Hi Pinky: That is too cruel!! Hah! marilyn ----- Original Message ----- From: "Pinky McKay" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Sunday, March 21, 2004 7:48 PM Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] co-sleeping
> Hi Marilyn, > I first discovered breastfeeding was "supposed" to inhibit sex drive at a la > leche league meeting when my 3rd baby was a few weeks old -and there I was > obliviously waiting for my 6 week check up so I could really "get going > again!" > > I do remember saying "help yourself Im asleep" (which did seem to offend but > I was too tired to give a damn on that particular occasion). but I never > found breastfeeding to inhibit desire or lubrication etc. I have found > myself the "odd one out" in discussions which tend to blame breastfeeding > for lack of interest. I actually felt really sexy -I had tits!! for the > first time, so I guess we can be victims of our conditioning whether it is > the madonna whore effect which some mums explain means they dont feel that > they can equate being a mother with being spontaneous, or who the breasts > "belong" to - me actually! > > > I did find the birth experience made a difference to how I felt - especially > as I mentioned, how many rubber gloved fingers had been in my vagina. And, > like Barb mentioned - a bit of household help could be a turn on - I read > somewhere the words of a psycoanalyst who said "show me an impeccable > housewife and I will show you a woman with severe sexual hangups ." I often > used this to "justify" my postponement of household duties asking my husband > "well, do you want a WIFE (Washing Ironing F'ing Etc) or lover? Then whilst > nursing in a postnatal ward in NZ one day, the charge nurse and I returned > from lunch to a student midwife saying "XXXX has upset your ladies". It > turned out that XXX had tidied up the caesarean ladies -I used to leave > their slippers etc in easy reach -and she had them all sitting up neat and > tidy when they wanted to rest and they were collectively crying. The Charge > nurse grinned and quoted the famous psychoanalist saying "well you know what > they say...." the next weekend as I came on duty I was greeted by the charge > nurse in stitches -Apparently XXXs husband had been picked during the week - > for flashing outside the Girls High school !! > > Pinky > > > > Pinky > > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Marilyn Kleidon" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Sent: Tuesday, March 23, 2004 7:00 AM > Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] co-sleeping > > > > You know Belinda, I think that was my parents' approach to me sleeping > with > > them. I have a fond memory of their bed being a welcoming place up until I > > was about 2 or 3 yrs then I have a memory of being cramped, hot, and itchy > > when in there...I soon preferred my own bed though would go in for > > reassurance. My dad had a similar ploy for avoiding housework: he would do > > it but happily get fired by my mum for not doing it to her expectations. > > Umm! > > > > Re sex: I never felt it was a chore always something I really wanted too. > > Any time it was "expected" it was a definite turn off and a turn down. I > > always found an active sex life to actually be an energizer for me and was > > definetly prepared to sacrifice the housewifely jobs(but not the mothering > > joys) to play matahari. Granted this can be a bone of contention so to > > speak. I can accept being the odd woman out here: I am not overly fond of > > chocolate and never, never suffer from being too cold in air conditioning > or > > any situations that don't involve a windchill factor. I know lactation is > > theoretically supposed to decrease sex drive and lubrication not so for me > > though it did inhibit ovulation until the absolute last breastfeed for all > 3 > > girls. Even one feed a day kept fertility away. But not the sex drive. Oh > > well! > > > > marilyn > > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: "Belinda Maier" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > Sent: Sunday, March 21, 2004 6:13 PM > > Subject: [ozmidwifery] co-sleeping > > > > > > > When i got desperate with my second child who as about five and always > in > > > our small bed as well as his new brother I tried many things. What > worked > > > best was always welcoming him into our bed yet making him very > > uncomfortable > > > so his own bed was more attractive ie squishing him towards the edge of > > the > > > bed, being restless, dragging the pillow or blankets slightly off him > etc. > > > He soon chose to have a cuddle then get back into his own comfy bed. > > > The partner and sex thing, I think parenting does sap a lot of energy > for > > > sex but it doesnt have to be a bad thing it is just a stage of your > life. > > > Most epople I know say when the kids get older you start to regain > energy > > > for you sex life. It seems women are expected to be too much; mothers, > > > drivers, cleaners, workers and also lovers! Partners/men should be > > > apprecieated but it is like my kids, they dont just get rewarded for > being > > > reasonable good poeple, that is an everyday expectation neither do we > > focus > > > on 'bad' behaviour, they are appreciated and loved and reminded tof the > > > qualities in them that we love. I get a bit frustrated when men are > > revered > > > for being so great when they are really doing no more than the average > > woman > > > is doing. > > > Belinda > > > > > > -- > > > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > > > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > > > > > > > > > -- > > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > > -- > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. 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