Re: g_b can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy? No we cant.
Well Dear Rij, That does raise the question-what then does prove that you are gay? -Aditya On 12/03/06, Ridgeer Roy [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Its all very situational. I sincerely beg to differ with both the arguments. Yes, the probability of cheating and thereby ruining a girl's life must be considered, but when you know you just cant do anything about it because of your society and family - go ahead and get married, and then do not cheat on her and your children. But if you are trying to prove that you are being GAY by going against all odds - then that's just foolishness. That doesn't prove you are GAY. Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking Reply) will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Classifieds for personal advertisements are back on www.gaybombay.info site. Please exercise restraint in the language of your personal advertisement. SPONSORED LINKS Romance relationship Bombay india Gay men YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS Visit your group "gay_bombay" on the web. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Re: g_b can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy?
Dear All, It seems to me that most of my group brothers are highly influenced by Hindi Movies from where they get this 'sacrificing' and 'feeling good' or 'self pity' attitude which seems to build strong inroads in ones personality. No I am not sitting on judgement here - but I believe that we should live life honestly - honesty starts from within - if you cannot be honest to yourself you can never be honest to anybody else. In the process of making your parents happy, God forbid, you cannot adjust or after marriage your Gay nature is exposed - you will ruin and destroy your parents happiness. In the long run it is always better to open up with your parents - even if you are in the closet - it will make you feel much relieved. Parents love their children no matter what - initially they will react very 'oddly natural' but remember they are just trying to come into terms with a reality. But one last thing I want to add here - let us not judge anyone or even ourselves - Nothing is good or bad only our thinking makes it so - let us enjoy life with love and truth. Regards to everyone. Remember everyone is right in his own or her way Viki Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info == This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking Reply) will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. If you'd like to respond privately to the author of any message then please compose and send a new email message to the author's email address. Post:- gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subscribe:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Digest Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] No Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Individual Mail Mode:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Contact Us:- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives are at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Classifieds for personal advertisements are back on www.gaybombay.info site. Please exercise restraint in the language of your personal advertisement. Yahoo! Groups Links * To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay/ * To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] * Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
Re: g_b can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy?
hi sumeet, i think i'm kinda young to be discussing my marriage and it's not tat i'll do wat ppl say me. it's not tat i'll or will not marry if someone told me to or not to. it's just tat i wanted to check u guys' responses. cuz, being an amature, i'm kinda clueless abt how my future is gonna be, as far as my familial life is concerned. u can also view my prior mail as some kinda survey... it's just tat i wanna find out how many ppl take decisions with conviction and are not in any kinda internal or external conflict. coincidentally, i happened to read a message in GB , which just contained wat i wrote in my previous mail and the response by Mr.Ganesh(GB grp) indeed helped me to get a clear picture... and thanks for ur advice too, sumeet. i'll give a hear to everyone but i'll let my mind be mine... :)) cheers... v. --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, Sumeet Mehra [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Hi Coolclump! Here i wolud like to tell you just one thing Give a hear to everyone but let your mind be with you As far as asking opinion you will get many opinions, but will you be able to take any decision on that grounds? I certainly do think so and again it would be not fair enough on your part. You would marry because someone told you? or you dint marry because some one told you? You need to make your own decision. No one can make on your part nor should you allow anyone to do so. We in India live for family. Our family values is our backbone. We need to take that till our next generations. So left on you. What you want to do, you decide? All the best! Cheers Sumeet. coolclump [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: hi there, i've always been a silent spectator of this grp. after reading ur reaction for gays marrying straight women, i've a humble comment/doubt to put forth: won't it be selfish of us(gays) if we deny getting married? cuz, the majority of the parents of gays are conservative and it's a matter of pride for them to get their sons/daughters married. and we're here on the earth only because of them. it's our parents who've given us an identity. aren't we obliged to go by their words as in case of marriage? can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy? and i'm sure gays will definitely have children after marriage. that'll also make our parents happy grandparents na..? well, this is not my principle or opinion. it's just a small doubt that has kept me in conflict for quite a long time. and i just wanna know how other gays 'll respond to this.. i understand ur point also but would u or anyone substantiate ur point of view? how'll