"English girl" A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you? The husband laughed and said: An English girl! The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip? The wife: Very good, thank you. The husband: And, what happened to my present? The wife: Which present? The husband: What I asked for : the English girl? The wife : Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see with UltraSonoGrafia if its a girl
Nugroho Dewanto <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: A DOG CALLED SEX Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!" One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog." At 08:07 PM 11/27/2006, you wrote: >Syair Yang diambil dari Pupuh III :38 dan 41 ditulis oleh Syekh Siti >Jenar, dalam buku Makna "Kematian" oleh Achmad Chodjim hal 196 >tentang PENOLAKAN SYARIAT. > > >P E N O L A K A N S Y A R I A T > >Sadat salat pasa tan apti, >Seje jakat kaji mring Mekah, >Iku wus palson kabeh, >Nora kena ginugu, >Sadayeku durjaning bumi, >Ngapusi liyan titah, >Sinung swarga besok, Wong bodho anut aliya, >Tur nyatane pada bae durung uning, >Seje ingsun Lemahbang. > > >Yeka ingkang den anggep Hyang Widi, >Seh Lemahbang darmastuteng karsa, >Sumarah ing Hyang dhawuhe, >Tekad jabriyah kagulung, >Kadariyah wimbaning lahir, >Madhep mantep tur panggah, >Kuwat ing pangangkah, >Kukuh kasmala nirmala, >Ngantepi urip prapteng layu yakin, >Tan mangeran bidi cipta. > > >Syair Pupuh ini ada di "Serat Seh Siti Jenar" > >Sedikit kupasan oleh penulis Achmad Chodjim sbb. : >"Sadat, salat, pasa tan apti" diterjemahkan "Syahadat, salat dan >puasa tidak diinginkan" > >Pada Baris ketiga artinya : "Semuanya palsu belaka" >Atau "Semuanya omong kosong". > >Apa yang bisa diungkap dari penerjemahan tersebut ? Siti Jenar >menolah Syari-at, dan >Syariat dianggap sebagai omong kosong atau palsu belaka............... >........dst...dst..... > > >Syekh Siti Jenar mengatakan : Dia menolak syariat dari Arab, >mengapa? Karena bentuk syariat ibarat warna dan bentuk baju, >warnanya tergantung selera dan budaya orang yg memakai. Bentuknya >tergantung kondisi geografi dan iklim dari tumbuhnya budaya dan >agama !!! Halaman 210 dalam Makna "Kematian" > >Bahkan Siti Jenatr mengatakan bahwa kelima rukun Islam itu sudah >berubah maknanya dalam hidup ini. Semuanya menjadi formalitas >belaka.Tak ada manfaat yg didapat orang Jawa dalam menjalankan >syariat yg lima itu. Semunya tidak bisa dituruti dan dipegangi..... >.......................Akhirnya syariat menjadi tanpa makna. > >Dikatakan dalam Q.S> al-Ma-un (107) :4-7 ditafsirkan bahwa : >Pelaksanaan salat bukanlah sebuah tujuan dalam hidup ini. Salat >merupakan etika dalam kehidupan beragama. Makna dan tujuan di balik >pelaksanaan salat itu yg tidak boleh diabaikan. Justru salat >merupakan hal yg mencelakakan manusia bila hanya dikerjakan sebagai >pemenuhan formalitas, tak memberikan manfaat bagi orang2 yg menderita. >....................bacalah sendiri seru, menarik, tegang dan penuh >kata2 "Mencengangkan" > >Contoh hukuman syariat, Klik saja..................Turn on your speaker ! >Islamic Cutting of Hands and Feet ><<http://apostatesofislam.com/media/video/handcutting_video_islam_200kbps.wmv>http://apostatesofislam.com/media/video/handcutting_video_islam_200kbps.wmv> >Right-click here! > >Islamic Stoning to Death ><<http://apostatesofislam.com/media/video/stoning_video_100kbps.wmv>http://apostatesofislam.com/media/video/stoning_video_100kbps.wmv> > >Right-click >Here! > >Wass Wr Wb > >Rudy Prabowo > >--------------------------------- >Want to start your own business? Learn how on Yahoo! Small Business. > >[Non-text portions of this message have been removed] > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] --------------------------------- Check out the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster. [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
