Dear Roland
Pooh, bah, sitting on a high throne in Toronto, I have to excuse you being
totally unaware of what has been going on in the United Kingdom and countries
outside Goa with respect to Kazars within our community.
The majority of young women in our community, residing in the United Kingdom,
have become highly educated and during their college days, at work or in the
real social and networking places like the English pub meet and marry English
men or foreign men, not Goans. This trend has been going on for many years
now and is definitely on the increase, most of my close friends are married to
English men and my two young nieces are married to English men. In addition, a
number of young women, highly educated or not, prefer not to marry at all,
further diminishing the number of women in our community available for marriage
to
our young men here.
In the past, men in our community residing in the United Kingdom also tended to
marry outside the community but I have noticed this trend has started to
diminish.
The consequence of all this is that quite a large proportion of men in our
community, including professionals, go to Goa to seek a bride, perhaps
something quite
extraordinary to you in the present world, but true all the same. These are not
arranged marriages in the true sense of the word, but "introductions" to some
suitable women. Within days they are engaged and then either marry in Goa and
bring their brides to the United Kingdom or marry here in the United Kingdom.
Would you say these men are incapable of finding a bride or needing a helping
hand?
During my last two trips to Goa, I have been advised that in Goa the age limit
there is for most men and women to marry before they are 30, after that,
jokingly I
am told they are "finished", not sure what this means, can only assume that
this means "finished" for marriage.
You have nothing to mock or chide Gabe about what he wrote, he is echoing what
a lot of responsible and loving parents are hoping for their children, the
desire
to see them settle down. As a father, he has the best interests of his sons at
heart, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. His sons are both
professionals,
holding good jobs but maybe for him that is not everything in life, he wants to
see his sons settle down with a wife, a family and a home. It is love that
makes the
world go round, not a good job, expensive car or a big house!
Internet dating and marriage agencies are flourishing all over the place and
cashing in on this niche market. Our young professionals are working such long
hours, they do not find time to meet the women of their dreams!
Cynthia Fernandes is at least helping to address this situation in the Gulf
area and using the valuable service goanet has to offer. In London, United
Kingdom,
the Goan village organisations and the Goan Chaplaincy play an important role
for our people to meet and greet with possible introductions.
Rose Fernandes
Thornton Heath, Surrey, United Kingdom
29 September 2012
