from:"Momchill Zarev"

Title: FW: klasika



ä×ÁÍÁ ÐÒÉÑÔÅÌÉ ÒÁÚÇÏ×ÁÒÑÔ:   - ðÒÅÄÓÔÁ×ÑÛ ÌÉ ÓÉ, ×ÒßÝÁÍ ÓÅ ×ËßÝÉ, ÏÔ×ÁÒÑÍ ÇÁÒÄÅÒÏÂÁ, 
Á ÔÁÍ - ÇÏÌ   ÍßÖ!   - áÍÉ ÎÉÝÏ ÎÏ×Ï ÐÏÄ ÓÌßÎÃÅÔÏ - ËÁÚÁÌ ÄÒÕÇÉÑÔ. 
  - ëÁË ÔÁËÁ ÎÉÝÏ ÎÏ×Ï??? áÍÁ ÁÚ ÎÅ ÓßÍ 
ÖÅÎÅÎ

[JOKES] Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2002 17:03:59 +0300

Title: FW: oshte noshtni trepachi



äÉÁÌÏÇ: åÄÉÎ ÓÅ 
ÏÂÁÖÄÁ ÎÁ ÐÒÉÑÔÅÌÑ ÓÉ, ÔÅÌÅÆÏÎÁ ×ÄÉÇÁ ÍÁÊËÁ ÍÕ: 
- éÚ×ÉÎÅÔÅ, é×ÁÎ ×ËßÝÉ ÌÉ Å? - îÅ, é×ÁÎ ×ÅÞÅ ÇÏ ÎÑÍÁ ... ÎÁÐÕÓÎÁ ÎÁÛÉÑ Ó×ÑÔ ... 
- ëáë÷ï ??? äá îå å õíòñì  - îÅ ... ÷ËÌÀÞÉ ÓÅ × éÎÔÅÒÎÅÔ ...

[JOKES] klasika

Title: FW: klasika



ä×ÁÍÁ ÐÒÉÑÔÅÌÉ ÒÁÚÇÏ×ÁÒÑÔ:   - ðÒÅÄÓÔÁ×ÑÛ ÌÉ ÓÉ, ×ÒßÝÁÍ ÓÅ ×ËßÝÉ, ÏÔ×ÁÒÑÍ ÇÁÒÄÅÒÏÂÁ, 
Á ÔÁÍ - ÇÏÌ   ÍßÖ!   - áÍÉ ÎÉÝÏ ÎÏ×Ï ÐÏÄ ÓÌßÎÃÅÔÏ - ËÁÚÁÌ ÄÒÕÇÉÑÔ. 
  - ëÁË ÔÁËÁ ÎÉÝÏ ÎÏ×Ï??? áÍÁ ÁÚ ÎÅ ÓßÍ 
ÖÅÎÅÎ

[JOKES] Jaser Arafat

Title: FW: Jaser Arafat



syobshtenie po radioto  "Zhenata na Jaser Arafat rodila triznaci" Vednaga otgovornost za tova poeli 3 arabski teroristichni 
grupirovki

[JOKES] данъчна реформа




ëaË×Ï Å ÔÏ×Á "ÅÄÉÎ ÂÉÔ"? åÄÉÎ ÂÁÊÔ ÍÉÎÕÓ 
ÄÁÎßÃÉÔÅ.

[JOKES] Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2002 16:50:22 +0300

Title: FW: Evrei :)



