Barbara & Chris wrote:
"be flexible enough for staff to take the baby for a while if needed -
carrying in a sling is great modelling for the mum and
keeps baby calm, or dad or grandma can help out".
Isn't this what we are talking about ?Sharing the load ? If Mum requests
help so she can get 3 hours uninterrupted sleep can't we as MW wear the
papoose & give her a break ? This is mother & baby friendly.
No one says mother & baby aren't a unit but forcing women to do things they
aren't comfortable with is not informed choice or any other kind of choice
either is it? How is that different from the OB who insists birth should
happen in the dorsal because it's better for his back ?
Time & time again I tuck babies in with Mums overnight & snug them down
together so they can be a unit & an unsettled baby will sleep. Usually
within the hour (just as the babe is nicely settled) the Mum buzzes & asks
for the baby to be "put in his cot now, I'm afraid of rolling on him because
the SIDS brochure says............." . It is not lack of prenatal ed either
before someone throws that one in ! It's plain maternal choice ( plus the
huge fear factor SIDS has engendered re co-sleeping).
If I can manage to persuade her otherwise ie she won't kill her babe by
co-sleeping if she follows these recommended guidelines............ then in
the morning most of the woman state that they "didn't sleep a wink, I was
very uncomfortable & anxious with the baby in bed with me". These are double
beds of normal height I might add. So we do try to keep mothers & babies as
units but to force the issue is not right & the women complain to the NUM !
Occasionally women love it. They express this happily & thank the staff for
showing them how to B/F lying down & safely co-sleep (against hosp policy).
So whilst baby friendly is great in theory some mothers just don't want to
be that way ! Like it or not ! If we cannot help her out then it's tough on
the mother, that's the bottom line & it's the way she perceives it to be.
After all it's not about you & me and what we think or believe is right,( I
had 4 B/F co-sleepers of my own) it's about her & what she feels & wants
isn't it ? I can tell a woman till I'm blue that delaying her initial shower
to allow time for:
" she doesn't need to rush off straight away and have a shower - there'll
be time for that
later. Her baby needs to smell her familiar smell and get to know his mum
(and breastfeed)"
BUT if she doesn't want to do it, I am not going to make her, that is
assault/restraint ! That makes me no better than all the other prescriptive
people in her pregnancy doesn't it ? Sometimes we just have to accept that
whilst we see the truth one way, others see it another !! There is no one
way !
With kind regards
Brenda Manning
www.themidwife.com.au
----- Original Message -----
From: "Barbara Glare & Chris Bright" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.au>
Sent: Wednesday, November 23, 2005 6:03 AM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Mother friendly hospitals
Hi,
I really disagree that baby friendly hospitals are OK for the baby but
tough on the mother. And if your baby friendly hospital is tough on the
mother, then you should be looking at why - because it shouldn't be that
way. The newborn mother and baby are a unit. They both surely need to be
cared for as though they were one. I think it's part of the problem of
society that mothers and babies are pitted against each other almost from
birth.
Mothers and babies are both usually happier and calmer when together. If
a mother is of the believe that she needs the baby away from her to rest,
a common enough belief in our society, maybe all that needs to happen is a
little empathy and good explanations from the staff "I know you are tired,
but what we find is that mothers and babies actually rest better when they
rest together." Just like you would explain to a mum that she doesn't need
to rush off straight away and have a shower - there'll be time for that
later. Her baby needs to smell her familiar smell and get to know his mum
(and breastfeed)
Surely hospitals can be flexible enough for staff to take the baby for a
while if needed - carrying in a sling is great modelling for the mum and
keeps baby calm, or dad or grandma can help out.
For every mother I hear when I'm assessing baby friendly hopitals who say
they would have liked a nursery, I hear many, many more whom the staff
told that they must be tired and they would take the baby so the mother
could rest - the mothers lay unsleeping and rigid in their beds, worrying
if that baby they could hear crying was their baby.
Barb
----- Original Message -----
From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.au>
Sent: Wednesday, November 23, 2005 12:27 AM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Mother friendly hospitals
Wouldn't it ?
I always say baby - friendly is OK for the baby but often it's really
tough on the mothers.
We ought to be able to do service to both, compromise being the operative
word.
The old days of 'lying in & convalescing' were good for mothers & babies,
I agree with the previous post about too much being expected of new
mothers. Especially after a C/S which after all is major surgery.
Yes, birth is a natural process but never the less it's exhausting, hard,
manual & mental labour. Women need to recover & recuperate to cope with
the demands of mothering, feeding & running a household.
The old 'lying in hospitals ' were not such a bad idea were they ? In
fact I've often thought of the need for a private facility offering those
services nowadays. Like an extended stay unit where women go post birth
for 1 or 2 weeks & get fed,nurtured, educated, assisted with feeding,
shown postnatal exercises, encouraged to rest, have massages, see
naturopaths re healing remedies if needed etc.
In fact Wholistic Care !!
What do you think ?
Idealistic ??
Dean & Jo <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Ahhh!
mother friendly hospitals...now that would be worth pursuing!
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