u tackle a question as this? would u prefer saying-'yes, i'm selfish' or 'no, i'll better make my conservative parents happy...' cheers.. v --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, Sonub Jalan likluv@ wrote: rent you contradicting yourself? Sex is in the mind and still at heart we are gay...who are you fooling? If you have indeed attained intimacy with your wife (proving that it is possible) then why the need to be here? I dont know under what circumstances you have had to marry and I will not like to sit in judgement of your actions. But this is definitely not the advise you can give to people who are under pressure to get married to a woman. What such people (people like me) need to know is that you will then be using a woman's life to experiment. You are living in denial about what you and she needs and someday you will not be able to live the pretence any longer. For those of you who are married...you can spend the rest of your life adjusting and rubbing your wife's cheeks or acknowledge the clossal mistake you have made and go your separate ways. Acknowledge that you are not a perfect husband like heteros and a hetro is what any straight woman deserves, while you are respnsible for denying her that. And then maybe some of you married guys have been lucky in that your wife has waited long enough for you to get physical as if it means nothing to you as would between two friends. I know of women who kicked the living daylights out of their husbands for not being good enough. Lots of rounds to hospitals to cure their impotency. So dont you dare make your plight a general rule. Get real guys. While the honourable GB list jury is still out on whether true love is possible in the gay world, I believe it is better to be alone than to live a lie. I have fought really hard not to marry, being the only son in a very conservative family. It has affected my parents health and been the cause of a lot of tension in my family. But I would rather live with this than a wife with whom I need to develop intimacy and Achieving sex with one women against my instincts. abbey fifty abbeyphilip@ wrote: Guys, I'd like to make two points: 1. I share Sumeet Mehra's experiences and having done the deed, ( marrying )the best option is to try hard to adjust. And the best policy is NOT to try getting hard - just befriend your wife, get intimate
g_b can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy? No we cant.
So you think , to make yr parents happy, you have the right to ruin a womans life Ruin her parents peace of mind too?? No definitely not. Rather we should teach our parents to accept their gay progeny and find happiness in that. After all they have produced us and we are gays as ordained by nature...not by choice. So whats the fault of the poor woman. I am a married man, and know and accept that i have committed a great crime by getting married. I accept it was a great selfish act to ruin her life by trying to make myself or my parents happy. Somu === somu our of curiosity when u realised that it was a great selfish act, what did you do? what did you go through pre marriage and post marriage? you sound like a sensible guy.. so in the first place why ddi you marry? and then what made you think that you committed a crime by getting married? are you still married? you don't have to tell if you dont want to. regards moderator === coolclump [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: hi there, i've always been a silent spectator of this grp. after reading ur reaction for gays marrying straight women, i've a humble comment/doubt to put forth: won't it be selfish of us(gays) if we deny getting married? cuz, the majority of the parents of gays are conservative and it's a matter of pride for them to get their sons/daughters married. and we're here on the earth only because of them. it's our parents who've given us an identity. aren't we obliged to go by their words as in case of marriage? can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy? and i'm sure gays will definitely have children after marriage. that'll also make our parents happy grandparents na..? well, this is not my principle or opinion. it's just a small doubt that has kept me in conflict for quite a long time. and i just wanna know how other gays 'll respond to this.. i understand ur point also but would u or anyone substantiate ur point of view? how'll u tackle a question as this? would u prefer saying-'yes, i'm selfish' or 'no, i'll better make my conservative parents happy...' cheers.. v --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, Sonub Jalan [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: rent you contradicting yourself? Sex is in the mind and still at heart we are gay...who are you fooling? If you have indeed attained intimacy with your wife (proving that it is possible) then why the need to be here? I dont know under what circumstances you have had to marry and I will not like to sit in judgement of your actions. But this is definitely not the advise you can give to people who are under pressure to get married to a woman. What such people (people like me) need to know is that you will then be using a woman's life to experiment. You are living in denial about what you and she needs and someday you will not be able to live the pretence any longer. For those of you who are married...you can spend the rest of your life adjusting and rubbing your wife's cheeks or acknowledge the clossal mistake you have made and go your separate ways. Acknowledge that you are not a perfect husband like heteros and a hetro is what any straight woman deserves, while you are respnsible for denying her that. And then maybe some of you married guys have been lucky in that your wife has waited long enough for you to get physical as if it means nothing to you as would between two friends. I know of women who kicked the living daylights out of their husbands for not being good enough. Lots of rounds to hospitals to cure their impotency. So dont you dare make your plight a general rule. Get real guys. While the honourable GB list jury is still out on whether true love is possible in the gay world, I believe it is better to be alone than to live a lie. I have fought