From: Chuck Shepherd
Date: Sun, Jul 19, 2009 at 4:51 PM
Subject: News of the Weird, July 19, 2009
WEIRDNUZ.M119 (News of the Weird, July 19, 2009)
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Scientology trains its leaders a good deal more aggressively than
other religions do, judging by the revelations by four former
Church officials, to the St. Petersburg Times in June. In an
exercise concocted by founder L. Ron Hubbard, leaders who screw
up are taken out to sea and forced off a gangplank with the
admonition, "We commit your sins and errors to the deep and trust
you will rise a better Thetan [immortal spiritual being]." The
rituals can also take place in a cold swimming pool, with the
transgressors in business suits. Also, to test leaders' commitment,
the head Scientologist, with a boombox, conducts games of
musical chairs to reward the last man sitting (using the music of
Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody": "Is this the real life? / Is this just
fantasy? / Caught in a landslide / No escape from reality"). [St.
Petersburg Times, 6-23-09]
Cultural Diversity
* The nomadic Vadi tribe, in the Indian state of Gujarat, continues
to be adept at flouting the country's 18-year-old ban on snake-
charming. Historically, the Vadi have taught their children
beginning at age two to be at peace with cobras, through affection
and respect. According to a June dispatch in London's Daily
Telegraph, male children practice the iconic flute routines, and
females provide hands-on care and feeding. The cobras are not de-
fanged (which would be disrespectful), but each is fed an herbal
solution that supposedly neutralizes the venom, and is released
back into the wild after a few months' service. [Daily Telegraph, 6-
10-09]
Questionable Judgments
* A June Government Accountability Office report revealed that
people on the U.S.'s suspected-terrorist list tried to buy guns or
explosives on at least 1,000 occasions in the last five years and
were successful 90 percent of the time. One suspect managed to
buy 50 pounds of explosives. Federal law treats the suspected-
terrorist list as "no-fly" and "no-visa" but not "no-gun." [New York
Times, 6-21-09]
* "Pop" is a two-and-a-half-year-old Swedish kid whose "gender"
is unknown to everyone, including Pop. "It" will be counseled that
people do not have identical apparatus between their legs, but Pop's
folks told the newspaper Svenska Dagbladet in June that they
intend to ignore all cultural characteristics of "boys" and "girls" in
raising Pop. To the parents, "gender" is a social construct, and Pop
will someday decide which roles seem appropriate. [The Local
(Stockholm), 6-23-09]
* The normal way that the U.S. Bureau of Prisons transfers "low-
risk" inmates between institutions is to buy them bus tickets and
release them unescorted, with an arrival deadline. In the last three
years, reported the Las Vegas Sun in May, 90,000 inmates were
transferred this way, and only about 180 absconded. Though
supposedly carefully pre-screened for risk, one man still on the
loose is Dwayne Fitzen, a gang-member/biker who was halfway
through a 24-year sentence for cocaine-dealing. (Since the
traveling inmates are never identified as prisoners, Greyhound is
especially alarmed at the policy.) [San Jose Mercury News-Las
Vegas Sun, 5-23-09]
Latest Religious Messages
* The Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Prayer order in La Crosse,
Wis., is now in its 131st consecutive year of around-the-clock
prayer, in shifts, at its Adoration Chapel. The Sisters' ritual is
based on an 1865 promise by the order's superior that if God
graced their ministries with success, they would build a chapel and
pray non-stop. [Journal Sentinel (Milwaukee), 5-6-09]
* Ms. Dyker Neyland is one of the few parents who have
successfully challenged a school board's restrictive student dress
code for adolescents. Neyland persuaded the board in Irving, Tex.,
this spring that devout religious modesty (as prescribed in the Bible
by 1 Timothy 2:9) should take precedence over the district's no-
untucked-shirttails rule, in that the extended shirttail provides
additional cover for her 7-year-old daughter's backside. [Dallas
Morning News, 4-22-09]
Smooth Reactions
* Crisis Intervention: A certain bridge in Ghangzhou, China, has
become popular for suicide (12 attempts in a 45-day period in
April and May), and with each incident, traffic is slowed or halted
for hours while crews attempt to talk the distraught person down or
perform rescues. Mr. "Chen" was on the ledge in May, according
to an Agence France-Presse dispatch, but he couldn't make up his
mind about jumping. One frustrated motorist, Lai Jiansheng,
ended the suspense by walking up to Chen and pushing him off.
