The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open. 
* Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL 

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. 
* Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL 

If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump 
here. Your asshole is in Washington. 
* Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington 

Beauty is only a light switch away. 
* Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina. 
These are actual signs found in restrooms around the U.S.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's 
all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. 
* Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C 

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" 
* Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia. 

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust? 
* The Irish Times, Washington, D.C. 

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of 
putting up with her shit. 
* Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North 
Carolina. 

To do is to be. -Descartes 
To be is to do. -Voltaire 
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra 
* Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, Arizona. 

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry. 
* Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona 

Make love, not war. - Hell, do both, get married! 

God is dead. -Nietzsche 
Nietzsche is dead. -God 
* The Tombs Restaurant, Washington, D.C. 

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. 
* Revolution Books, New York, New York 

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going 
to have trouble with it. 
* Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas. 

JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if He had invested? 
* Men's restroom, American University, Washington, D.C. 

Express Lane: Five beers or less 
* Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Phoenix,AZ. 

You're too good for him. 
* Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly 
Hills, CA. 

No wonder you always go home alone. 
* Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly 
Hills, CA. 

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