On Mon, May 2, 2011 at 1:14 PM, Stuart Jansen <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> I don't buy into the whole intro-/extrovert thing anymore. I used to
> think I was an introvert, but eventually discovered that under the right
> circumstances I'm an extrovert. I have a harder time relating to
> "normal" people, but that's just because they're not my people. Linux is
> my native culture, but I'm also comfortable with many other groups that
> were treated as outcasts in High School.
>
> I recognize that some people are more capable of entertaining themselves
> than other, and therefore some people are more inclined to need regular
> human contact. I also recognize that Asperges and such makes it harder
> for some to interact socially. But I reject the idea that "extroverts
> enjoy being around people" and "introverts don't enjoy being around
> other people". Instead, I would argue that "if you think you're an
> introvert, you haven't found your people yet".
>

Sounds like you have some reading to do. It is a real phenomenon, a
part of everyone's personality. It is not an all-or-nothing
characteristic, but a spectrum. Most people fall mainly on one side or
the other of the spectrum--they are predominantly one or the other.
They still exhibit both behaviors, but one more than the other. How
much of one vs the other depends on where on the spectrum they land.

What the spectrum really is measuring is from what source a person
derives their internal emotional energy. An introvert derives this
energy internally--and is "drained" by being around others. Thus after
a social event, they need "alone time" to recharge. Extroverts derive
this energy directly from interacting with other people, and are
"drained" by being alone--thus they get stir crazy and need to go out
and interact. Neither precludes one from needing some of the other.

It is a demonstrable, real characteristic, that in some cases can be
quite drastic. If you read stories on forums discussing this you will
encounter some introverts that actually suffered headaches from
stress, mitigated only once they discovered the introvert/extrovert
explanation and began scheduling enough "alone time" to "recharge".

If you and/or your SO do not understand that one of you is
introverted, often the need and requests for more "alone time" is
mistaken for a rejection of sorts, rather than an actual, real need
for something that provides emotional health/balance.

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