Love in the Eighties
I was working part time in a five and dime. My boss was Mr. Magee.
He was six foot four and full of muscles and walked like an Egyptian, but I
was happy to be stuck with him. One manic Monday, while I was busy working
for the weekend, I overheard him make a careless whisper. He told two of my
co-workers, Jack and Diane, that I gave love a bad name. Well, I got so
emotional, baby. I told him to say say say what he wants, but don't play
games with my affection. He told me it was hard for him to say he's sorry
and not to worry, to be happy. Then he blamed it on the rain. He was so out
of touch. It just took my breath away. I couldn't fight this feeling any
longer. I asked him "What's love got to do with it?" He told me to get outta
his store and his dreams and into my car. So I figured I might as well jump.
I cut footloose, went home and called my girl, Jenny. (You already know, the
number) She was on the other line with Amanda. They were talking about
Mickey and how he was so fine. That blew my mind! Was she really going out
with him? I told her that I had just called to say I love her. She told me
she had been saving all her love for me, but now she was looking for a new
love asta la vista, baby. I thought, "I can't go for that - no can do! Bring
me a higher love!"
I called up some of my old West End girls, hoping that one of them
would want to get physical all night long (all night). First I called Billie
Jean she told me to beat it. I called Rosanna - her sister Christian blessed
the rains down in Africa and then hung up on me. Come on, Eileen! ... no
answer. Nobody told me there'd be days like these! I was feeling like the
owner of a lonely heart. Then, out of the blue, my best friend's girlfriend
(she used to be mine) Roxanne calls. Yes, the real Roxanne. She told me she
still hadn't found what she's looking for and that she wanted to take on me.
I said, "I thought you were Jessie's girl." She said "Don't you want me? You
don't have to put on the red light - I'm on my own." What a feeling! I had
the eye of the tiger. Who was I f-f-f-foolin? Roxanne drove me crazy like no
one else. She's a beauty! She blinded me with science, and weird science at
that. There was always something there to remind me of her and I just knew
that I'd have the time of my life. I wasn't about to la-di-da-di.
I jumped in my little red Corvette and rocked down to Electric
Avenue. I got my mind set on her. When I got to her house (in the middle of
her street) I ran. I rapped on her front door and to this rapper's delight,
I heard a voice say, "Who can it be now?" "Here I am, the one that you
love", I replied. I let my love open the door and was immediately lost in
her eyes. I felt like a virgin touched for the very first time. She loosened
her blouse and said, "Rock me Amadeus!" Well, I felt it was my prerogative
to bust a move. I told her "I'll tumble for ya!" as I pinned her on the
stairs, hungry like the wolf. Just then I felt an invisible touch on my
shoulder. "Turn around bright eyes!" said a familiar voice. As I did, Jessie
hit me with a sledgehammer of an uppercut that spun me right round like a
record. He was hangin' tough and continued to roll with it, knocking the
wind from beneath my wings--broken wings by this time. He rocked me tonight,
for old time's sake, beating me from head to toe, until my true colors were
black and blue and blood was spilling from my mouth like red, red wine. "You
don't owe me money for nothing!" he snarled. At this point I was livin' on a
prayer. I crawled back to my little red Corvette and drove home thinking
about how my tainted love had cut like a knife - how it seems that every
rose has its thorns.Truly, Love stinks.
