[ozmidwifery] Re: conflict?

[Janet Fraser]

I'd have to say I have a somewhat different view from this after nearly twenty years of feminist activism. I dislike the idea that women are a homogeneous group who must all stand shoulder to shoulder without question or compromise to achieve our goals. I know Condoleeza Rice and I have little in common! We are socialised to avoid conflict at all costs hence the reason (among others, of course, but a big one) that we need birth activism in the first place. Many of us struggle to believe our right to question or say no is actually a right, not a privilege to be carefully exercised only when it can be guaranteed not to offend anyone. I'm tired of the old "women are harder on each other than men" line which is thinly veiled misogygny. Men also beat one another to death but no one says it about them! And most frequently that violence comes at women but again no one seems to think that may actually be harder on women than a frank exchange of views!   Masculinism has a lot more to lose than we do as women claim power for themselves and this is one way it keeps a stranglehold on us. Conflict or difference are not innate problems. How they are managed is the issue. In any relationship differences will arise, and it's the way that is met and dealt with that either ends or continues the relationship, now strengthened by honesty and clarity of purpose and understanding. We cannot simply accept unquestioningly all ideas or this would turn us into mindless sheeple and there are enough of those in the world already.   Our diversity is actually our strength, not a pretence at some kind of vagina solidarity. By the same token, the enforced uniformity of the monolith we oppose is both it's weakness and strength. Yes, the walls are strong but they cannot fail to fall with enough brilliance, strength and purpose pushing on them. Shutting up and not speaking our truths is way too dangerous and simply the patriarchy within enforcing it's rules through us as surely as women performing genital mutilation on one another.   I'm not scared of wellmanaged disagreement because it's normal and ok to disagree even with those who share wider goals. Being challenged is essential to keeping us all learning and thinking and I'm so grateful to the women who challenge me and have nourished my soul and intellect this way. So thanks, Kelly, for speaking YOUR truth and I would cheerfully lie in front of a bulldozer to support your right so to do as soon as I climb down from the tree I'm hugging.   J <- humourless feminist ----- Original Message ----- From: Sadie To: ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.au Sent: Saturday, September 23, 2006 11:22 AM Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] FYI news article GO MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!   Luv Sadie ----- Original Message ----- From: Mary Murphy To: ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.au Sent: Saturday, September 23, 2006 6:51 AM Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] FYI news article Tania rightly says ”I have never gotten used to the amount of internal bickering and horizontal violence that is perpetrated by women, towards other women. “ CAN WE PLEASE STOP THIS!  This juvenile attitude has split the women’s movement, the homebirth movement and every other collection of women I have seen and read about.