g_b Chicago Pride march has a desi angle

[Manoj]

So Chicago had its Pride march today like each year.
I thought i should dress a bit more sober --- i was gonna take the train ride 
into the city afterall.
But surprise--- the train looked like just out of a gay bar and no one had to 
be really closeted. Wearing a rainbow bra or a leather vest was as common as 
the daily morning suit to the workplace.
 
250 odd floats, thousands of people in the march and more cheering us on the 
sides.
But Chicagoans were up for a surprise --- one of the floats was blaring music 
they had not heard before i am sure.
It was Sheila and Munni and Dhak dhak --  Bollywood !! 
 
Trikone marched under its banner for the first time and for more than 2 hours 
we were dancing and playing all Desi music.
The few choreographed steps got huge appreciation from the onlookers --- one as 
they liked the music (no one can dislike appadi pode !  ) , and two as they 
could see us much more knitted and together than many others.
 
The hard work and the very concept to have this .. paid off as people 
cheered, and some even came and danced with us irrespective of not 
understanding a word.
We could see ppl point at us --"brown people" --- who were known to be IT nerds 
quietly going about their work till now, were also equally gay and lesbian and 
as much woven into the social fabric as others.
 
For me, having a group which speaks the same language as i do, where i can be 
myself more, share interests definitely helped to make me feel better than what 
the initial months in the country were trawlingbars and pubs and little else.
 
>From what i have interacted with the K and others, I am sure this is not where 
>Trikone will rest and i look forward to a lot more events happening.
 
For those of you who could/didnt make it --try it the next time and be sure you 
will love it :-)
 
Thanks Trikone for doing this and making it happen.
 
Cheers,
Manoj.

Re: g_b Gay Marriage - A Bittersweet Victory [CNN-Time] (reply)

[nirbokj]

ALL Orgainised religions depend upon more and more congregants from  
generation to generation to support their Temples and Priests.  Therefore  it 
is 
to their benefit that those who generally do not produce ongoing  congregants 
( in other words: gays and lesbians)  should be vilified and  condemned to 
some kind of Hell !!!
 
It's Just that simple.  It's a matter of dollars ( or rupies !!)
 
Gordon from Santa Fe

-
 
In a message dated 6/26/2011 12:38:06 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time,  
gaymanprou...@yahoo.co.in writes:

 
 
 
Here's an article from CNN-Time magazine published a  couple of days ago. 
In it the author argues that even though gay marriages are  legal (or will 
shortly be) in New York, for the author it's not the  same thing since 
"Marriage without a church or temple wedding isn't going  to be the real 
thing". 
How many of us  think that a gay wedding needs the sanction of religion? After 
all even  heterosexuals may decide to shrug off the religious rituals and 
settle for an  economically cheaper "court marriage".   


Check out also the numerous homophobic comments at the end of the  article. 
There are so many who argue that it's wrong to be gay because  "religion 
said so"! 


Let us say that you had the opportunity to  wed your partner in India or 
Nepal, would you insist on the "appropriate"  religious rituals?



Regards,
Deep
http://gaynotes.blogspot.com




Source: _http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2079861,00.html_ 
(http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2079861,00.html) 



Saturday, Jun. 25, 2011
Gay  Marriage: A Bittersweet Victory?
By Howard Chua-Eoan
I woke up this  morning to discover that, despite my best efforts, I was 
still only married to  my job. 
I had spent part  of the night in Greenwich Village with the crowds outside 
the Stonewall Inn  celebrating the legalization of same-sex marriage in New 
York state. I  proposed to several passersby but every single one laughed. 
The thumping of  "Y.M.C.A." on an adjacent boombox killed any possibility of 
romance. (Why is  that song always played at weddings?) 
I had wandered  down from a party about 10 blocks north, in Chelsea, one of 
New York City's  gay enclaves. The gathering at that apartment was slightly 
surreal. It  appeared to be familiar: handsome young men flirting with each 
other over  sweets and alcohol. But now they had a complex new dimension to 
navigate  through — albeit the kind of calculus that heterosexuals can do 
in their  sleep. Or when they sleep with each other. Or when they wake up and 
discover  who they have slept with. It's the possibility of marriage, 
lurking subtly  somewhere in one's head. Imagine all the  
psycho-sexual-financial-commercial-legal dramas that will emerge as that  
little formula weaves 
itself into the lives of gay New Yorkers. Soon, we can  have the kind of 
domestic life straight people have. One day, we may no longer  even be gay. 
Just 
the people next door. No more parades. 
Of course, that's  not going to happen soon. No matter that New York is the 
largest state of the  Union to hold that the union of a man and a man or a 
woman and a woman is  equal to that of a man and a woman. California, the 
largest state in the  Union, had that distinction for a few months before 
electoral and judicial jiu  jitsu tied marriage up in knots there. There are 44 
more states to go and a  rowdy presidential campaign season that is bound to 
roil a whole range of  political bases. And who knows if the legalization 
of gay marriage in New  York, because it is New York, will actually work 
against marriage equality  across the country. Could an exodus of gay people 
from the rest of the U.S. to  the Empire State sap the will (and pocketbooks) 
of campaigns to legalize  marriage in, say, Missouri or Minnesota or Kansas? 
Just saying. 
But in one very  important way, marriage will not quite be marriage even in 
New York, even 30  days from now when the law goes into effect. That is 
because the  psycho-sexual-financial-commercial-legal dramas that entangle the 
domestic  lives of straight people often have another component — religion. 
And  religious institutions have an exemption in the new law from 
accommodating gay  people. It was key to the passage of the legislation. 
Marriage without  a church or temple wedding isn't going to be the real 
thing. Why can some  people have all the bells and whistles in the church of 
their choice but not  me? Of course, there have been and will be congregations 
and churches that  allow gay men and lesbians to be married in their midst 
and to bless those  unions, recognizing that God loves them just as much as 
Governor Andrew Cuomo  does. But some rich and influential religious 
institutions are not only free  to continue to reject gay men and women as 
equal 
beneficiaries of all aspects  of faith but will now ral

