Pinky
Thank you for this I it made me chuckle
denise
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Pinky McKay" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2003 5:22 PM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep


> Hi Barb,
> Thanks, Ive just accepted the other offers for PP -what a scream! - an
> interview of breastfed kids - I might do that for a natural parenting
> mag -will check out some of the more avant guard mainstreamers too (Junior
> magazine have asked if I would like to write for them -
> www.juniormagazine.co.uk  -they've had some controversial/ unusual
> articles )  - My daughter Larissa (now almost 23 and almost a
psychologist)
> was around 51/2 when she tried to have a "booby " to help ease the pain of
> an ear infection (she hadnt nursed for a few weeks -Sarah -then 2 was
still
> nursing as well so there was plenty of milk) . As she tried to "nibble"
she
> looked up matter-of- factly and said "I think I've lost my sucking
> reflex" -that was her 'weaning'. She would be a great "expert".
>
> Now that is food for thought!
>
> Pinky
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: " barbara glare & chris bright" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 25, 2003 6:45 AM
> Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep
>
>
> > Dear Pinky,
> >
> > I'm still breastfeeding Cassie who is 5 and a half.  You could interview
> > her!  She speaks quite eloquently about breastfeeding and breastmilk.  I
> > could easily set you up with a few longer term breastfeeders for
> interviews,
> > and have some great photos of toddlers breastfeeding.
> >
> > Love, Barb
> > ABAPoster and Calendar orders [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "Neretlis, Bethany" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2003 11:08 PM
> > Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep
> >
> >
> > pinky, i have fed both my girls for 2 years each. unfortunately, i
ceased
> > feeding 10 months ago.
> > i am also a midwife. if there is any way i can help you with any
> > breastfeeding articles, please leet me know.
> > bethany
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Pinky McKay [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > Sent: Tuesday, 24 June 2003 19:51
> > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep
> >
> >
> > Yeah - how about "Extending the Breast" -reckon they'd cop that? (Im
sure
> > there has to be an "angle" -??soft and round - squished between grasping
> > little fingers?)
> >
> > Any current long term breastfeeders (with a nursing toddler 1 to 2 years
> old
> > right now) willing to be interviewed?
> > Ill check with Mara (the ed) -I bet they havent done one about THAT in
the
> > recent (or distant) past.
> > Pinky.
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "Cheryl LHK" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2003 5:38 PM
> > Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep
> >
> >
> > > And Pinky ... you do a great job in your little bit in the mag.
> > >
> > > Having been a subscriber for several years now, it both informs and
> > astounds
> > > me some of the articles that are written.  We are getting back to some
> > > common-sense mothering with your advice.
> > >
> > > They have (for years) been running a pregnancy diary where they follow
> > > through three different women from conception to birth;  several
ladies
> > over
> > > the years have wanted home birth, but not many have been sucessful.  I
> > think
> > > the last one ended up FTP and C/S.
> > >
> > > Keep up the good writing, are you doing one on the benefits of
> > > breast-feeding soon??
> > >
> > > Cheryl
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > >From: "Pinky McKay" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > > >Reply-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > > >To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > > >Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep
> > > >Date: Tue, 24 Jun 2003 09:28:19 +1000
> > > >
> > > >BTW -= my column in the current issue(June) of Practical Parenting is
I
> > > >Failed Sleep School -and the one just about to come out (July) is
> called
> > > >"Joined at The Hip"  -about Velcro babies and why carrying is good
for
> > > >babies. August is co-sleeping. I only get 500 words so its a tame
> > approach
> > > >(or I mightnt get it past) but the seeds are sown.
> > > >
> > > >The July issue (due out next week, I think) has an article about 3
> breech
> > > >births that WERENT caesarean -and also an article about episiotomies
> that
> > I
> > > >havent read yet -may be worth some letters to the ed on these ones.
> > > >Pinky
> > > >   ----- Original Message -----
> > > >   From: Jaqueline Marwick
> > > >   To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > > >   Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2003 12:53 AM
> > > >   Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >   I must agree with Pinky as well
> > > >   And I call it the CIO method, the old name which is really CRY IT
> OUT.
> > > >Now they call it "controlled crying" so it sounds a bit less cruel.
> This
> > is
> > > >in fact the old CRY IT OUT method, which means parents are told to
let
> > > >their babies cry , cry, cry until there are no more tears and so they
> > sleep
> > > >very tired from a very stressful cry, and probably thinking it makes
no
> > > >difference to cry or not, since mum and dad won't come to comfort
them
> > > >anyway.  Sad.
