Thank you Ron. I don't know why I chose to write that entire long long e-mail. I guess because it affected me so greatly. We practically had to move out of our dwelling and had to get rid of so many things that we have had to replace.
WARNING: Another long e-mail and pardon any typos. My next worry is that of losing him what I get up for every day now which is my Golden (Retriever) daughter who is now 10 years old. for those of you dog lovers out there (or pet owners of any kind) you can understand the love and connection that is created with the most devoted mammal on earth. She is my US certified support/companion dog but so much more than that since losing her daddy. Now I have no one to share that loss with and she has become the most loving and devotional and perceptive and intuitive dogs I have ever had and she stays buying me 24/7. I have had dogs ever since I was a baby except for certain years that I did not have one for one reason or another (like between the ages of 12 and 15 when my accident happened at age 15 and after my accident. Then it was some role years before I met my now ex-common-law husband and I adopted 2 wonderful black labs. We adopted one in 1990 and the other in 1992. The first one was a puppy (eight weeks) and the second one was only three months old. Prior to my accent all my dogs had to be outdoor dogs (but I spent as much time with them outside) because dog dander gave me a bad asthma attack. I could not even go in people's homes if they had a dog or cat even if they removed them and vacuumed first. Strangely, when my ex-common-law husband and I adopted our first black lab we thought she was going to have to be an outdoor dog but we brought her indoors one October evening and my ex-common-law husband was romping with her and our big living room area and I could feel my lungs filling up. I took the liquid medicine I always had on hand since I was a kid but that did not help. Getting outside in the fresh crisp air did not help either. We finally ended up calling the local ambulance and fire Co. (this was before 911) who came over and put an oxygen mask over my face that I could hardly breathe and was trying to push it away because I thought I was a goner but it worked! I went to my physician not long after this happened and he told me what a lot of people do when they do not want to part with their pets and he gave me an inhaler with a "chamber" so I could breathe and normally without having to "inhale directly" from the inhaler. Because of my asthma I was never able to inhale anything. In other words, when I was at a party with a bunch of my high school friends as they were passing around a joint and since I could not inhale I just faked it as if it was. Anyway, after I started using the chamber I almost immediately got over being allergic to dog dander. So ever since then I have always had indoor dogs (and ones that shed greatly) without needing the inhaler and chamber! I still keep it on hand for a variety of other reasons but my point is that it was the first opportunity I had to enjoy a dog as a family member inside my home. And they are no less than a family member. I hate hindsight but about 5 months ago I stopped giving her LARGE dental chews because she was having such a hard time with them. Bad move! I got her smaller ones but that led to a build up of Periodontal Disease (bad tartar on her back teeth and gums) and my veterinarians suggest having that removed which entails putting her under anesthesia and removing it. But first I want to get the blood results from those that were taken today. It was around 3 weeks ago that I "thought" that she might be drinking more water than ever before even though my caregiver (who has to fill her bowl) disagrees. So today I was just going down to get her vaccinated for her booster shot (a.k.a. parvovirus shot) but I should mention about my feelings she was drinking more than usual despite my large bedroom being the warmest room in my house (apartment) because I get all of the afternoon sun and my computer (my means of entertainment because I have so many hobbies I can do 100% independently amongst e-mails and using Quicken to keep on top of my bills, etc. etc. etc.) which emanates heat since it is such a large set up (2 30 inch monitors and a surroundsound using Logitech speakers and the large CPU itself). This blood work which is called "Geriatric Screening" which tests for diabetes, liver problems, kidney problems or Cushing's disease. I don't know why life has to be so short for dogs and especially larger dogs. Larger dogs are usually chosen as service dogs (like Golden and Labrador retrievers) but they are also more prone to getting cancer. My husband and I adopted our first dog together 3-4 years after our marriage and it happened to be a golden retriever who was already around three or four years old [we don't exactly know] and she was diagnosed with Mast Cell Cancer Grade 3 (the worst of cancer for human or animal) and we thought we would not have for more than a few years but she was able to live as though nothing was wrong for an entire year afterwards before we lost her to this terrible disease. So many people are dying from cancer lately. Or getting cancer. I was talking to my one sister today and she said she was trying to call her hairdresser to get an appointment but she had to leave a message. When the lady got back to her she told my sister that her 35-year-old daughter had just passed away from breast cancer. She was born with a certain gene that made her prone to it. This hairdresser's has