Re: ??: Re: g_b circumsation plz help

[nirbokj]

It was so much easier ( being Jewish) when the Rabbi did the job when I was 
 only seven days old !!  I don't remember a thing...but my father nearly  
fainted !
 
Gordon from Santa Fe
---
 
 
In a message dated 6/26/2011 12:39:25 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time,  
sanjay_lulla2...@yahoo.com writes:

 
 
 
Dear Madca-o
U need to reffer to a General Surgeon and not any general  physician. U 
will be under local anesthesia so during the process u wont feel  it. The 
surgeon will prescribe anti bios n pain killers 4 subsequent  discomfort. Maybe 
u 
need to take it easy 4 one week or so. Now a days they use  self dissolving 
threads for stitching u up so within a month the stitches  shall go. Its 
not a big deal check with a clinic hospital near  u.
Cheers

كتب mad cow يوم السبت، 25 يونيو 2011 16:25  GST:

>Hi friends
>any one tell me here  which gay friendly doctor can do my circumsation 
of my  
>pennys forskin ? and how long it will take to get dried up is that  pain 
full ?
>and what medicene i should take after circumsation plz  advice me  .
>
> 
>--
>
>Sponsored  links: Rock Hard Erections. All New Formula Attacks the Root. 
Fast. 
>_http://alternatemedicinestore2010.com/ar/sig_ 
(http://alternatemedicinestore2010.com/ar/sig)   
>
>
>
>
>
>
>From:  dunno76 <_dunno76@yahoo.com_ (mailto:dunn...@yahoo.com) >
>To: _gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com_ (mailto:gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com) 
>Sent:  Fri, June 24, 2011 6:21:10 PM
>Subject: g_b when two become  one
>
>  
>You can click on the photo for the bigger  version.
>Each and everyone of you are special, unique and beautiful in  your own 
way!
> 
>Wall Photos
>
>
>When your  path crosses with another, both of you are positively  
transformed!
>
>
> 
>Wall  Photos
>
>
>When two become one and yet each with space to  grow.
> 
>Wall Photos

رد: Re: رد: Re: g_b Pls ban aditya from this site guys

[Sanjay Lulla]

I knew that tintin wld reply on my this mail, shld have bet my last cent on it.
Wo jan vishesh is samuday ka bhag nahin, warna unka pratirodh/nished awashy 
hota.
Har samlaingikta ke virodhi awrodhi se main apni seema mein lada hun. Unki 
bhratsna ke age ban chota sa him kan, jab bhi mila awsar, tainat khada hun. :-).
Ab jao bahar unka awrodh nishedh karo aur Aaditya ko baksho.

كتب Tintin Mumbai India يوم الأحد، 26 يونيو 2011 10:48 GST:

>Jaao Pahle Unko Ban karke aao jinhone gays ko neechi najaron se dekhna
>shuru kiya...
>Jaao pahle unko ban karke aao jinhone FIRE movie dikhaane waale
>theatres me todfod ki...
>...
>...
>...
>fir uske baad mere bhaai, tum jis jis ko ban karne ko kahoge, main ban
>kar doonga...
>
>On 6/25/11, Sanjay Lulla  wrote:
>> Please consider to ban and ignore those who lead a double life (appear str8
>> are married and have alternative ids, one 4 manhunt another 4 office fly
>> ROW), those 4 whon frndshp relationships(other than romantic ones) mean
>> nothing more than a penis/rectum, those who have no clue abt frndshp
>> compassion. Those who are ashamed of what they r and use false ids.
>> Blunt, straight forward analytical, one who scolds another out of an Utopian
>>  dream, such a one atleast has a spine & a head to hold high!
>>
>> كتب cuteboy يوم السبت، 25 يونيو 2011 00:47 GST:
>>
>>>He is sick ... just ignore him
>>>
>>>--- On Fri, 24/6/11, menmen69 sheikh  wrote:
>>>
>>>From: menmen69 sheikh 
>>>Subject: Re: g_b Pls bann aditya from this site guys
>>>To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
>>>Date: Friday, 24 June, 2011, 4:00 PM
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>  Yes I too agree with u
>>>
>>>--- On Wed, 6/22/11, boy_alone00  wrote:
>>>
>>>From: boy_alone00 
>>>Subject: g_b Pls bann aditya from this site guys
>>>To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
>>>Date: Wednesday, June 22, 2011, 2:52 PM
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>  This guy really feels no end of him self, proves to be a sick
>>> unemployed oversmart wakil of india. No work just comment on everyone
>>> negatively. We gays r here to share ups n downs n this jerk feels he can
>>> poke his nose everywhere.. Bann him guys he is..::
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>
>-- 
>Sent from my mobile device
>
>--- Reuse Paper by Both Sided Printing 
>
>
>
>
>
>Email: modera...@gaybombay.in
>
>E Groups:
>
>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay
>
>http://groups.google.com/group/Gaybombay
>
>http://groups.google.com/group/GayIndia
>
>Public archives at 
>http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html
>
>Rss feed: http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com/maillist.xml
>
>GB Internet Radio at http://www.gaybombay.in/gbradio
>
>Web Sites:
>
>www.gaybombay.in
>
>www.gayindia.org
>
>Orkut:
>
>http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile?uid=15084918632470824129
>
>Blogs:
>
>http://gaybombay.blogspot.com
>
>http://gaybombay.wordpress.com
>
>Twitter:
>
>http://twitter.com/gaybombay
>
>http://twitter.com/gayindia
>
>Facebook:
>
>http://www.facebook.com/gaybombay
>
>http://www.facebook.com/gayindia
>Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>

