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Hey Nic,
You're sounding like a PERFECT candidate for the
HAS committee!!!!!
Jo
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, December 11, 2003 10:32
AM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] I've had a
baby (long)
can ABSOLUTELY relate to your e-mail Jo.
My first two babies were born naturally (drug and
intervention free) in our local small hospital. The second was particularly
wonderful for a hospital birth - we were SO lucky to have a fantastic
midwife with our same birth philosophy... and who even defied the
obstetrician, and let me birth on the floor, where I wanted to be (she was
supposed to get me onto the hospital bed). I was later told that she was 'told
off' by the obs.
BUT there is NO comparison to our third baby's
birth - AT HOME!!! Birthing in the comfort and security of your own home
- surrounded by your loved ones and your own trusted midwives ... your young
children gathered around excitedly awaiting their new baby....is empowering,
exhilerating, liberating, and more blissful than anything I have ever
experienced. To all gather in the loungeroom afterwards, singing happy
birthday to our baby, sharing cups of tea, cake etc and bathing in this new
darling being - was beautiful.
re. playgroups etc. i feel like a huge fish
out of water - regarding the two things I am SO passionate about - birthing
and breastfeeding!
I left my mothers group as I was only 1 of 2
women who had given birth naturally (there were approx. 15 women in total!!)
and enjoyed the experience of giving birth. I was also the only
one who continued breastfeeding beyond 6 months (still am feeding that 'baby'
who is now 2.4 yrs old - along with his baby brother 4 mths)....
The straw that broke the camels back for me, was one particular mother
who decided she wanted to wean her baby of her breast - and decided to do it
abruptly - and cruelly - her baby was VERY distressed and lost weight -
because he refused the bottle - as he so missed the breast. The mother's logic
was - that he would eventually take the bottle as he would be so starving....
I would go home in tears....
at playgroup now... well, it's not as bad as
mother's group was... but I still feel very different. They give me looks when
I pounce on the communal plate of food (for the children's morning tea) before
it gets to my toddler - as it contains junk like cheesels and fruit
loops ... so, therefore usually bring my own for him.I usually keep to
myself - and wander around with my toddler (as I'm there for him). They
haven't seen me breastfeed my toddler yet and don't know I had a homebirth -
(I don't go that often) so I haven't had any comments about that yet.
I so wish there was a kind of attachment
parenting playgroup where I live - it would be SO wonderful to be with other
women who share the same parenting philosophies... natural birth/home birth;
co-sleeping; baby wearing etc.... we could all be fish swimming in the
same water!!
cheers,
Nicole
x x x
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, December 11, 2003 12:00
AM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] I've had a
baby (long)
It really p#%*$*s me off when another woman
says "wow, you're brave having homebirths" when I say I had my babies at
home. I wouldn't be so rude and disrespectful as to say to them "wow, you're
brave having hospital births" even though that is what I'm
thinking.
I'm as equally p*%$#*d off when they say "Oh
you're one of the lucky ones who has easy births" I want to scream that it
has nothing at all to do with luck and they certainly weren't
easy.
The exhilaration of natural birth (at home) is
like nothing else I have ever, nor will ever experience again, in my eyes
nothing else will ever beat it and as Margie Perkins said at the recent
homebirth conference (something along these lines) it is like all
homebirthers have a secret that we can't explain to anyone else who hasn't
experienced it.
It has nothing to do with feeling superior to
anyone else and for along time I'd keep my mouth shut at playgroup etc about
my birth experiences because it seemed to become a competition on who had
the worst time of it. Some have called me lucky, weird, crazy, a purist, mad
homebirther etc etc. I no longer keep my mouth shut because I know
a different way and I want to spread the word!
Jo
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2003
6:09 PM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] I've had a
baby (long)
I agree Jayne, and BLOODY GREAT job Jackie.
Remember our chat in Darwin. I have ‘borrowed’ your marathon
analogy re being rescued from natural birth! Thanks
Also Sylvia.
I think you need to consider a few factors of current maternity
services in Australia.
To have a natural birth today is
hard enough, to secure a homebirth is near impossible and the resultant
exhilaration is shared by so few. I found this when I (naively)
referred to the birth (at a local mother’s group) of my first (HB) as
the most beautiful, sacred thing I had ever done and that I later felt
like Xena, Warrior Woman! I was greeted with “give me an epidural
any day” Gawd I was so out of it for 2 days after etc etc. I was totally
ostracised as a zealot and made very unwelcome.
Re the C/s stuff.
Women who genuinely need a C/s have my upmost respect and
sympathy, but these are so fewer than the numbers performed. I
also really admire the women who realise they were dudded and make
different choices for subsequent babes, they have achieved real personal
growth. I never make women feel bad for having a C/s, but the same
respect is not afforded homebirthers who are often made feel very guilty
for indulging and putting their babe at risk etc. But what I AM SO
ANGRY ABOUT is that it is the fear and lack of information sought from
so many women continues the misinformation and the very real
public perception that C/S is the safest, nicest way to give birth and
that women like me are zealots. With so many women researching more
about the purchase of a car or major appliance than the birth of their
child the perception and lack of evidence and subsequent high morbidity
continues. What we know is around 1% of women actually
choose an elective C/s for no medical reason and yet there has been so
much media around this being the ‘new way’ the majority of women
are lied to and scared half to death and then believe they “had to have
a C/S”.
