----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, April 02, 2004 12:42
AM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] re. sleep
article
I would like to say at the opening that I
totally support co-sleeping and actively do this with the the women I
support as a midwife.
However, I also believe that sleep
requirements (like many other aspects of midiwfery care) are highly
individual. Some people do very well on 3-4 hrs of sleep/24 hr period,
other of us need 6-8 hours of good sleep and others still need 8-10 hours.
We have a bit of a tendency to make heroes of those who need 3-4 hours.
And often others try desperately to emmulate them.
Of course we deny ourselves sleep if our
children need us in the night, as good parents we tend their need and
endure the exhaustion. BUT, dare I say this, if this becomes a habit
rather than a real need, we (unless we fit into the group that need
minimal sleep) do become chronically sleep deprived and quite frankly I
don't think this benefits anyone. We have to look at what is going
on.
Now, I do firmly believe that it is totally
possible for cosleeping parents and babies to get good sleep. And I
acknowledge that the early postpartum is often a state of sleep
deprivation especially if the mother is finding it difficult to sleep
during the day due to other responsibilities. Sleep should be a number 1
priority, if it does then things often just fall into place.
Somehow the trick is to encourage children to
enjoy their sleep time and look forward to it. Apparently easier said than
done.
All that being said, I think the child
behavior patterns the media is now reporting on are concerning: we have to
stop the habits of filling our children with sugary drinks (be that cordial or
softdrink) and caffeine (from a confirmed coffee drinker as an adult),
feeding them junk food (whether we bought it take away or spent hours
preparing it), indulging their need for every advertised toy and
convincing ourselves that the "gameboys" etc. are educational (I actually
have heard very convincing arguments for this) and get back to actually
parenting our children, non-violently, in a concerned, passionate,
compassionate, loving, but non-indulgent way (ie they just don't get
everything they want), in other words we have to set some boundaries (I
actually hate that word, but have use it sometimes) and learn to care for
ourselves too so that we parent wisely.
marilyn
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, March 31, 2004
6:45 AM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] re.
sleep article
As a co-sleeping mum who has just
joined this list recently - I must say I'm enjoying thi
sleep thread immensly!
Not sure if I'm wandering a little too far
off the path - but I thought I'd post this question I've been pondering
of late......
Whilst many of us agree on the benefits of
co-sleeping for both mum and baby - it does interest me how often I
hear/read about co-sleeping parents who literally describe themselves as
"walking zombies", "chronically sleep deprived" and "mindless" due to
the lack of sleep they have been receiving since the birth of their
co-sleeping children.
What I'm wondering is this.....is this
fatigue in direct response to their co-sleeping r'ship with their child?
And if so - do you believe that this sleep
deprivation is more so a reflection of our Western approach to sleep and
daily life in general ie. mothers are not only expected to tend to their
babies at night - but also get up and cook, clean, do school pick up etc
all the following day?
OR
Do you believe or know to be true that this
pattern of chronic sleep deprivation is also an experience felt by
traditional women practiticing this form of attached parenting
also?
Strange question I know.
But in light of the fact that this sleep
deprivation is most often the reason why parents choose NOT to share
sleep with their kids.....I think its an area that we do really need to
examine more closely.
I tend to believe that its not so much the
impact of the co-sleep approach that's the problem - but more so our
societal expectations of women as mothers day to day that causes them to
lose steam and steer away from such an intense, attached experience of
parenting their children. Which if true - offers up a very sad message
about what we as a society truly value as important.
Keen to hear all your thoughts on this
one.
Melinda Whyman
NATURAL PARENTING MELBOURNE
www.naturalparenting.comau/npm/~Parenting
Naturally - Respecting our children and our Earth~
Phone: +61 3 9756
0464
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, March 31, 2004
11:02 PM
Subject: [ozmidwifery] re. sleep
article
Is it any wonder that all these
children are havng such a dreadful time sleeping - when we live in a
world a "good" baby is one who sleeps all night... and tucked
far away in her own bed, in another room .. (like it or not)...
AND if she doesn't do that... make her scream and sob her heart
out... her spirit will eventually be broken....she'll surrender and
eventually sleep....
" a mother and a newborn have every
right to be together from birth on. This can make a significant
contribution toward producing a trusting individual capable of warm,
close relationships. Both Mother and Child have a need for
reciprocal stimulation which should not be interfered with. Yet the
greatest interference of all is placed upon them. Separation. The
reasons for this separation are now being questioned."
(The Family Bed by Tine
Thevenin)...
"A lot of people are so square as to
think they're entitled to a night's sleep. Nobody is entitled to a
full nights sleep, whether a parent or not, if someone needs her or
him."
(also from the Family Bed)
kind regards,
Nicole
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, March 31, 2004
7:34 PM
Subject: [ozmidwifery]
Interesting article
This is interesting and makes me wonder
if there was any pattern in the sleeping arrangements of these
children?? i.e. co-sleeping, separate bedrooms etc....this seems to
be often overlooked as a variable in such studies.
Helen
Cahill
