Thanks Rex for those "pearls of wisdom". Truly inspiring, and it's not even Friday yet. ;)
> "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a > fruit salad." > > I got this gem from an email full of Paraprosdokians. > > Para-what? you ask? > > A Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a > sentence or phrase is > surprising or > unexpected in a way that causes the reader, or listener to reframe or > reinterpret the first part. > > Here are some others: > > Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I > stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. > > Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and > beat you with experience. > > Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not > screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. > > Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing > in a garage makes you a car. > > Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. > > Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear > bright until you hear them speak. > > Ø If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. > > Ø We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. > > Ø War does not determine who is right -- only who is left. > > Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the > cheese. > > Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then > proceed to tell you why it isn't. > > Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is > research. > > Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train > stops. My desk is a work station. > > Ø I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paycheques > > Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an > emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR." > > Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. > > Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion > stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? > > Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street > with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy. > > Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a > successful man is usually another woman. > > Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. > > Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to > skydive twice. > > Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way > that you will look forward to the trip > > Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if > you wish they were. > > Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. > > Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. > > Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire > Department usually uses water. > > Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid. > > Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. > > Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. > > > Cheers > > Rex > > > --- > You are currently subscribed to qsiteict as: > [email protected]. > To unsubscribe click here: > http://lyris.edna.edu.au/u?id=810250.fd5add10365cc1f6791aee65c38ae615&n=T&l=qsiteict&o=1927349 > or send a blank email to > leave-1927349-810250.fd5add10365cc1f6791aee65c38ae...@edna.edu.au > -- Pia Orr (BEd., Cert III in IT) Teacher --- You are currently subscribed to qsiteict as: [email protected]. To unsubscribe click here: http://lyris.edna.edu.au/u?id=705742.d42ea647e85be3beb25392eea1a77f09&n=T&l=qsiteict&o=1927386 or send a blank email to leave-1927386-705742.d42ea647e85be3beb25392eea1a77...@edna.edu.au