really hard not to marry, being the only son in a very conservative family. It has affected my parents health and been the cause of a lot of tension in my family. But I would rather live with this than a wife with whom I need to develop intimacy and Achieving sex with one women against my instincts. abbey fifty [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Guys, I'd like to make two points: 1. I share Sumeet Mehra's experiences and having done the deed, ( marrying )the best option is to try hard to adjust. And the best policy is NOT to try getting hard - just befriend your wife, get intimate in all other ways, and then very slowly, get physical as if it means nothing to you as would between two friends -like putting hand over shoulder, a kiss on the cheek and just holding hands. The important thing is to get so used to these things that you are not conscious. After a few months, you will be mentally relaxed enough for stirrings of physical feelings to emerge. Remember sex is in the mind. So relax and let time go. I went through this phase and though not a perfect husband like heteros, we do get
Re: g_b can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy?
Hi Coolclump! Here i wolud like to tell you just one thing Give a hear to everyone but let your mind be with you As far as asking opinion you will get many opinions, but will you be able to take any decision on that grounds? I certainly do think so and again it would be not fair enough on your part. You would marry because someone told you? or you dint marry because some one told you? You need to make your own decision. No one can make on your part nor should you allow anyone to do so. We in India live for family. Our family values is our backbone. We need to take that till our next generations. So left on you. What you want to do, you decide? All the best! Cheers Sumeet. coolclump [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: hi there, i've always been a silent spectator of this grp. after reading ur reaction for gays marrying straight women, i've a humble comment/doubt to put forth: won't it be selfish of us(gays) if we deny getting married? cuz, the majority of the parents of gays are conservative and it's a matter of pride for them to get their sons/daughters married. and we're here on the earth only because of them. it's our parents who've given us an identity. aren't we obliged to go by their words as in case of marriage? can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy? and i'm sure gays will definitely have children after marriage. that'll also make our parents happy grandparents na..? well, this is not my principle or opinion. it's just a small doubt that has kept me in conflict for quite a long time. and i just wanna know how other gays 'll respond to this.. i understand ur point also but would u or anyone substantiate ur point of view? how'll u tackle a question as this? would u prefer saying-'yes, i'm selfish' or 'no, i'll better make my conservative parents happy...' cheers.. v --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, Sonub Jalan [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: rent you contradicting yourself? Sex is in the mind and still at heart we are gay...who are you fooling? If you have indeed attained intimacy with your wife (proving that it is possible) then why the need to be here? I dont know under what circumstances you have had to marry and I will not like to sit in judgement of your actions. But this is definitely not the advise you can give to people who are under pressure to get married to a woman. What such people (people like me) need to know is that you will then be using a woman's life to experiment. You are living in denial about what you and she needs and someday you will not be able to live the pretence any longer. For those of you who are married...you can spend the rest of your life adjusting and rubbing your wife's cheeks or acknowledge the clossal mistake you have made and go your separate ways. Acknowledge that you are not a perfect husband like heteros and a hetro is what any straight woman deserves, while you are respnsible for denying her that. And then maybe some of you married guys have been lucky in that your wife has waited long enough for you to get physical as if it means nothing to you as would between two friends. I know of women who kicked the living daylights out of their husbands for not being good enough. Lots of rounds to hospitals to cure their impotency. So dont you dare make your plight a general rule. Get real guys. While the honourable GB list jury is still out on whether true love is possible in the gay world, I believe it is better to be alone than to live a lie. I have fought really hard not to marry, being the only son in a very conservative family. It has affected my parents health and been the cause of a lot of tension in my family. But I would rather live with this than a wife with whom I need to develop intimacy and Achieving sex with one women against my instincts. abbey fifty [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Guys, I'd like to make two points: 1. I share Sumeet Mehra's experiences and having done the deed, ( marrying )the best option is to try hard to adjust. And the best policy is NOT to try getting hard - just befriend your wife, get intimate in all other ways, and then very slowly, get physical as if it means nothing to you as would between two friends -like putting hand over shoulder, a kiss on the cheek and just holding hands. The important thing is to get so used to these things that you are not conscious. After a few months, you will be mentally relaxed enough for stirrings of physical feelings to emerge. Remember sex is in the mind. So relax and let time go. I went through this phase and though not a perfect husband like heteros, we do get along. 2. We are on the list because, still, at heart we are gay in that we are attracted physically by men. Achieving sex with one women means nothing much except that u get to know her so well, that one learns to get along, if you know what I mean. It happens. But the feelings stop with that one women. Emotionally, we are very much on
Re: g_b can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy?
