This was hilarious, and timely! I really needed to see first thing today. Thanks!
Daryle On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:08:48 -0500, Tracey de Morsella (formerly Tracey L. Minor) <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > February 26, 2008 > Cash-rich Obama Buys Yahoo > > > Outbids Microsoft for Internet Giant > > > Flush with cash after a deluge of online donations, Sen. Barack Obama > (D-Ill) stunned the business world today by outbidding Microsoft for the > Internet giant Yahoo. > > The purchase of Yahoo is believed to be the largest acquisition of a > multibillion-dollar company ever by a Democratic presidential candidate, > industry experts said. > > A spokesman for Microsoft at the company’s Redmond, Washington > headquarters acknowledged that the company was “disappointed” to lose > Yahoo to Sen. Obama, but added, “We can’t really be mad at him, because > we love him so.” > > The news of Sen. Obama’s $48 billion offer for Yahoo sent a shudder > through Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY)’s campaign, which for the past six > weeks has been subsisting on Ramen noodles. > > In his televised debate in Cleveland, Ohio with Sen. Clinton, Sen. Obama > said that he was able to purchase Yahoo because his campaign was reaping > online donations averaging $1.8 billion a day. > > Mr. Obama also offered to “personally hire” 2 million Ohioans to do odd > jobs around his campaign headquarters. > > “People say, can we really come up with enough errands for 2 million > Ohioans to do?” he said. “Yes we can.” > > Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick praised Sen. Obama’s plan, telling > reporters, “His campaign is more than just words, he is offering people > a real opportunity to go on a Starbucks run.” > > Sen. Obama later added, “My campaign is more than just words, I am > offering people a real opportunity to go on a Starbucks run.” > > Elsewhere, President Bush said that the economy was not in a recession, > leading economists to conclude that the economy was in a recession. > > > www.borowitzreport.com > > Waste Someone's Time: Forward to a Friend: > http://email.borowitzreport.com/cgi-bin/redir?MCid=fkiSOeXPuK10403ecd0a&[EMAIL > PROTECTED]&rec=6838 > > > Sign up today for your own Borowitz Reports, click the link below or > paste it into your browser. > > http://email.borowitzreport.com/cgi-bin/redir?MCid=g60OCB3xnU10403ecd0a > > > > > ***Andy in Montreal – April 8*** > > Andy makes his first-ever appearance in Canada on Tuesday, April 8 at > the Jewish Public Library in Montreal. 7:30 PM, 5151 Côte Ste-Catherine; > admission free. > > > > ***Andy’s Only West Coast Appearance – April 24*** > > Andy makes his only scheduled West Coast appearance Thursday, April 24 > at University of California, Santa Barbara. 8 PM at Campbell Hall. > Tickets available at > http://email.borowitzreport.com/cgi-bin/redir?MCid=Ur67PKxchs10403ecd0a > > > > ***Andy with Susie Essman and Jeffrey Toobin – May 13*** > > Andy hosts "Countdown to '08" on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM at the 92nd St. > Y with his special guests Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and > Jeffrey Toobin (CNN, bestselling author of The Nine). The Y is located > at 92nd St. and Lexington Avenue. For tickets, go to www.92y.org. > > - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - > You may unsubscribe from this list by visiting the following URL in your > browser: > http://list-manage.com/unsub.phtml?id=HmqZiLlHVYc10403ecd0a > >
