--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Alex Stanley"
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Bhairitu wrote:
> [snip]
> > Perusing topics someone might as what does my recent topic on
> > Janene Garafalo joinng the "24" cast have anything to do with
> > TM? It doesn't but we've discussed "24" here because some folks
> > here are "24" fans and will find it quirky that the very outspoken
> > liberal former Air America Radio co-host and SNL alumni is joining
> > a show produced by a bunch of righties. I guess that might get me
> > to tune in once again even though the series has become so
> > ridiculous that it plays like a 1930's Saturday matinée serial.
> > I've even considered that they might start letting the cast
> > improvise rather than follow a badly written script in need of a
> > couple more re-writes. That might be a vast improvement.
>
> The last season of 24 sucked so mightily that I swore I wouldn't
> watch this season. But, chances are, I'll watch.
>
> What I'd like to know is who would win in a battle between Jack
> Bauer and Chuck Norris. Would there even be a winner? Or would
> all all of creation simply vaporize in a flash of light as the
> two entities meet?
I can speak to this with some authority. I was
once face to face in a karate contest with Chuck
Norris. Bauer is toast.
It was a small martial arts contest in Southern
California, and they had a low turnout among
participants, not enough to warrant separate
brown belt and black belt competitions. So they
threw us all our names in a big hat and matched
us up with whoever came out, black belt or
brown belt.
I was a lowly brown belt, and in my first match I
drew a black belt from the competing school in our
neighboring city, and I whupped his ass. I was *bad*.
And so when, in my next match I discovered that I'd
drawn another black belt, I was still thinkin' *bad*.
"Black belt, schmack belt...I whupped one of them...
bring the rest of them ON." And then the black belt
smiled at me as he bowed, and suddenly my feelings
of *bad*ness began to fade.
The fight lasted about four seconds. I glided out
onto the mat with my *bad* face on, and the black
belt just smiled again and did something I never
even saw, and the judges were holding up their
flags. It was over. I bowed sheepishly and walked
back to the bench, having learned an important
lesson about *bad* and how ephemeral it is.
He wasn't Chuck Norris the movie star then. He was
on his way to (I think) his first World Karate
Championship. I was later told that it was one of
his famous double back kicks that I never saw, but
whatever it was, it did the trick.
And it would do the trick on Jack Bauer, too.