sweetheart...i love my parents. they are the most important people in my life and their happiness means the whole world to me. but that does not give me the right to trap a girl into a "marriage" i am completetly disinterested in. it would mean either living my whole life against my instints devoid of passion and true love or cheating on her. i would rather go through this period of pain for my parents and me, be there for them, wait for them to come to terms with my true nature and take it from there on. the two options you have concluded your mail with arent really the only two options available to gay men. your outlook only belies your lack of courage to face the challenges you are up against. and by no means am i saying the challenges you and i have to face as gay men are trivial. but they are our challenges that we have to face...call it karma...call it a blessing...call it a curse. those of us who come out of it with are wits about us will live. the other wimps will be advising hapless youngsters on how to get a hard on with women so that they may fulfill their parents desperate superficial dreams...against their true nature and leading everyone involved into perpetual despair.coolclump [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: hi there,i've always been a silent spectator of this grp. after reading ur reaction for gays marrying straight women, i've a humble comment/doubt to put forth:won't it be selfish of us(gays) if we deny getting married? cuz, the majority of the parents of gays are conservative and it's a matter of pride for them to get their sons/daughters married.and we're here on the earth only because of them. it's our parents who've given us an identity. aren't we obliged to go by their words as in case of marriage?can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy? and i'm sure gays will definitely have children after marriage. that'll also make our parents happy grandparents na..?well, this is not my principle or opinion. it's just a small doubt that has kept me in conflict for quite a long time. and i just wanna know how other gays 'll respond to this..i understand ur point also but would u or anyone substantiate ur point of view?how'll u tackle a question as this? would u prefer saying-'yes, i'm selfish' or 'no, i'll better make my conservative parents happy...'cheers..v--- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, Sonub Jalan [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:rent you contradicting yourself? "Sex is in the mind" and "still at heart we are gay"...who are you fooling? If you have indeed attained intimacy with your wife (proving that it is possible) then why the need to be here?I dont know under what circumstances you have had to marry and I will not like to sit in judgement of your actions. But this is definitely not the advise you can give to people who are under pressure to get married to a woman. What such people (people like me) need to know is that you will then be using a woman's life to experiment. You are living in denial about what you and she needs and someday you will not be able to live the pretence any longer.For those of you who are married...you can spend the rest of your life "adjusting" and "rubbing your wife's cheeks" or acknowledge the clossal mistake you have made and go your separate ways. Acknowledge that you are "not a perfect husband like heteros" and a hetro is what any straight woman deserves, while you are respnsible for denying her that.And then maybe some of you married guys have been lucky in that your wife has waited long enough for you to "get physical as if it means nothing to you as would between two friends". I know of women who kicked the living daylights out of their husbands for not being good enough. Lots of rounds to hospitals to cure their impotency. So dont you dare make your plight a general rule.Get real guys. While the honourable GB list jury is still out on whether true love is possible in the gay world, I believe it is better to be alone than to live a lie.I have fought really hard not to marry, being the only son in a very conservative family. It has affected my parents health and been the cause of a lot of tension in my family. But I would rather live with this than a wife with whom I need to develop intimacy and "Achieving sex with one women" against my instincts.abbey fifty [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Guys, I'd like to make two points:1. I share Sumeet Mehra's experiences and having done the deed, ( marrying )the best option is to try hard to adjust. And the best policy is NOT to try getting hard - just befriend your wife, get intimate in all other ways, and then very slowly, get physical as if it means nothing to you as would between two friends -like putting hand over shoulder, a kiss on the cheek and just holding hands. The important thing is to get so used to these things that you are not conscious. After a few months, you will be mentally relaxed enough for stirrings of physical feelings to emerge. Remember sex is in the mind. So relax and let time go. I
Re: g_b can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy?