g_b Foreigners participate in rally in Chennai to support gay rights

[moderator]

Foreigners participate in rally in Chennai to support gay rights


>From ANI

Chennai, June 26: About hundreds of foreigners participated in a rally along
with members of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community in
Chennai   on Sunday. 



The LGBT community carried placards and banners and shouted slogans for a
normal life.

Many of the foreigners who participated were also lesbians or gays from the
United States. 

"I find that sad. I think love will overcome the hate and the barriers that
people put up to it because ultimately, I think what binds us all together
as humans is love no matter who it's for. It's how you love another person,"
said Aimee Voth Siebert, a lesbian.

The rally was aimed to create awareness on securing rights in their
professional life.

"We would like to specifically emphasize mainly on hetero-policies in
corporate companies and many other firms, and other working places where we
do not have rigid policies when LGBT people are discriminated or bullied,"
said Ajay, a gay.

"So, we need that and apart from that we need, we are also stressing on
mental health practitioners and other health providers to have consideration
towards LGBT community and also family members you know, to force us into
heterosexual marriage. Also, mainly we like to stress upon that Supreme
court needs to change and amend 377 in favour to us," he added. 

The pride parade, as the LGBT call it, began from Marina beach to create
awareness about the discrimination that the community faced in their
day-to-day lives.

"There are many people who have still not accepted what's gay and lesbian
terms in Chennai. So, this is just an awareness rally and this is our day.
This is gay pride and we are so proud of who we are. We are born this way
and it's not something we like got. It's, we are born this way. Every single
person here is unique in that way," said Shruti, a lesbian.

The number of transgenders in India is estimated to be a million and they
are among the most vulnerable to get infected by HIV and AIDS due to lack of
awareness.

Discrimination by the society has prevented most transgender from obtaining
decent education and jobs.

Majority of them live in slums, and with limited job opportunities, they
resort to sex work or begging.

 

Email:

modera...@gaybombay.in

E Groups:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay

http://groups.google.com/group/Gaybombay

http://groups.google.com/group/GayIndia

Public archives at
http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html

Rss feed:
http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com/maillist.xml 

GB Internet Radio at http://www.gaybombay.in/gbradio

Web Sites:

www.gaybombay.in

www.gayindia.org

Orkut:

http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile?uid=15084918632470824129

Blogs:

http://gaybombay.blogspot.com

http://gaybombay.wordpress.com

Twitter:

http://twitter.com/gaybombay

http://twitter.com/gayindia

Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/gaybombay

http://www.facebook.com/gayindia

 

رد: Re: g_b circumsation plz help

[Sanjay Lulla]

Dear Madca-o
U need to reffer to a General Surgeon and not any general physician. U will be 
under local anesthesia so during the process u wont feel it. The surgeon will 
prescribe anti bios n pain killers 4 subsequent discomfort. Maybe u need to 
take it easy 4 one week or so. Now a days they use self dissolving threads for 
stitching u up so within a month the stitches shall go. Its not a big deal 
check with a clinic hospital near u.
Cheers

كتب mad cow يوم السبت، 25 يونيو 2011 16:25 GST:

>Hi friends
>    any one tell me here which gay friendly doctor can do my circumsation of 
>my 
>pennys forskin ? and how long it will take to get dried up is that pain full ?
>and what medicene i should take after circumsation plz advice me .
>
> 
>---
>
>Sponsored links: Rock Hard Erections. All New Formula Attacks the Root. Fast. 
>http://alternatemedicinestore2010.com/ar/sig 
>
>
>
>
>
>
>From: dunno76 
>To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
>Sent: Fri, June 24, 2011 6:21:10 PM
>Subject: g_b when two become one
>
>  
>You can click on the photo for the bigger version.
>Each and everyone of you are special, unique and beautiful in your own way!
> 
>Wall Photos
>
>
>When your path crosses with another, both of you are positively transformed!
>
>
> 
>Wall Photos
>
>
>When two become one and yet each with space to grow.
> 
>Wall Photos

g_b New York Gay Bar Raided [NY Times]

[Deep]

Do we have anyone on these forums who was present when the New York gay
bar was being raided by the police?
Regards,
Deephttp://gaynotes.blogspot.com

Source:
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/06/25/sudden-inspection-at-gay-ba\
r-mars-victory-celebration-for-some/

Source: http://www.towleroad.com/2011/06/the-eagle.html


NYC Gay Bar Raided As Patrons Celebrated Marriage Equality Vote
The New York City police department is receiving heat for what many are
calling a raid on one of the city's gay bars, the Eagle, which took
place at the very same time that the state Senate voted to introduce
marriage equality to New York Friday night. Police claim this was a
routine inspection. Whether that's true or not, the timing of this
operation was remarkably insensitive. About 100 people were at the Eagle
at the time.