ïÔÉ×ÁÔ Ä×ÁÍÁ Å×ÒÅÉ × ÁÄÍÉÎÉÓÔÒÁÃÉÑÔÁ ÎÁ 
ÐÒÉÓÔÁÎÉÝÅÔÏ. - éÓËÁÍÅ ÄÁ ÐÏÒÁÂÏÔÉÍ ÍÁÌËÏ, 
ÎÑÍÁ ÌÉ ÎÑËÁË×Á ÒÁÂÏÔÁ ÚÁ ÎÁÓ? - þÕÄÅÓÎÏ, ÉÍÁ 
ÒÁÂÏÔÁ! ôÒÑÂ×Á ÄÁ ÓÅ ÂÏÑÄÉÓÁ ÅÄÉÎ ÐÁÒÁÈÏÄ. ðÏÄÐÉÓÁÌÉ ÄÏÇÏ×ÏÒÁ, ÚÁÐÏÞÎÁÌÉ Å×ÒÅÉÔÅ ÄÁ ÒÁÂÏÔÑÔ. óÌÅÄ Ä×Á ÄÎÉ ÏÔÉ×ÁÔ × ÏÆÉÓÁ: - ó×ßÒÛÉÈÍÅ ÒÁÂÏÔÁÔÁ, ÐÌÁÔÅÔÅ ÎÉ ÓÅÇÁ. - ëÁË ÔÁËÁ ÓÔÅ Ó×ßÒÛÉÌÉ ×ÓÉÞËÏ?! îÅÝÏ ÍÎÏÇÏ ÂßÒÚÏ ... ýÅ ÉÄÅÍ ÄÁ 
ÐÒÏ×ÅÒÅÉÍ... ïÔÉ×ÁÔ ÐÒÉ ÐÁÒÁÈÏÄÁ - ÄÅÊÓÔ×ÉÔÅÌÎÏ, ×ÓÉÞËÏ ÂÏÑÄÉÓÁÎÏ. ïÂÉËÁÌÑÔ ÇÏ 
ÏÔ ÄÒÕÇÁÔÁ ÓÔÒÁÎÁ - ÝÏ ÚÁ ÇÌÕÐÏÓÔÉ - ÎÑÍÁ É 
ÓÌÅÄÁ ÏÔ ÂÏÑÄÉÓ×ÁÎÅ. ðÉÔÁÔ Å×ÒÅÉÔÅ: 
- ëÁË ÍÏÖÅÔÅ ÄÁ ÇÏ×ÏÒÉÔÅ, ÞÅ ÓÔÅ Ó×ßÒÛÉÌÉ ×ÓÉÞËÏ? á 
ÔÏ×Á ËÁË×Ï Å? - ÷ÓÉÞËÏ Å ÐÏ ÄÏÇÏ×ÏÒ. 
- íÏÌÑ?? - áÍÉ, 
ÞÅÔÅÔÅ ÓÁÍÉ: îÉÅ, Ä×ÁÍÁ Å×ÒÅÉ ÏÔ ÅÄÎÁ ÓÔÒÁÎÁ É ÁÄÍÉÎÉÓÔÒÁÃÉÑÔÁ ÎÁ ÐÒÉÓÔÁÎÉÝÅÔÏ ÏÔ ÄÒÕÇÁ ÓÔÒÁÎÁ, ÓÅ ÚÁÄßÌÖÁ×ÁÍÅ ÄÁ ÂÏÑÄÉÓÁÍÅ 
ÐÁÒÁÈÏÄÁ ...

[JOKES] Kak se pecheli jenskoto syrce :)

Title: FW: Kak se pecheli jenskoto syrce :)



 
<>

[JOKES] Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2002 16:48:10 +0300

Title: FW: razmazwasht



îÏ×ÉÎÉ: ÷ÞÅÒÁ 
ÁÒÁÂÓËÉ ÔÅÒÏÒÉÓÔ ÐÏÄÈ×ßÒÌÉÌ × ÉÚÒÁÅÌÓËÉ ÒÅÓÔÏÒÁÎÔ 
Ó×ÉÎÑ!

[JOKES] Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2002 16:47:34 +0300

Title: FW: oshte edin :)



ïÂÑ×Á × ÍÅÓÔÅÎ ×ÅÓÔÎÉË: 
  "ôßÒÓÑ ÐÒÏÆÅÓÉÏÎÁÌÎÁ ÇÁÄÁÔÅÌËÁ. 
  ôÅÌÅÆÏÎÁ É ÁÄÒÅÓÁ ÂÉ ÔÒÑÂ×ÁÌÏ ÄÁ ÓÁ ×É 
ÉÚ×ÅÓÔÎÉ..."