yes our parents brought us to this earth and we are here because of them, but we have our own lives as well even ifi marry a girl i wont be able to satisfy her sexually very much and this would be an injustice to her, and marriage is an important institution like you are responsible to your parents, you are equally responsible to your wife, so in any case if you marry its injustice to your wife and if you dont it is to your parents, i would suggest that you work hard and become financially independent and then you tell your parents that you are gay and that you cant marry a girl if possible take your parents to a psychologist who can explain them things better. thats all i can say. and now since nothing can be done about us being gay we have no option but to act discreet and prudent. well i know i havent solved your problem but that all i could docoolclump [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: hi there,i've always been a silent spectator of this grp. after reading ur reaction for gays marrying straight women, i've a humble comment/doubt to put forth:won't it be selfish of us(gays) if we deny getting married? cuz, the majority of the parents of gays are conservative and it's a matter of pride for them to get their sons/daughters married.and we're here on the earth only because of them. it's our parents who've given us an identity. aren't we obliged to go by their words as in case of marriage?can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy? and i'm sure gays will definitely have children after marriage. that'll also make our parents happy grandparents na..?well, this is not my principle or opinion. it's just a small doubt that has kept me in conflict for quite a long time. and i just wanna know how other gays 'll respond to this..i understand ur point also but would u or anyone substantiate ur point of view?how'll u tackle a question as this? would u prefer saying-'yes, i'm selfish' or 'no, i'll better make my conservative parents happy...'cheers..v--- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, Sonub Jalan [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:rent you contradicting yourself? "Sex is in the mind" and "still at heart we are gay"...who are you fooling? If you have indeed attained intimacy with your wife (proving that it is possible) then why the need to be here?I dont know under what circumstances you have had to marry and I will not like to sit in judgement of your actions. But this is definitely not the advise you can give to people who are under pressure to get married to a woman. What such people (people like me) need to know is that you will then be using a woman's life to experiment. You are living in denial about what you and she needs and someday you will not be able to live the pretence any longer.For those of you who are married...you can spend the rest of your life "adjusting" and "rubbing your wife's cheeks" or acknowledge the clossal mistake you have made and go your separate ways. Acknowledge that you are "not a perfect husband like heteros" and a hetro is what any straight woman deserves, while you are respnsible for denying her that.And then maybe some of you married guys have been lucky in that your wife has waited long enough for you to "get physical as if it means nothing to you as would between two friends". I know of women who kicked the living daylights out of their husbands for not being good enough. Lots of rounds to hospitals to cure their impotency. So dont you dare make your plight a general rule.Get real guys. While the honourable GB list jury is still out on whether true love is possible in the gay world, I believe it is better to be alone than to live a lie.I have fought really hard not to marry, being the only son in a very conservative family. It has affected my parents health and been the cause of a lot of tension in my family. But I would rather live with this than a wife with whom I need to develop intimacy and "Achieving sex with one women" against my instincts.abbey fifty [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Guys, I'd like to make two points:1. I share Sumeet Mehra's experiences and having done the deed, ( marrying )the best option is to try hard to adjust. And the best policy is NOT to try getting hard - just befriend your wife, get intimate in all other ways, and then very slowly, get physical as if it means nothing to you as would between two friends -like putting hand over shoulder, a kiss on the cheek and just holding hands. The important thing is to get so used to these things that you are not conscious. After a few months, you will be mentally relaxed enough for stirrings of physical feelings to emerge. Remember sex is in the mind. So relax and let time go. I went through this phase and though not a perfect husband like heteros, we do get along.2. We are on the list because, still, at heart we are gay in that we are attracted physically by men. Achieving sex with one women means nothing much except that u get to know her so well, that one learns to get along, if you know what I mean. It
g_b can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy?
