Thanks for the careful reviews. These editorial comments have been
handled in the new version of the draft.
-- Forwarded message --
From: Francis Dupont [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Date: Sep 20, 2007 4:20 PM
Subject: review of draft-shacham-sipping-session-mobility-04.txt
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: [EMAIL PROTECTED], [EMAIL PROTECTED], [EMAIL PROTECTED]
, [EMAIL PROTECTED] ,[EMAIL PROTECTED]
I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.
Document: draft-shacham-sipping-session-mobility-04.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2007-09-20
IETF LC End Date: done
IESG Telechat date: on next agenda
Summary: Ready
Comments: I have a few editorial comments:
- ToC page 2 and 11 page 32: s/Acknowledgements/Acknowledgments/
- 1 page 4: s/teh/the/
- 3 page 5: s/SLP [18]Directory/SLP [18] Directory/
- 4 page 6: s/search e.g.,/search, e.g.,/ ?
- 5.2 page 9: please expand the AOR abbrev at its first use.
- 5.3.1.2 page 13: s/active endpoint, opening/active endpoint [by]
opening/ ?
- 5.4.1 page 18 and some others: some too long lines in the examples
- 5.4.1 page 19: s/5.3.2/5.4.2/ ? (note this is the only one which
is not
at 100% in the scope of the RFC Editor, so please check)
Regards
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
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