Chen survived, and Lai was arrested. [Agence France-Presse, 5-23-
09]
News That Sounds Like a Joke
* (1) In May, police in Winder, Ga. (pop. 10,200), arrested a
marijuana seller with a quite-low-tech delivery system. A wireless
doorbell was hidden on a tree in woods alongside a house, and
when the buzzer sounded, a bucket was lowered from a
second-story window. The buyer put money in; the bucket was
raised; and the dope would be sent back down. (2) A former
Australian state deputy premier revealed in June that the federal
government had so far paid out 67,000 compensation claims
regarding the February brush fires, though only 2,000 homes were
damaged. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution-AP, 5-29-09] [Australian
Broadcasting Corporation News, 6-4-09]
People With Issues
* Lawyer Larry Wilder, who works part-time as City Attorney for
Jeffersonville, Ind., was found by police in the early morning hours
of June 3rd, sleeping off an apparently heavy night of drinking. He
was discovered in a neighbor's yard, his head and torso inside a
garbage can that was tipped over on its side, with his legs sticking
out. He had recently represented the city in a high profile case in
the Indiana Court of Appeals. [News and Tribune (Jeffersonville),
6-18-09]
Least Competent Criminals
* (1) Kendrick Pitts, 20, and his brother Marquise, 19, were
arrested in May in the ladies' room of a small office building in
Fort Lauderdale, Fla., where they were hiding in stalls after being
chased by police investigating a stolen truck. Their ruse failed
when they tried, using falsetto voices, to persuade the cops that the
only people present were women. (2) WCBS-TV (New York City)
reported (illustrated with the store's surveillance video) the
unsuccessful robbery of Mohammed Sohail's deli in Shirley, N.Y.,
in June, in which Sohail surprised the perp with a shotgun.
Suddenly, as Sohail recounted, the robber dropped to his knees,
crying and begging. When the robber spontaneously even offered
to convert to Islam on the spot, Sohail tossed $40 at him and sent
him on his way. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 5-5-09] [WCBS-TV
(New York City), 6-4-09]
Recurring Themes
* (1) In June in Xianyang, in China's Shaanxi province, a family
hired a service for the equivalent of $4,400 to dig up a female
corpse for their recently deceased son to "marry." It's the latest
incidence of trying to overcome a centuries-old curse that forecasts
a bad afterlife for men who die unmarried. (2) In shootings in May
(in Rodeo de Medio, Argentina) and April (Salvador, Brazil),
victims of chest wounds survived when robbers' bullets were
partially deflected. According to Agence France-Presse dispatches,
the Argentine man was an evangelical pastor who was holding a
psalm book to his chest, and the Brazilian woman was protected by
a wad of cash stuffed in her bra. [Daily Telegraph (London), 6-15-
09] [Agence France-Presse, 4-13-09, 5-28-09]
A News of the Weird Classic (January 2002)
* Transsexual Tammy Lynn Felbaum (formerly Tommy Wyda),
43, was found guilty in December 2001 of manslaughter in the
February death of her sixth husband, James Felbaum, from a
botched castration. Tammy initially said James castrated himself,
then admitted she did it but only at James's written request. The
Butler County, Pa., judge reached his decision based on evidence
that Tammy had pressured James into the removal as punishment
for James's recent affair, and on testimony from one of Tammy's
earlier spouses, Lynn (formerly Tim) Barner, who let Tammy
castrate her (formerly him) because she was an "expert." Said
Barner, "[Tammy] could castrate a dog in less than five minutes."
Tammy was also known in the community for her career as a
stripper, specializing in crushing soda cans between her breasts.
[Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 12-15-01; Pittsburgh Tribune-Review,
12-12-01] .726 686
Thanks This Week to Peter Pantuso, Candy Clouston, Chris
Chiu, Daniel Urban, Jessica Binns, John Woodard, and John
Valentine, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial
Advisors.
* * * * *
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