another daughter (age 30) who was also diagnosed with breast cancer but is doing okay for right now. Her third daughter was not born with the gene. My eldest sister (I only have two sisters) and the one I was living with was diagnosed this past summer with stage I breast cancer. Her son-in-law was diagnosed with colon cancer when I was living nearby them and, at that time, he was only 49 years old. They caught it in time but he had to have a colostomy for the rest of his life. Now, next Tuesday I have to go to my new urologist because of what that nurse did to my urethra just two weeks after moving here and which ruined my life in so many ways since then. The spontaneous leakage finally got to my skin (buttocks) and scalded them badly causing me to be in bed for 2 1/2 months because getting up only made it worse. Vaseline came to my rescue after trying so many other things like Desitin, etc. It (the stretched urethra) has also opened the window of opportunity for bacteria to crawl up in there and since the second week of October with me having severe bladder pain and flank pain I was diagnosed with a couple of different symptomatic UTIs. Not to mention that soon after moving back here my lower extremity edema exacerbated 90% for no reason other than gravity. But it wasn't like that when there was more humidity in Pennsylvania or living here in southern Arizona for 11 years before losing my husband. I know would not put it past stress to be the cause of it. No one would believe all I have been true since moving here from two horrible physicians to home health agencies not wanting to take me on to everything else. I never thought I would have seizures in my life but after the trauma of losing my husband I had my first seizure and I thought it was just a one time thing but it continued after having a day full of stress. I then found out that I had a certain type of seizure and I may have mentioned this before but they are called "Psychogenic NON-epileptic Seizures." I know that losing my Golden (Retriever) daughter is going to hit me hard since she has been with me through her daddy's death and through my sister and brother-in-law's wanting me to "move on" which I still think was very wrong. After all, I was hiring home health aides in the morning and evening 7 days a week and had a great home health agency. My one caregiver looked at me one evening when she was undressing me saying "They abandoning, you know." I just nodded to confirm it. My husband would never have left me and in the year 2007 when revealing the help from that sister and got pretty much slapped in the face for her not helping... he could see right through her. If my parents or grandparents were still alive they would not have done this to me. My husband had character and they certainly do not. Well, just sending this out into the cosmic void and to all of you and I hope all of you do not even have to go through a fraction of all I have gone through since June 2012 when I lost my husband and one day having everything I need or want to and the next day losing it which included having to have an estate sale and therefore getting rid of everything so I could move in with my sister and brother-in-law. If I wasn't under so much stress (without formally realizing it) right after my husband died I would have put so much more in storage because I have had to purchase all the basics all over again and we had so much. Sure "things" are only "things" in the long run but we enjoyed everything we had and purchased since our marriage and he had plenty of things from 30 years before our marriage that became "ours." So they really *did *have much more meaning than just "things" with so many of them either being gifts to each other or enjoying this or that. Thanks for listening! Writing one's thoughts down is a civilized way to scream. ~Lori On Mon, Nov 21, 2016 at 6:15 PM, RONALD L PRACHT <[email protected]> wrote: > I wanted to thank you Lori for that long , vivid story you told. Over the > years I have enjoyed your brutal honesty in your posts. I think when your a > quad you see things in more detail and very different from the average > person. Im glad you are doing a lot better than you were awhile ago. You > proved a lot to yourself being able to get your strength back up after the > loss of your man. Many people couldn't have made it after that hit and > would have laid down. > > Ron > > > On Monday, November 21, 2016 2:12 PM, greg <[email protected]> wrote: > > > I often put about 6 miles on a walk, a much as 10. Though haven't as much > lately. My batteries are just not holding a charge long enough. Just last > month I got new batteries, yet after 3 miles, I'm barely moving. They are > coming out in 2 weeks to check it out. In order to get the batteries > exchanged, they have to check if something is causing this. Charger says > its full, chair meter says full. Chair is very old, I just started the new > chair process. > Greg > > > > What area in Arizona? How many miles do you put in on a nice > > day..........tell about your adventure! > > > > > > On Friday, November 18, 2016 6:15 PM, greg <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > This is sunburn season here in AZ. Finely cooled off enough to > > spend the day in the sun. I spent the day just cruising around. Now > > my face is burning red, flushed, tight, nose itches. Gonna hurt > > tomorrow. > > > > Greg > > > -- "Petting, scratching and cuddling a dog could be soothing to the mind and heart and deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer." ~Dean Koontz