hi there, i've always been a silent spectator of this grp. after reading ur reaction for gays marrying straight women, i've a humble comment/doubt to put forth: won't it be selfish of us(gays) if we deny getting married? cuz, the majority of the parents of gays are conservative and it's a matter of pride for them to get their sons/daughters married. and we're here on the earth only because of them. it's our parents who've given us an identity. aren't we obliged to go by their words as in case of marriage? can't we make this sacrifice, to make our parents happy? and i'm sure gays will definitely have children after marriage. that'll also make our parents happy grandparents na..? well, this is not my principle or opinion. it's just a small doubt that has kept me in conflict for quite a long time. and i just wanna know how other gays 'll respond to this.. i understand ur point also but would u or anyone substantiate ur point of view? how'll u tackle a question as this? would u prefer saying-'yes, i'm selfish' or 'no, i'll better make my conservative parents happy...' cheers.. v --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, Sonub Jalan [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: rent you contradicting yourself? Sex is in the mind and still at heart we are gay...who are you fooling? If you have indeed attained intimacy with your wife (proving that it is possible) then why the need to be here? I dont know under what circumstances you have had to marry and I will not like to sit in judgement of your actions. But this is definitely not the advise you can give to people who are under pressure to get married to a woman. What such people (people like me) need to know is that you will then be using a woman's life to experiment. You are living in denial about what you and she needs and someday you will not be able to live the pretence any longer. For those of you who are married...you can spend the rest of your life adjusting and rubbing your wife's cheeks or acknowledge the clossal mistake you have made and go your separate ways. Acknowledge that you are not a perfect husband like heteros and a hetro is what any straight woman deserves, while you are respnsible for denying her that. And then maybe some of you married guys have been lucky in that your wife has waited long enough for you to get physical as if it means nothing to you as would between two friends. I know of women who kicked the living daylights out of their husbands for not being good enough. Lots of rounds to hospitals to cure their impotency. So dont you dare make your plight a general rule. Get real guys. While the honourable GB list jury is still out on whether true love is possible in the gay world, I believe it is better to be alone than to live a lie. I have fought really hard not to marry, being the only son in a very conservative family. It has affected my parents health and been the cause of a lot of tension in my family. But I would rather live with this than a wife with whom I need to develop intimacy and Achieving sex with one women against my instincts. abbey fifty [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Guys, I'd like to make two points: 1. I share Sumeet Mehra's experiences and having done the deed, ( marrying )the best option is to try hard to adjust. And the best policy is NOT to try getting hard - just befriend your wife, get intimate in all other ways, and then very slowly, get physical as if it means nothing to you as would between two friends -like putting hand over shoulder, a kiss on the cheek and just holding hands. The important thing is to get so used to these things that you are not conscious. After a few months, you will be mentally relaxed enough for stirrings of physical feelings to emerge. Remember sex is in the mind. So relax and let time go. I went through this phase and though not a perfect husband like heteros, we do get along. 2. We are on the list because, still, at heart we are gay in that we are attracted physically by men. Achieving sex with one women means nothing much except that u get to know her so well, that one learns to get along, if you know what I mean. It happens. But the feelings stop with that one women. Emotionally, we are very much on g-side. I am sure other married men will understand this. But I know others will not, and I have no wish to cross swords with them. My purpose of writing this is to give emotional support to arsg , Summet and others like them ( and me)because I am sure there will be acidic comments to the contrary. Warm regards, A --- Sonub Jalan [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: If you have accomplished what you have advised, what are you doing on this list? Sumeet Mehra [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Hi asrg! I am giving you just my point of view. I do understand in what difficult situation you are. Maybe you might have never thought that you would land up in such a situation. See its difficult but not impossible. You can lead a very good sex life with your wife. I