JUNE 25, 2011, 9:23 PMSudden Inspection at Gay Bar Mars Victory
Celebration for SomeBy AL BAKER
  and MICK MEENAN

An unannounced inspection that several agencies carried out at a gay bar
in Manhattan on Friday night occurred at nearly the same time that
patrons were celebrating the passage of legislation in Albany legalizing
same-sex marriage.

Police officials said on Saturday that the inspection was part of a
routine operation planned long ago. But Scott M. Stringer, the Manhattan
borough president, said that he was troubled by descriptions of what
took place at the Eagle bar, on West 28th Street off 11th Avenue, and
that the actions amounted to a raid.

"I am going to ask the police commissioner to conduct a formal
investigation concerning the circumstances around this raid," he
added.

The inspection occurred late at night, Mr. Stringer said, and while it
was "true that there are these multiagency inspections, I think this
one was ill-conceived and ill-timed given the circumstances surrounding
the marriage equality celebration, on Pride week."

According to those present, about 100 people were mingling at the Eagle,
when representatives from the New York Police Department and three other
city agencies, as well as from the State Liquor Authority, showed up, at
nearly the same time as a vote by the State Senate to legalize same-sex
marriage and as the thrill of victory was swirling through the place.

"I was on the roof deck, smoking a cigar and having drinks with
friends, and all of a sudden, the police showed up and started shining
flashlights in everyone's face and offending everyone," said
Thomas J. Shevlin, a financial markets researcher and the treasurer of
the Stonewall Democratic Club.

"Basically, it is offensive," Mr. Shevlin, 40, said. "It is
real serious harassment that they come out on pride weekend."

Paul J. Browne, the Police Department's chief spokesman, said the
Eagle was one of four establishments in the 10th Precinct inspected on
Friday under a program known as MARCH, or multiagency response to
community hot spots.

He said every precinct in the city, except for Central Park, carried out
such operations at what amounted to "a couple thousand clubs"
each year.

The establishments are selected because they are the subjects of
"chronic complaints" from community members that are mostly
reported through the city's 311 and 911 communications systems over
concerns like excessive noise or fighting, Mr. Browne said. The
inspections, he added, were planned weeks in advance.

He said the inspection at the Eagle led to six violations being issued:
two from the police regarding unlicensed security; one from the
Department of Environmental Protection regarding unnecessary noise; one
from the Buildings Department for having no public assembly permit; and
two from the liquor authority for "extension of premise," and
"failure to conform to application."

Robert Berk, 50, the owner of the Eagle, said on Saturday that the
operation's timing was "bad." The officers and other agents
began entering, unannounced, about 10:30 p.m., he said, and eventually
numbered about 20. They were "aggressive, but polite" as they
examined the premises, he said, adding that they went over paperwork and
inspected items like the ice makers and the licenses of security guards.

Mr. Berk, who is gay, and who described his bar as a "Levis and
leather" establishment, added he expected to receive a list of
violations in the mail.

"I definitely lost money last night because they made patrons wait
outside in a line down the block," Mr. Berk said. "I don't
know how much I have to pay, but it's enough to matter."

Christopher J. Borras, 46, was among those waiting to get in, finally
gaining entry about 11:45 p.m., just as Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo was
preparing to sign the marriage measure into law.

"I find interesting the timing," said Mr. Borras, who had been
at

Re: g_b Pls bann aditya from this site guys

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

Have you not done that a few time alreadyin the distant hazy past..!!???

On 25 June 2011 14:04, akshay khanna  wrote:

> **
>
>
> awww...that's cute. i want to pinch aditya's butt!
>
>
> On Fri, Jun 24, 2011 at 8:08 PM, Ramesh  wrote:
>
>> **
>>
>>
>>   That's one point of view.  But don't you think it is better to ignore
>> the ones who annoy you?  Just like ignoring an annoying, spoilt child that
>> we sometimes encounter when we visit family friends or relatives.  We may
>> want to pinch his butt and box his ears when his parents are not looking,
>> but we can't ban him!
>>
>>
>> --- On *Fri, 6/24/11, menmen69 sheikh * wrote:
>>
>>
>> From: menmen69 sheikh 
>> Subject: Re: g_b Pls bann aditya from this site guys
>>
>> To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
>> Date: Friday, June 24, 2011, 11:30 AM
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>   Yes I too agree with u
>>
>> --- On *Wed, 6/22/11, boy_alone00 * wrote:
>>
>>
>> From: boy_alone00 
>> Subject: g_b Pls bann aditya from this site guys
>> To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
>> Date: Wednesday, June 22, 2011, 2:52 PM
>>
>>
>> This guy really feels no end of him self, proves to be a sick unemployed
>> oversmart wakil of india. No work just comment on everyone negatively. We
>> gays r here to share ups n downs n this jerk feels he can poke his nose
>> everywhere.. Bann him guys he is..::
>>
>>
>>
>>
>  
>