> > > >   I went to this website (sleep baby sleep) and looked on their
forum,
> > and
> > > >there it was: BINGO!  Someone mentioned NGALA , an organisation in WA
> > that
> > > >promotes this CIO method for babies and also preaches that we should
> cut
> > > >the night feeds and even avoid eye contact with the baby during the
> night
> > > >(in case they wake up)amongst other pretty full on evil ways. Sad.
> > > >   And the worst thing is that these people have plenty of room in
the
> > > >media, I always hear them talking on the radio as "specialists" or
> > "experts
> > > >in sleep methods", "experts in parenting"
> > > >   And they do have an audience!
> > > >   May God have mercy on them!  What sort of child-parent
relationship
> > are
> > > >these people creating by establishing that pattern?
> > > >   Jackie
> > > >
> > > >     -----Original Message-----
> > > >     From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > > >[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Behalf Of Pinky McKay
> > > >     Sent: Monday, 23 June 2003 2:17 PM
> > > >     To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > > >     Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >     I think you are right Marilyn - did anyone see Saturdays Age -re
> 25
> > > >year olds and the stress these women are under - career/ study
etc -not
> > at
> > > >all about mothers, but add mothering, especially with unrealistic
> > > >expectations, to this scenario and it would all be a slippery
downhill
> > > >slide.
> > > >
> > > >     I have several friends at the grandmother end who are wearing
this
> > > >stress (as well as trying to live their own lives) and actually being
> > > >diagnosed with depression -as their young daughters are struggling
with
> > > >mothering and finding it overwhelming - maybe we all need to learn to
> > slow
> > > >up somehow and reach out to each other more.  It seems prescriptions
> > (which
> > > >I am not knocking either, as they are a definite lifeline, just the
> irony
> > > >that they are offered as the 'fix') are needed to cope with things
that
> > > >should be helped by support - yet the community for honoring
mothering
> > isnt
> > > >really there and our life pace is getting so fast. Or could it be
these
> > new
> > > >mums are part of a generation who missed out on nurturing themselves?
> > > >
> > > >     There is a saying - "happiness is not in things it is in us" but
> > > >perhaps it really isnt "in us" if we are stressed from birth and as
> > infants
> > > >-and possibly predisposed to react more sensitively to work/life
> stress.
> > > >There is evidence that excess stress hormones -iecortisol can
"shrink"/
> > > >alter parts of the brain - at any age (I am just waiting for a new
desk
> > to
> > > >arrive so all my stuff is inaccessible but had some interesting notes
> > from
> > > >a neuro psychologist at Monash on this). So if women were already
> living
> > > >under stress, then they would be close to the 'edge' and a baby could
> be
> > > >the final 'straw' .
> > > >
> > > >       I am not sure how much of this stress is due to perception and
> > > >expectations - surely mothers/ people in general havent always been
so
> > > >unhappy.
> > > >
> > > >     Pinky
> > > >
> > > >       ----- Original Message -----
> > > >       From: Marilyn Kleidon
> > > >       To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > > >       Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2003 7:18 AM
> > > >       Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >       I totally agree with both Darren and Pinky as I am sure most
> > > >everyone on the list does. However if you go to the Forums on that
> > website,
> > > >you see a whole other experience.  It seems many new mothers have a
> very
> > > >unrealistic expectation about being a mother, and not much has
changed
> in
> > > >30 years of the expectations of many men. Of course these
expectations
> > are
> > > >reinforced by family and friends.
> > > >
> > > >        The sad thing that seems to be hitting me over the head as I
> work
> > > >on the postnatal ward is that I think many women are latently (is
that
> > the
> > > >right word) depressed: I mean just marginally below the surface of
true
> > > >clinical depression. And so it doesn't take much to tip them over the
> > edge
> > > >of not coping. They are not happy, they are barely coping with life,
in
> > > >short they are doing it tough. Maybe I am over reacting, I hope so.
And
> I
> > > >don't think a mental health referral would help any more than a sleep
> > baby
> > > >sleep program. However I do think these baby sleep marketeers are
> taking
> > > >advantage of a climate of unhappiness.
> > > >
> > > >       marilyn
> > > >         ----- Original Message -----
> > > >         From: Darren Sunn
> > > >         To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > > >         Sent: Sunday, June 22, 2003 8:21 PM
> > > >         Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >         I agree with Pinky,
> > > >
> > > >         Sleep managment masqurades as many forms (controlled crying
> > etc.)
> > > >         There exits undue pressure not only from your own family but
> > from
> > > >relatives and friends to implement some form of sleep modification.
> > > >Especially when bith of you have had no sleep for days , your moody
and
> > > >feeling distressed.
