I'm an ARKIE. What else would you expect. LOL On Tue, Nov 25, 2008 at 4:58 PM, Cold Water <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> *Don't mess with Texas Travis. : - )))* > ** > *CW* > > ----- Original Message ----- *From:* Travis <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > *To:* [email protected] > *Sent:* Tuesday, November 25, 2008 05:11 > *Subject:* Re: Texas > > You know what happened to Texas? > > Tex left. > > On Tue, Nov 25, 2008 at 4:03 PM, Philobealo <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > >> >> Ok, Folks. Texas has given you complainers plenty of time to get used >> to the election results.. After listening to all the whiners after the >> election, some folks from Real Texas have decided that we might just >> take matters into our own hands. >> >> First, a little history lesson. It's our independent nature >> to point out the people who enjoy the Texas Lifestyle have the right >> to secede and form our own country (it was in the agreement that >> annexed Texas as a state), whenever the people of Texas choose to do >> so. Some other states also have this right. The difference is, Texas >> has actually pulled that trigger before. >> >> Yes, Texas was an Independent Republic before it became a state and >> can secede. Nothing inherently prohibits that from taking place. >> >> Let's get this straight. John McCain, a real American hero, carried >> Texas by over a million votes. Texans can still smell the fires of >> the Twin Towers . We would also honor President Bush. George Bush >> simply did what any Real Texan would do and that is to go try his best >> to annihilate anyone who was responsible for attacking us. We don't >> fault him for that. We applaud that sort of behavior. It's Texas >> politics, Texas style. >> >> We're ready to secede. >> >> Don't get me wrong. We like ya'll — We just don't want to be like >> ya'll.. >> >> #1: Barak Obama becomes President of the United States (all the other >> 49 states). >> >> #2: Ross Perot becomes the next President of the Republic of Texas and >> invites John McCain to be an honorary Texan. We honor our heroes in >> Texas and honor their service. McCain is welcome here and he can be >> Secretary of the Texas Navy. Native Texan George Foreman will be >> Secretary of Defense. After >> that is all said and done, we wish Mr. Obama well. We really do. >> >> #3. We expect one of Perot's first acts as President of the Republic >> will be to tear down the border wall and erect a 10' wall around >> Austin to keep the "Austin Weird" folks in and away from the rest of >> us. If they will >> just pipe their Texas music out over the wall, it will keep the rest >> of us happy. (Just kidding my Austin relatives on that one.) >> #4. Willie will be Secretary of Agriculture and music. Wonder what he >> will grow? >> >> So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic? Here's a few >> things to be aware of. Texas is the 11th largest economy on the >> planet. We are bigger than Spain and right behind Great Britain. We >> are also >> bigger than Russia . We are an economic force to be reckoned with. We >> have a constitutional amendment to balance our budget….and we do it >> (are you listening California?). We also have a multi-billion dollar >> budget surplus this year. We are so big, we have our own >> power grid. Yes, that's true.. >> What else? >> NASA is in Houston . (we will control the space industry). >> We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States. >> Defense Industry? We have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with >> Texas," will take on a whole new >> meaning. >> Oil - we can supply all the oil the Republic of Texas will need for >> the next 300 years. Obama states? Sorry about that. >> >> As David Werst said, "We like ya'll, we just don't want to be like >> ya'll." You can buy oil (pronounced like ya'll) from us instead of >> terrorist countries that hate you. We will love you for paying so much >> to us instead of Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, Kuwait and others. >> >> You don't want to 'drill baby drill' or put up with those >> nasty oil wells? Well, we do and we know how to do it without >> polluting the land, air, and sea. BTW-We have our own ports and >> shipping lanes. We're also not >> "waiting on our FEMA check" to rebuild Galveston . We are doing it >> right now as we speak. >> Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and again, it's just too bad >> about you blue Obama states who don't want drilling. We've been >> driving around with those big tanks in the backs of our pickups for >> years now. We'll switch over to compressed natural gas. Obama will >> figure a way to keep ya'll warm….according to your need. Or, you could >> use ocean waves, or make friends >> with Hugo Chavez or what's his name in Iran . >> >> Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in >> producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas >> Instruments, Dell, EDS, Raytheon, Motorola, Intel, Austin Technology >> Centers, etc., etc. The list goes on and on. >> Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for cancer >> research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, >> and other large health centers. >> We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, >> Texas State University, Rice, SMU, TCU, University of Houston, Baylor, >> UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south >> anyway. By the way, we play some pretty good football and baseball at >> those schools. >> We have a ready supply of workers (just open the >> border when we need some more). >> >> But, we won't have an illegal immigration problem. Former Texas >> Governor candidate Kinky Friedman solved that. He proposed we pay 5 >> Mexican generals a million a year to control illegal immigration-folks >> coming >> from Mexico to Texas illegally. For every illegal that slips through, >> we deduct $10,000. Wonder how many will get across the border into >> Texas? We won't need a >> Border Patrol. >> >> We like tourism. Come stay a while. Enjoy a Cowboys game or go to Six >> Flags over Texas ….then go home. We don't need any more Californians >> or New Yorkers coming here and messing things up. Or, they could live >> in Austin where we can keep an eye on 'em. >> >> We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc. In >> case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the >> Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody >> down here is heavily armed and has at least six rifles and a pile of >> ammo, we can raise an army in 6 hours if we need it. That's the Texas >> way. When the tower sniper started shooting in Austin a few years >> back, citizens piled out of their cars and pickups and started >> returning fire within 2 minutes. Our citizens are >> licensed to carry handguns on their person. >> >> We have a saying down here: "If you mess with the bull, you're gonna >> get the horn." And an even more remarkable finding from the past…. >> Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Bush: 0.1 of >> one percent. >> Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Gore: 13.2. >> In Texas, even some of our school teachers carry guns. We won't >> surrender our kids to nuts and terrorists without a fight. Don't even >> think about messing with us. >> If you want the sticker, click on it… >> >> If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the >> Texas DPS and ask them to send over a couple of Texas Rangers. >> We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and vegetable >> produce and everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they >> taste good. Don't need any food. >> >> Arts? Bob Wills is still the king, but we also like >> different types of music, Country….and….Western. We even have our own >> beer. Lone Star, The National Beer of Texas . This just names a few of >> the items that will >> keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out >> there that we need and don't have. Just keep on reading David Werst's >> Real Texas Blog for more >> details on how to be a Real Texan. >> >> Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: >> Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, We'll >> sell you gas too. We'll call the gas company Texasco or something like >> that. Happy to do it. >> You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your >> communications or ask you to pay for the signal. It will be Texas >> Direct TV. Hank Jr. will move here and be in charge of programming >> >> Did you know we don't even have an income tax? >> >> We have all we need here in God's country and like I've already said, >> if we don't have it, we don't need it. We will have cheap, plentiful >> energy. The new Texas Secretary of Energy, T. Boone Pickens will be >> putting up thousands of wind generators all over the west Texas plains >> and since everybody else thinks Texas is full of hot air, we might as >> well take advantage >> of it. >> >> Good luck. Ya'll are gonna need it. >> Signed, The People of Real Texas >> *~@):~{> >> >> >> -- *~@):~{> --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. 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