Women like me are denied their basic right, unlike the
woman who schedules her C/s to suit her diary (remember as a taxpayer I
pay for the unnecessary C/S then I go and fully fund my homebirth).
To make midwifery care and homebirth a real option is not to deny
women the choice of C/S or Obs or anything else and yet the polarity of
the debate continues to be down on those with little or no
rights/choices!
For the few women that have experienced the
amazing high of natural birth (esp at home when a woman is totally in
her domain) the high is like no other. I defy any woman on the
planet who has experienced this to say she would choose another way.
Welcome to the club Jackie, and so glad you had a soft landing Ena! Bet
Dad is also grinning!!
Justine
Oh
Sylvia, you are right but I honestly don't think that Jackie meant to
imply anything :( She is obviously on a wonderful high after
the birth of her baby.
Jayne
-----
Original Message -----
From: Sylvia
<mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Wednesday, December
10, 2003 11:04 AM
Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] I've had a baby
(long)
Congratulations on the birth of your
daughter. What a happy story that was.
However, whilst I in
no way support the Today show story and a 'live' caesarean was just
terrible and sensationalist television you finish your letter with the
comment 'that's not childbirth'. And I agree with this - it's
not vaginal birth, but an operative 'delivery'.
What upset me was your closing
comments which I felt smacked of a superiority in having done it
'naturally' . This type of belief only adds to the pain and
confusion of those women who have been subjected to caesareans.
As a neonatal nurse and a midwife I often see mothers who,
rightly or wrongly, have had an operative delivery followed by their
baby requiring admission to a tertiary neonatal unit. Not only
as these women having to cope with the stress of a sick newborn but
they must also cope with their perceived 'failure' to deliver
naturally. It's devastating to witness and I would like to
remind those of us fortunate enough to have experienced a wonderful
birth such as described here that women whose children are born via
LUSCS are already mourning, and do not need others implying that they
are somehow lesser mothers because of this operation.
Thank
you.
Vance & Edwina
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
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Dear Jackie, Andrew and
Ena,
Congratulations to you all! What a wonderful birth
story, I can see the smile on your face from here!!. I am so happy
for you, especially Jackie whom I have met and always admired as a
midwifery role model and a mentor during my grad program. Lots
of love Edwina J
-----Original Message-----
From:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of
Jackie Kitschke
Sent: Friday, December 05, 2003 12:05
AM
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject:
[ozmidwifery] I've had a baby (long)
Dear all,
I
have been lurking on and off over the last few months with a midwife
and consumer view as I have given birth myself to a girl, Ena, on
the 19.11.03. Having loosely followed the thread of fetal hearts,
Today show etc along with my own experience I have a couple of
comments.
We had Ena at home and employed
the services of the wonderful Roz Donnellan-Fernandez. She came and
saw me about 5 times antenatally and would be here for a couple of
hours so that even though I didn't see her lots of times (the
frequency was my choice) I had plenty of time to convey to her how I
felt, what outside factors may influence me etc and my husband
Andrew had plenty of time to ask questions etc.
We also invited a midwifery student, Jessica,
to share our experience and so the four of us welcomed Ena into the
world on a stormy evening.
I
used the lessons taught to me by the many women I have met over the
years including telling no-one our due date (handy as we went a week
over), restricting visitors till 2 weeks, (handy as we had some
postnatal issues), preparing lots of food before hand and taking
plenty of time off before hand (well I am an elderly (38)
primagravida!!).
The birth was the hardest, bestest, most
overpowering thing I have ever done and gave us a girl (first one in
Andrew's family for 48 years) in our bathroom. We needed to transfer
to hospital for Ena which was fortuitous as we discovered her
platelets were 20,000 as I have an antibody on my platelets which
were destroying hers and my platelets were 50,000 as I have a lupus
anti-coagulant on mine (very unusual to have both or even one but it
was a week where everything was unusual!!). So it was lucky I had a
normal birth as an operative birth would have been dangerous for
both of us and as it was a 6 hour ROP labour I am not sure if
wouldn't have elected to have pain relief or what heaps of
monitoring would have done. I am now at home with a baby who is
wondering what all of the fuss was about (there were a few other
issues which I won't go into but were all resolved! ). I used the
maternity services as necessity required and my birth experience was
great. I am so glad I didn't have to recover from a LUSCS as I was
pumping etc as Ena spent some time in the nursery asleep from
phenebarb due to some twitching. I wanted there to be lots of
milk for her when she woke up, which there was (not bad considering
my Hb was 7.4 due to a retained placenta and PPH) all thanks to the
LW staff at the WCH keeping all visitors out, keeping me in LW and
having Andrew stay with me. (I was treated like the Queen of Sheba
by everyone and I don't know how Ican ever thank all of my friends
and colleuges for what they did for us).
Watching part of the Today show really
angered me as that is not childbirth. Mess in the bathroom,
exhilarated mother, exhausted and relieved support people and
beautiful, 4.230kgs, caput and moulded head daughter is
childbirth!!!!!
Jackie
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