> > > >         Our beautiful child is 12 months now and he recently went
> > through
> > > >a 2 week period of waking every hour. Needless to say we spent a lot
of
> > > >time supporting each other and I explained to my work collegues that
i
> > > >wasn't going to be much use..(ha ha).
> > > >         That was only a few weeks back and now he is sleeping with
> only
> > > >one or 2 wakes a night.(ps he does sleep with us also).
> > > >         He did have his molars comming  through and I definately
> believe
> > > >they effected his sleeping patterns.
> > > >
> > > >         Babies and their families need support and reassurance, not
> > > >systems of behaviour modification.
> > > >
> > > >         Darren
> > > >           ----- Original Message -----
> > > >           From: Pinky McKay
> > > >           To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > > >           Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 9:06 AM
> > > >           Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >           YUk!!!
> > > >           Sounds cruel and a rip off to me - have you seen the
> > Australian
> > > >association of Infant mental health policy on controlled crying
> (settling
> > > >techniques included) -I have a copy if anyone wants to email me
offlist
> > (so
> > > >I can attach). I will try and get it onto my website soon.
> > > >
> > > >           BTW - they recommend my books as an alternative to CC.
> > > >
> > > >           I had a mum at my infant massage class last week - with a
> > > >beautiful 3 month old - very upset and confused as her MCH had told
her
> > her
> > > >baby a) should be sleeping longer (and alone - she co-sleeps) b) she
> > > >shouldnt allow him to fall asleep in the sling and c) if he
breastfeeds
> > to
> > > >sleep this will cause insomnia as he will wake -ALL NIGHT - seeking a
> > > >breast.Thankfully there was a wonderfully sensible mum of a seven
month
> > old
> > > >whose baby had just gently weaned off bedtime booby who was able to
> > > >reinforce that the baby knows what it is ready for  - without force.
We
> > > >talked about how mothers can nurture themselves/ pressures/ make life
> > > >simpler etc -then I gave homework - a "jarmy/ cocoon day" - feedback
> was
> > > >very positive about how much they struggled with pressure to be
> > superwoman
> > > >- and how much it really didnt matter that they left the dishes etc -
> it
> > > >was all still there or not important once they did get back into
> things.
> > > >
> > > >           I am sure many of these mums are just very pressured that
> > their
> > > >babies are not behaving "properly" - there is a lot of performance
> > anxiety
> > > >rather than actual exhaustion, and if exhaustion is the case - why?
> What
> > is
> > > >the mother trying to do as well as mother and bond with her baby?
> > > >-especially when many of these bubs are less than 6 weeks old - the
> > > >traditional lying in time. Could the mother have PND and all theblame
> is
> > > >being laid on the baby? How can the mum nurture herself and could she
> try
> > > >some gentle techniques to help baby sleep a bit "better" - ie
massage/
> > > >relaxation bath/ 'topup feed' last thing before she goes to
> bed -without
> > > >waking baby (breastmilk if bub is breastfed), minimising stimulation
at
> > > >bedtime - how many mums have TV on  -this is a bombardmernt of
new-born
> > > >senses? Examine mums diet - ??high in salicylates/ caffeine etc which
> > could
> > > >make bub restless. ?Food intolerance.
> > > >
> > > >           There are lots of simple commonsense things that should be
> > > >passed on mother to mother without charging $500 - It really shows
that
> > not
> > > >only birth and breastfeeding, but infant sleep management is
> medicalised
> > as
> > > >well -  Im not having a go at LCs here -I just feel we can see things
> as
> > > >problematic when it should all be a natural process; I feel the need
> for
> > > >breastfeeding intervention is real but likely due to issues
surrounding
> > > >birth - ?? are all these things a follow-on from managed birth -are
we
> > all
> > > >that desperate for control? - and, would surrendering at birth help
> > mothers
> > > >surrender to the natural forces of mothering? I believe it would.
> > > >
> > > >           Pinky
> > > >           www.pinky-mychild.com
> > > >             ----- Original Message -----
> > > >             From: hplerchbacher
> > > >             To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > > >             Sent: Sunday, June 22, 2003 9:47 PM
> > > >             Subject: [ozmidwifery] Sleep Baby Sleep
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >             Dear Wise Listers,
> > > >
> > > >             Has anyone heard of this program called "Sleep Baby
> Sleep".
> > > >One of the woman emailed someone and had quote of this superb course
to
> > > >positive routine management for $500. Please check out the website
> > > >www.sleepbabysleep.net
> > > >
> > > >             I told the woman and her husband to utilise local
support
> > > >instead. Is this a scam?
> > > >
> > > >             Ping
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >             ---
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(http://www.grisoft.com).
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> > >
> > > _________________________________________________________________
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