-- 
-- 
ADITYA BONDYOPADHYAY
Development Sector Consultant
Advocate (Regd. No. F-218/192 of 1997, Bar Council of W.Bengal, India)

Website: http://adityabondyopadhyay.webs.com/

Notice to all recipients:
Communication not intended for you but reaching you inadvertently needs to
be treated as confidential and destroyed or deleted immediately. Use of such
communication in a manner prejudicial to the interest of Aditya
Bondyopadhyay and/or his principals, and/or his clients, and/or his agents
respectively, may attract legal proceedings which may be of a civil or
criminal nature.

Aditya Bondyopadhyay and/or his principals, and/or his clients, and/or his
agents respectively cannot be held liable or accountable for any and every
communication reaching out through this email account that is an unaltered
forward of another communication received by this email account, or a
referred source available on the internet and accessible to the public.

g_b Gay Marriage - A Bittersweet Victory [CNN-Time]

[Deep]

Here's an article from CNN-Time magazine published a couple of days ago.
In it the author argues that even though gay marriages are legal (or
will shortly be) in New York, for the author it's not the same thing
since "Marriage without a church or temple wedding isn't going to be the
real thing". How many of us think that a gay wedding needs the sanction
of religion? After all even heterosexuals may decide to shrug off the
religious rituals and settle for an economically cheaper "court
marriage".
Check out also the numerous homophobic comments at the end of the
article. There are so many who argue that it's wrong to be gay because
"religion said so"!

Let us say that you had the opportunity to wed your partner in India or
Nepal, would you insist on the "appropriate" religious rituals?
Regards,
Deephttp://gaynotes.blogspot.com

Source: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2079861,00.html

Saturday, Jun. 25, 2011Gay Marriage: A Bittersweet Victory?By Howard
Chua-Eoan


I woke up this morning to discover that, despite my best efforts, I was
still only married to my job.

I had spent part of the night in Greenwich Village with the crowds
outside the Stonewall Inn celebrating the legalization of same-sex
marriage in New York state. I proposed to several passersby but every
single one laughed. The thumping of "Y.M.C.A." on an adjacent boombox
killed any possibility of romance. (Why is that song always played at
weddings?)

I had wandered down from a party about 10 blocks north, in Chelsea, one
of New York City's gay enclaves. The gathering at that apartment was
slightly surreal. It appeared to be familiar: handsome young men
flirting with each other over sweets and alcohol. But now they had a
complex new dimension to navigate through — albeit the kind of
calculus that heterosexuals can do in their sleep. Or when they sleep
with each other. Or when they wake up and discover who they have slept
with. It's the possibility of marriage, lurking subtly somewhere in
one's head. Imagine all the psycho-sexual-financial-commercial-legal
dramas that will emerge as that little formula weaves itself into the
lives of gay New Yorkers. Soon, we can have the kind of domestic life
straight people have. One day, we may no longer even be gay. Just the
people next door. No more parades.

Of course, that's not going to happen soon. No matter that New York is
the largest state of the Union to hold that the union of a man and a man
or a woman and a woman is equal to that of a man and a woman.
California, the largest state in the Union, had that distinction for a
few months before electoral and judicial jiu jitsu tied marriage up in
knots there. There are 44 more states to go and a rowdy presidential
campaign season that is bound to roil a whole range of political bases.
And who knows if the legalization of gay marriage in New York, because
it is New York, will actually work against marriage equality across the
country. Could an exodus of gay people from the rest of the U.S. to the
Empire State sap the will (and pocketbooks) of campaigns to legalize
marriage in, say, Missouri or Minnesota or Kansas? Just saying.

But in one very important way, marriage will not quite be marriage even
in New York, even 30 days from now when the law goes into effect. That
is because the psycho-sexual-financial-commercial-legal dramas that
entangle the domestic lives of straight people often have another
component — religion. And religious institutions have an exemption
in the new law from accommodating gay people. It was key to the passage
of the legislation.

Marriage without a church or temple wedding isn't going to be the real
thing. Why can some people have all the bells and whistles in the church
of their choice but not me? Of course, there have been and will be
congregations and churches that allow gay men and lesbians to be married
in their midst and to bless those unions, recognizing that God loves
them just as much as Governor Andrew Cuomo does. But some rich and
influential religious institutions are not only free to continue to
reject gay men and women as equal beneficiaries of all aspects of faith
but will now rally their congregants to reject politicians who are
willing to abide with this extension of secular civil rights — no
matter how much acceptance there is of same-sex marriage elsewhere, no
matter how many wedding announcements appear in the New York Times.

I write this as a deeply religious Christian who is pained that the
church that otherwise provides me with so much spiritual comfort and joy
will never allow me to marry within its walls. Some clerics may be
"liberal" enough to turn a blind eye to gay relationships so long as
they do not have to recognize them, much less grant them any kind of
imprimatur. And, as of now, even in New York, religious institutions
cannot be compelled to perform such a simple act of charity.

