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*BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT* **** **** *These are classified ads which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:**** * **** *FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.***** *8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES***** *1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.***** *________________________________________________***** *FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.***** *Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound..***** *_______________________________________________________***** *COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.***** __________________________*_________________________________***** *JOINING NUDIST COLONY!***** *Must sell washer and dryer £100.***** *_____________________________________________________________***** *WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .***** *Worn once by mistake.***** *Call Stephanie.***** *___________________________________________________________***** *And the WINNER is...***** **** *FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.**** * *Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.***** *No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.***** **** *____________________________________________________________***** **** *CHILDERN ARE QUICK***** **** *TEACHER: Why are you late?***** *STUDENT: Class started before I got here.***** *____________________________________***** *TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?**** * *JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.***** *__________________________________________***** *TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'**** * *TEACHER: No, that's wrong***** *GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.***** *(I Love this child)***** *____________________________________________***** *TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?***** *DONALD: H I J K L M N O.***** *TEACHER: What are you talking about?***** *DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.***** *__________________________________***** *TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.***** *WINNIE: Me!***** *__________________________________________***** *TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?***** *GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.***** *_______________________________________***** *TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '***** *MILLIE: I is..***** *TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'***** *MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'***** *________________________________***** *TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?***** *LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand......***** *______________________________________***** *TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?*** ** *SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.***** *______________________________***** *TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?***** *CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.***** **** *(I want to adopt this kid!!!)***** *___________________________________***** *TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?***** *HAROLD: A teacher***** *__________________________________***** **** *PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH***** **** *Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.***** **** **** **** **** __._,_.___ __,_._,___ -- -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more. --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "PoliticalForum" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.
