[Hornlist] Re: French Horn Coaching
Hello Student Parent, Now, kindest of greetonings to you and I applaud your very wisest of decisions for your son to make the studyings of the horn with me as I am the greatest of horn teachers in the tri-state area and I am the mostest of happies for your son to come to my United State of New Jersey for three months study so in order for this to happen I must hear your son play the horn, specifically the Conn horn, so he must send me a recording of his mostest perfected performance of Kopprasch No. 1 on his Conn horn and I will accept him as a student if this is satisfactory and then he will have 8 hours a day private instruction from me except on Mondays and Thursdays when I am teaching pest control at Exit 2 Community College for three months in fundamentals, techniques and musicianships of all Conn horns and he will learn all etudes, concertos, excerpts and ensembles perfectly and I guarantee that when he returns to Europe he will be the greatest of Conn Artists ever so now you must send me the monies up front for his tuitions and since you are from Netherland and I am from New Jersey, I can not trust you so you must make arrangements to deliver $10,000 cash US monies in $20 bills and/or gold coins to me so I am assuming your elder brother will bring me the payments very soon so I await your further correspondences and to receiving the attached mp3 file or otherwise of your son's most perfect performance of Kopprasch No. 1 on his Conn horn and we will make the rapidest of progresses then with our future arrangements, both musical and monetarial! Kindestest of Greetonings and Mostest of Sincerelies, Prof. I. M. Gestopftmitscheist Principal 8th horn and Principal 4th Wagner Tuber, Schplittenotendorf am Oedland Staatsoper und Philharmoniker, (ret.) Solo Horn, Exit 2 Brass Quintet Hornist, Broken Winds WW Quintet Solo 4th Horn (Leader, call me for bookings), Smirnoff Horn Quartet Assistant Associate Principal Mellophone, NJ Turnpike Authority Drum and Bugle Corps, The Phantom Lane Changers Hornist as Needed, L'Ensemble du Chambre des Palourdes Principal Natural Horn, I Soloisti di Feces Principal Baroque and Hunting Horn, Camarata Vongoleforte Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn and Pest Control, Exit 2 Community College, Exit 2, NJ Author, The Kopprasch Connection, Kopprasch for Fun and Profit, Kopprasch for the New Millenium: Where Do you Fit In? Hooked on Hornonics, and What If Saddam Had Given Ouday and Qusay Olds Ambassador or Conn Pan American Single F Horns and a Kopprasch Book Instead of AK 47's, Booze and Porn? Founder, Director and CEO, Universal Institute for the Study, Preservation and Dissemination of Kopprasch Throughout the Solar System Founder and Guru Extraordinaire, Hornaholics Anonymous Grand Poobah of the Koppraschian Kult Director and Program Manager, The All Kopprasch Channel (AKC), Kopprasch Public Radio (KPR) Host of The Kopprasch Factor on AKC and All Kopprasch Considered on KPR Founder of Kopprasch Depot, your one stop shop for all you need! Interplanetarily Known Soloist and Artist of Record Exclusive Bundy, Carl Fischer, Olds Ambassador, Sansone and Conn Artist Who Does Not Get His Horns For Free Phone: yes Fax: yes E-mail: yes Website: no You can pick your Kopprasch and you can pick your nose but you can't wipe your Kopprasch on the couch. PS: PayPal is OK as well for payment but cash or gold coins are preferred methods so add 3% handling fee if using the PayPal method. In a message dated 9/14/2005 8:26:41 AM Eastern Daylight Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Hello Teacher, Good day to you.My name is Raymond Shaw based in Netherland.My son(20years of age) will be coming to the united state for a 3(Three) month holiday but will stay with my elder brother.While he his there,i want him to attend your teaching class on French Horn found on the hornplayer.net .I want you to e-mail me the modalty of the programme,rate/hr,number of hours a day,your location ,duration of the lesson and other things necessary for a smooth learning.Please get back to me asap.Send your reply to my eramail box ( [EMAIL PROTECTED] (mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]) ) .Meanwhile,i would be greatful if you could increase your hours and days of teaching him.Let me know your price/hour and i would offer you additional just for you to give my son the best. Raymond Shaw ___ post: horn@music.memphis.edu unsubscribe or set options at http://music2.memphis.edu/mailman/options/horn/archive%40jab.org
RE: [Hornlist] Re: French Horn Coaching