The state cannot force a church to cha

g_b Are Gay Relationships Different? [CNN-Time magazine]

[gaymanproud31]

This article, which appeared in Jan, 2008 in CNN-Time magazine, talks
about gay relationships which sink when they hit the iceberg called the
"7 tear itch". However, we do know of gay and lesbian couples right here
in  India who are still happily together many years after the "itch
year". Aditya B. has explained in a previous post that gays staying
together has little to do with chance and a lot to do with hard work.
The author says that "Legalizing same-sex marriage would probably help
prolong gay relationships, if only because of the financial and legal
benefits married couples enjoy" and "And yet if ours had been a straight
marriage, I have little doubt we would still be together".
What do you think?
Regards,
Deephttp://gaynotes.blogspot.com

Source: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1704660,00.html


Thursday, Jan. 17, 2008Are Gay Relationships Different?By John Cloud


Michael and I had been together 7 1⁄2 years when I moved out in
late 2006. We met at a bar just after Christmas 1998; I had seen
Shakespeare in Love with a couple of friends, and I was feeling amorous,
looking for Joseph Fiennes. Michael hit on one of my friends first, but
the two didn't click, so Michael settled for me.

That was one of our most reliable stories to tell friends over dinner.
It never ceased to get the table laughing, Michael and me most of all,
because it was preposterous to think we wouldn't have ended up together.
We were so happy, our love unshakable.

I went home with Michael the night we met, and figuratively speaking, I
didn't leave again for those 7 1⁄2 years. The breakup sucked, the
more so because it was no one's fault. Our relationship had begun to
suffer the inanition of many marriages at seven years. (The seven-year
itch isn't a myth; the U.S. Census Bureau says the median duration of
first marriages that end in divorce is 7.9 years.) Michael and I loved
each other, but slowly--almost imperceptibly at first--we began to
realize we were no longer in love. We were intimate but no longer
passionate; we had cats but no kids.

Things drifted for a while. There was some icky couples counseling ("Try
a blindfold") and therapeutic spending on vacations, clothes, furniture.
We were lost. The night Michael wouldn't stay up to watch The Office
finale with me, I knew I had to move out. Yes, he was tired, but if he
couldn't give me the length of a sitcom--Jim and Pam are going to
kiss!--then we were really done.

What followed for me, in no meaningful order, was intense exercise and
weight loss; fugue states punctuated by light psychotherapy, heavy
drinking and moderate drug use; really good sex; Italian classes (where
I learned to pronounce il mio divorzio perfectly); and marathons of
cooking. I had always enjoyed the kitchen, but now I would make pumpkin
ravioli from scratch on Thursday and cook a black bass in parchment on
Friday and bake an olive-oil cake on Saturday. The fridge was stuffed;
my friends were ecstatic and full. But in the mornings, alone before
dawn, a jolt of terror: What had I done?

Finally I started reading the academic research on relationships, which
is abundant and, surprisingly, often rigorous. I wondered whether
Michael and I could have done more to save our union. What impact had
our homosexuality had on the longevity, arc and dissolution of our
relationship? Had we given up on each other because we were men or
because we were gay? Or neither? Friends offered clichés: Some people
just aren't meant for each other. But our straight friends usually
stayed married. Why not us?

When I was 13, I secretly read my parents' old copy of Dr. David
Reuben's Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, first published
in 1969. Standing nervously at the bookshelf, I was poised to replace
the volume quickly if I heard footsteps. The chapter on homosexuality
explained, "The homosexual must constantly search for the one man, the
one penis, the one experience, that will satisfy him. He is the sexual
Diogenes, always looking for the penis that pleases. That is the reason
he must change partners endlessly. [In gay marriages] the principals
never stop cruising. They may set up housekeeping together, but the
parade of penises usually continue [sic] unabated ... Mercifully for
both of them, the life expectancy of their relationship together is
brief." My face went hot with embarrassment.

I know now that the book was blithe and stupid, but I think many people,
gay and straight, assume gay men are worse at maintaining relationships
than straight people are. I needed experts, answers. I was also curious
if I should be so upset about my breakup. As a society, we treat single
people over 30 with condescension or pity, but maybe the problem was
that I had hurtled into a serious relationship too young. I know that in
my 20s I had wanted to impress my family and my heterosexual friends
with my stability. Maybe I should have waited.

R

g_b File - PLEASE NOTE-URGENT

[gay_bombay]

Hello All

Please remember and understand that any post you send to the mailing
list or as a reply to any mailing list message reaches everyone in the
mailing group who is subscribed to the list.so send only relevant
messages and only those messages that you intend to share with
everyone. if you want to reply to a personal email, please click on
that person's email, compose an email and then reply. dont hit the
reply button as the email then goes to all subscribers of the group.If you send 
a personal reply to someone looking for mate, by simply hitting the reply 
button, it shall not be carried. Naturally, the person to whom you wanted to 
reply shall not get your email. So, please be considerate and send the reply 
directly to the person by copying his email.

Regards

Moderator

Re: رد: Re: g_b Pls ban aditya from this site guys

[Tintin Mumbai India]

Jaao Pahle Unko Ban karke aao jinhone gays ko neechi najaron se dekhna
shuru kiya...
Jaao pahle unko ban karke aao jinhone FIRE movie dikhaane waale
theatres me todfod ki...
...
...
...
fir uske baad mere bhaai, tum jis jis ko ban karne ko kahoge, main ban
kar doonga...

