I agree Megan, but sadly we have had these wonderful experiences due to independent midwifery and homebirth.
I can see how so many men (even the good one's!) would be traumatised by birth within the system and see it as such a gruesome event. Long before I had children I worked in a large Gov Department and at a morning tea to celebrate a colleagues first baby he recounted the story. He was a bit of a pig but his opening words were "Picture it, a slaughterhouse.." A close friend of my husband recounts the birth of their first child, episiotomy and forceps as the "most brutal, gross thing he has ever seen" He seems to place his wife as part of this. He refuses to understand how Paul's experience has been one of beauty, amazement, respect and a deepening of our relationship (and before marriage and children they were similar type blokes). So other than the type of birth what was the difference? The education and the support and the TRUST, through the model of care (we had HB's they had Priv Ob/hosp). My husband trusted our known carer, he believed in me and we were rewarded greatly for taking responsibility rather than abdicating one of the most crucial human experiences to a virtual stranger. So while 99% of men witness the birth of their children in a hosp setting sharing a most intimate moment (yes so similar to sex) amongst strangers and enduring a raft of unnecessary interventions (some plain barbaric) then is there any wonder men feel they were at the 'wrong end of the bed'. To me this is why it is so hard for people to accept that birth can be beautiful when their experience has been so different. Justine Mum to 4 home born children, hubby caught 3 and held me for number 4! Looking forward (well trying) to catch one of the next 2 myself! -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.