I would recommend accepting a payment of $9,980 as payments of $10,000 have to be reported. (lol) By the way his email address indicates he is from South Africa as ZA is the International Standard Code for South Africa. At least a 3 iron from the Netherlands. Regards, Joe -Original Message- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Wednesday, September 14, 2005 5:40 PM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: [Hornlist] Re: French Horn Coaching Hello Student Parent, Now, kindest of greetonings to you and I applaud your very wisest of decisions for your son to make the studyings of the horn with me as I am the greatest of horn teachers in the tri-state area and I am the mostest of happies for your son to come to my United State of New Jersey for three months study so in order for this to happen I must hear your son play the horn, specifically the Conn horn, so he must send me a recording of his mostest perfected performance of Kopprasch No. 1 on his Conn horn and I will accept him as a student if this is satisfactory and then he will have 8 hours a day private instruction from me except on Mondays and Thursdays when I am teaching pest control at Exit 2 Community College for three months in fundamentals, techniques and musicianships of all Conn horns and he will learn all etudes, concertos, excerpts and ensembles perfectly and I guarantee that when he returns to Europe he will be the greatest of Conn Artists ever so now you must send me the monies up front for his tuitions and since you are from Netherland and I am from New Jersey, I can not trust you so you must make arrangements to deliver $10,000 cash US monies in $20 bills and/or gold coins to me so I am assuming your elder brother will bring me the payments very soon so I await your further correspondences and to receiving the attached mp3 file or otherwise of your son's most perfect performance of Kopprasch No. 1 on his Conn horn and we will make the rapidest of progresses then with our future arrangements, both musical and monetarial! Kindestest of Greetonings and Mostest of Sincerelies, Prof. I. M. Gestopftmitscheist Principal 8th horn and Principal 4th Wagner Tuber, Schplittenotendorf am Oedland Staatsoper und Philharmoniker, (ret.) Solo Horn, Exit 2 Brass Quintet Hornist, Broken Winds WW Quintet Solo 4th Horn (Leader, call me for bookings), Smirnoff Horn Quartet Assistant Associate Principal Mellophone, NJ Turnpike Authority Drum and Bugle Corps, The Phantom Lane Changers Hornist as Needed, L'Ensemble du Chambre des Palourdes Principal Natural Horn, I Soloisti di Feces Principal Baroque and Hunting Horn, Camarata Vongoleforte Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn and Pest Control, Exit 2 Community College, Exit 2, NJ Author, The Kopprasch Connection, Kopprasch for Fun and Profit, Kopprasch for the New Millenium: Where Do you Fit In? Hooked on Hornonics, and What If Saddam Had Given Ouday and Qusay Olds Ambassador or Conn Pan American Single F Horns and a Kopprasch Book Instead of AK 47's, Booze and Porn? Founder, Director and CEO, Universal Institute for the Study, Preservation and Dissemination of Kopprasch Throughout the Solar System Founder and Guru Extraordinaire, Hornaholics Anonymous Grand Poobah of the Koppraschian Kult Director and Program Manager, The All Kopprasch Channel (AKC), Kopprasch Public Radio (KPR) Host of The Kopprasch Factor on AKC and All Kopprasch Considered on KPR Founder of Kopprasch Depot, your one stop shop for all you need! Interplanetarily Known Soloist and Artist of Record Exclusive Bundy, Carl Fischer, Olds Ambassador, Sansone and Conn Artist Who Does Not Get His Horns For Free Phone: yes Fax: yes E-mail: yes Website: no You can pick your Kopprasch and you can pick your nose but you can't wipe your Kopprasch on the couch. PS: PayPal is OK as well for payment but cash or gold coins are preferred methods so add 3% handling fee if using the PayPal method. In a message dated 9/14/2005 8:26:41 AM Eastern Daylight Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Hello Teacher, Good day to you.My name is Raymond Shaw based in Netherland.My son(20years of age) will be coming to the united state for a 3(Three) month holiday but will stay with my elder brother.While he his there,i want him to attend your teaching class on French Horn found on the hornplayer.net .I want you to e-mail me the modalty of the programme,rate/hr,number of hours a day,your location ,duration of the lesson and other things necessary for a smooth learning.Please get back to me asap.Send your reply to my eramail box ( [EMAIL PROTECTED] (mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]) ) .Meanwhile,i would be greatful if you could increase your hours and days of teaching him.Let me know your price/hour and i would offer you additional just for you to give my son the best. Raymond Shaw
[Hornlist] Re: French Horn Coaching
My dearest HORNTRASH, I would be glad to accept this student for you, except that I have spent all of my money setting up accounts so I can transfer money from a deposed Nigerian Prime Minister who hoarded cash in a bank in Titticaca and wants to get it here in the US. I mortgaged my house and sold all of my horns (I am so, so good that I no longer need a horn, as described in the Schmutzin method.). As soon as I get my huge fortune in transfer fees as promised I will be able to unhock one of my horns, get a place to live and I can teach again. scottito PS: As usual, a very amusing post! ___ post: horn@music.memphis.edu unsubscribe or set options at http://music2.memphis.edu/mailman/options/horn/archive%40jab.org