On 6/25/11, Sanjay Lulla  wrote:
> Please consider to ban and ignore those who lead a double life (appear str8
> are married and have alternative ids, one 4 manhunt another 4 office fly
> ROW), those 4 whon frndshp relationships(other than romantic ones) mean
> nothing more than a penis/rectum, those who have no clue abt frndshp
> compassion. Those who are ashamed of what they r and use false ids.
> Blunt, straight forward analytical, one who scolds another out of an Utopian
>  dream, such a one atleast has a spine & a head to hold high!
>
> كتب cuteboy يوم السبت، 25 يونيو 2011 00:47 GST:
>
>>He is sick ... just ignore him
>>
>>--- On Fri, 24/6/11, menmen69 sheikh  wrote:
>>
>>From: menmen69 sheikh 
>>Subject: Re: g_b Pls bann aditya from this site guys
>>To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
>>Date: Friday, 24 June, 2011, 4:00 PM
>>
>>
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>>  Yes I too agree with u
>>
>>--- On Wed, 6/22/11, boy_alone00  wrote:
>>
>>From: boy_alone00 
>>Subject: g_b Pls bann aditya from this site guys
>>To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
>>Date: Wednesday, June 22, 2011, 2:52 PM
>>
>>
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>>  This guy really feels no end of him self, proves to be a sick
>> unemployed oversmart wakil of india. No work just comment on everyone
>> negatively. We gays r here to share ups n downs n this jerk feels he can
>> poke his nose everywhere.. Bann him guys he is..::
>>
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>
>

-- 
Sent from my mobile device

--- Reuse Paper by Both Sided Printing 





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Re: g_b From the NYT - My Ex-Gay Friend

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

Hi Deep,
I agree, and article like this should ideally be accompanied by an
advisory, or at least a contrarian note (as V.Doc usually does). But I
do not agree that such articles are best not psoted.

 I feel those who are confused, suicidal, et al, should not be helped
by us creating for them an unreal rosy world that does not exist in
reality, and that they should actually be exposed to the 'real' shit
and then encouraged and empowered to deal with it.

That is why I always tell the downside when romantics and daydreamers
post about the unreachable, or unreal. I'd rather they knew the harsh
reality and dealt with it than be a disiilusioned wreck later.

Best,
Aditya B

On 6/25/11, Deep  wrote:
> Mike,
> If the same article ("From the NYT - My Ex-Gay Friend") were to be
> posted to a group comprising entirely of matured individuals perfectly
> comfortable with their sexual orientations and with everyone else's then
> this would have made for a theoretical read. Quite hilarious in parts.
> However, the reality is that this group consists of more than 20,000
> members most of whom are "passive" (and a merciful minuscule among them
> are angst ridden and pathological passive-aggressives :-P ) . One
> assumes that this majority of members who never post anything on this
> site sometimes deign to read the articles/comments of the others.
> We have members on this group who are depressed with their sexual
> orientation. There are numerous examples of  posts demonstrating
> internal homophobia and even ideations of suicide. I would think a
> million times before I would show them this kind of an article. Knowing
> fully well that their levels of knowledge of the English language leave
> a lot to be desired.
> I mean, "open mindedness" and "exposure to different ideas" is all very
> fine, but would you show a suicidal and depressed person how to purchase
> and operate a gun or sleeping tablets from the pharmacy? This article
> talks of the ex-gay movement and seems to show that it has helped one
> Mr. Michael Glatze. Just this fact may be enough for a depressed gay man
> to attempt such a hog-wash of a "cure"!
> When I posted my reply I had no idea of the real identity of the person
> who had posted it. I realized it later. I have briefly  met the
> gentleman once or twice under pleasant social circumstances. He seemed a
> pretty sensible guy, atleast to me. I guess, in this case, he made an
> "error of judgement" in posting that article without a strong advisory.
> Me thinks, he could have eschewed that article altogether...
> The flame war started when some members (remember the "pathological
> minuscule"? :-P ) jumped in. But, to my mind, their comments and views
> belong to the trash can of my inbox. Which, in any case, it is
> automagically configured (from past experiences!) to relegate messages
> from those individuals to. :-)
> Regards,
> Deephttp://gaynotes.blogspot.com
> --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, Mike Morea  wrote:
>>
>> I agree with you Deep.  One deluded individual ... This story seems to
> indicate
>> and perpetrate the same idealism that god hates gays and loves
> heteros. I doubt
>> if Pratap really read this long winded article with no discernible
> value.  I am
>> not against someone changing their sexual preferences, but am
> vehemently against
>> when they start pointing fingers. Pratap it seems is in state of
> confusion and
>> wants to prove to us by posting this deranged article that he is on
> high ground.
>> This is a bunch of %$^&$*.  My sexual preferences and belief in god
> are both
>> choices I choose to make, not because someone thinks right or wrong.
> Keep these
>> kind of bull%&*# away from here !!!
>>
>> Mike.
>>
>>
>>
>> 
>> From: Deep gaymanproud31@...
>> To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
>> Sent: Wed, June 22, 2011 3:04:31 AM
>> Subject: g_b Re: From the NYT - My Ex-Gay Friend
>>
>>
>> This Michael Glatze is one deluded and confused individual. He is
> glorifying the
>> institution of the ex-gay movement which has caused a lot of damage to
> the lives
>> of tens of thousands. He is equating heterosexuality with his idea of
> some demon
>> god sitting  in high heavens dishing out curses for homosexuals. I
> have posted
>> the terrible effects of the ex-gay movement on people's lives in other
> posts on
>> this group.
>>
>> The problem is that Michael Glatze is not just concerned about which
> hole he
>> puts his own c*&^ but the holes and the c*&^s of all his friends and
> countrymen.
>> Since Michael Glatze can't legitimately go around examining the
> genitals of
>> everyone and what they are doing with them he carries a holy book in
> his hand to
>> give him credibility. In this way he is abusing the holy book.
>>
>> Love is an elusive thing for homosexuals and heterosexuals alike, and
> the only
>> reason it seems to be more in heterosexuals is because of the way
> society is
>> structured.
>>
>>
>> Michael Glatze needs secular and legiti

