Those are great; thanks! I forwarded them to my husband's Inbox (he's an engineer). :)
On Monday, March 20, 2017 at 5:00:52 PM UTC-4, Travis wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > *Understanding Engineers #1* > > Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when > one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" > > The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, > minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, > threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what > you want." > > The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The > clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway." > > > *Understanding Engineers #2* > > To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass > is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs > to be. > > > *Understanding Engineers #3* > > A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a > particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with > those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" > > The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" > > The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with > him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of > us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" > > The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. > They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so > we always let them play for free anytime!." > > The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I > think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." > > The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist > colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." > > The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" > > > *Understanding Engineers #4* > > What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? > > Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. > > > *Understanding Engineers #5* > > The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" > > The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" > > The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" > > The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" > > > *Understanding Engineers #6* > > Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must > have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. > Just look at all the joints." > > Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system > has many thousands of electrical connections." > > The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. > Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational > area?" > > > *Understanding Engineers #7* > > Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers > believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. > > > *Understanding Engineers #8* > > An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him > and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He > bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog > spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a > beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." > > The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and > returned it to the pocket. > > The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a > princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." > > Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back > into his pocket. > > Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a > beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do > anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" > > The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a > girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool." > > > > *Two engineers???* > > Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its > top A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. > > "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said one, "but > we don't have a ladder." > > The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, > and laid the pole down on the ground Then she took a tape measure > from her pocketbook, took a measurement, and announced, "Twenty one > feet, six inches," and walked away. > > One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. > We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" > > Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are > currently serving in the United States Congress. > > > ------------------------------ > [image: Avast logo] <https://www.avast.com/antivirus> > > This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software. > www.avast.com <https://www.avast.com/antivirus> > > > > __._,_.___ > ------------------------------ > Posted by: "Beowulf" <[email protected] <javascript:>> > ------------------------------ > > > Visit Your Group > <https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/grendelreport/info;_ylc=X3oDMTJmaTVlb2dnBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIwMTk0ODA2BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTMyMzY2NwRzZWMDdnRsBHNsawN2Z2hwBHN0aW1lAzE0OTAwMjU5NDg-> > > > > [image: Yahoo! 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