Re: g_b just joined the group

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

Welcome

On 6/25/11, mohan  wrote:
> Hi every one ..i am 59 y/o , would love to have friensship requests from
> people in this group...i travel to india , chennai , hyderabad...live in
> dubai ...i also visit china...would love to develope contacts with people in
> these cities...i am into construction business...
>
>

-- 
Sent from my mobile device

-- 
ADITYA BONDYOPADHYAY
Development Sector Consultant
Advocate (Regd. No. F-218/192 of 1997, Bar Council of W.Bengal, India)

Website: http://adityabondyopadhyay.webs.com/

Notice to all recipients:
Communication not intended for you but reaching you inadvertently needs to
be treated as confidential and destroyed or deleted immediately. Use of such
communication in a manner prejudicial to the interest of Aditya
Bondyopadhyay and/or his principals, and/or his clients, and/or his agents
respectively, may attract legal proceedings which may be of a civil or
criminal nature.

Aditya Bondyopadhyay and/or his principals, and/or his clients, and/or his
agents respectively cannot be held liable or accountable for any and every
communication reaching out through this email account that is an unaltered
forward of another communication received by this email account, or a
referred source available on the internet and accessible to the public.

Re: g_b New York Legalises Same Sex Marriages - and in India....

[Aditya Bondyopadhyay]

Interesting point Sujit, and good that you raised them.

In the distant haze of the future, when we do get to have same-sex
marriage, whether the adultary laws apply to same-sex couples, would
depend largely on how we obtain the right to marriage.

In terms of legal strategies, there are two main ways of getting it.

The first would be to ask the courts to declare that the special
marriage act applies equally to same-sex marriage. In that event the
associated legislations, including adultary may well get attracted,
although the courts would have a hard time determining how to
prosecute it since the law on adultary can only be invoked by an
aggrieved husband against another man (married or otherwise) who's
screwed his wife. The logic being that the wife is the property of the
man, and the other man by screweing her has committed 'criminal
trespass' on that property, i.e. illegally 'entered and irreparably
damaged it'.

It may be victorian, no matter what the Bombay Judge says, but the
queer aspect will come about because in same-sex marriages, there will
either be no wife to tresspass on, or no husband to be aggrieved.

However if we get same sex-marriage by the 2nd route, i.e. by a
legislation enacted by parliament, we may get a law that deals in
advance with these issues, and therefore we may not get saddled with
the adultary baggage.

Best,
Aditya B

On 6/25/11, sbdary  wrote:
> It was just yesterday, I think, that a Mumbai High Court judge had held a
> man guilty of adultery, even though the sexual act (between a man and a
> woman) was between consenting adults. The judge reasoned, I believe quite
> correctly, that even though the act was between consenting adults, it was
> outside the institution of marriage. The judge also commented that it was
> high time for the "crime" (Adultery)to be amended to hold the woman guilty
> too.
>
> Is one to infer that had the protagonists in the case NOT been married,
> there would have been no "crime" - free and casual sex between consenting
> adults is legally acceptable, I suppose.
>
> Given this scenario, it made me wonder about the impact of legalising same
> sex marriages - if, at some point (hopefully in the near future) either the
> Parliament or the Supreme Court does de-criminalise same sex (Sec 379)
> liaisons, and, the next logical step of allowing same sex marriages... given
> my admittedly limited exposure to gay experiences, I still feel we may see a
> future of legalised same sex marriages but adultery would still be
> rampant?!?!
>
> Sujit
>
>

-- 
Sent from my mobile device

-- 
ADITYA BONDYOPADHYAY
Development Sector Consultant
Advocate (Regd. No. F-218/192 of 1997, Bar Council of W.Bengal, India)

Website: http://adityabondyopadhyay.webs.com/

Notice to all recipients:
Communication not intended for you but reaching you inadvertently needs to
be treated as confidential and destroyed or deleted immediately. Use of such
communication in a manner prejudicial to the interest of Aditya
Bondyopadhyay and/or his principals, and/or his clients, and/or his agents
respectively, may attract legal proceedings which may be of a civil or
criminal nature.

Aditya Bondyopadhyay and/or his principals, and/or his clients, and/or his
agents respectively cannot be held liable or accountable for any and every
communication reaching out through this email account that is an unaltered
forward of another communication received by this email account, or a
referred source available on the internet and accessible to the public.