[JOKES] Dialog

Title: FW: Dialog



äÉÁÌÏÇ: - 
ëÁÐÉÔÁÎÅ! îÁ ËÏÒÁÂÁ ÉÍÁ ÐÒÏÂÏÊÎÁ! - 
ëßÄÅ? - îÁ ÌÅ×ÉÑ ÂÏÒÄ, ÐÏÄ 
×ÁÔÅÒÌÉÎÉÑÔÁ! - çÏÌÑÍÁ ÌÉ Å 
ÐÒÏÂÏÊÎÁÔÁ? - íÎÏÇÏ! - íÏÖÅÍ ÌÉ ÄÁ Ñ ÚÁÐÕÛÉÍ? - 
îÅ ÍÉÓÌÑ, ËÁÐÉÔÁÎÅ! - çÏÔ×ÅÔÅ ÓÐÁÓÉÔÅÌÎÉÔÅ 
ÌÏÄËÉ! - îÑÍÁÍÅ ÔÁËÉ×Á... - á ËÁË×Ï ÉÍÁÍÅ? - 
óÐÁÓÉÔÅÌÎÁ ÖÉÌÅÔËÁ, ÎÏ ÓÁÍÏ ÅÄÎÁ ... ëÁÐÉÔÁÎßÔ ÍÉÇÏÍ ÎÁ×ÌÉÞÁ ÖÉÌÅÔËÁÔÁ É ÓËÁÞÁ ÚÁÄ ÂÏÒÄÁ. - åÊ, ËÁÐÉÔÁÎÅ! óÔÏÊ! áÂÅ ÐßÒ×É ÁÐÒÉÌ ÓÍÅ ÄÎÅÓËÁ ÂÅ! äÁ, 
ÐÉÞÏ×Å, ÍÁÊ ÞÅ ÛÅÇÁÔÁ ÔÏÚÉ ÐßÔ ÎÅ ÎÉ ÓÅ 
ÏÔÄÁÄÅ. ëÁË×Ï ÝÅ ËÁÖÅÍ ÎÁ ÚÅÍÑÔÁ ÓÅÇÁ... "ëÁË×Á ×ÁÔÅÒÌÉÎÉÑ ÂÅ, ËÁËß× ËÏÒÁÂ ÂÅ, ÍÁÁ ÍÕ ÄÅÂÁ!" - ÐÓÕ×ÁÛÅ 
ËÁÐÉÔÁÎÁ ÎÁ ÓÁÍÏÌÅÔÁ, ÓÔÒÅÍÉÔÅÌÎÏ 
ÐÒÉÂÌÉÖÁ×ÁÊËÉ ÓÅ ËßÍ ÚÅÍÑÔÁ ...

[JOKES] Edin voenen

Title: FW: Edin voenen

1943 ÇÏÄÉÎÁ. ÷ íÏÓË×Á × ÝÁÂÁ ÎÁ óÔÁÌÉÎ ÓÅ ÉÚÑÓÎÑ×Á,
ÞÅ ÓÒÅÄ ÂÏÊÃÉÔÅ ÎÁ ÆÒÏÎÔÁ ÎÑÍÁ ÕÚÂÅËÉ.
÷ÅÄÎÁÇÁ ÓÌÅÄ×Á ÚÁÐÏ×ÅÄ ÄÁ ÓÅ ÓÆÏÒÍÉÒÁ ÕÚÂÅËÓËÁ ÄÉ×ÉÚÉÑ É ÄÁ ÓÅ ÐÒÁÔÉ ÎÁ ÆÒÏÎÔÁ. òÅÞÅÎÏ-ÓÔÏÒÅÎÏ. íÉÎÁ×Á ÓÅ ÄÅÎ, Ä×Á, ÓÅÄÍÉÃÁ, ÕÚÂÅËÉÔÅ ÓÉ ÈÏÄÑÔ ÎÁ ÇÏÓÔÉ, ÑÄÁÔ
ÐÌÏ×, ÐÉÑÔ ÞÁÊ, Ó Ä×Å ÄÕÍÉ - ÎÅ ×ÏÀ×ÁÔ.
úëðþ-ÔÏ ÉÚ×ÉË×Á ÓÔÁÒÅÊÛÉÎÁÔÁ: - úÁÝÏ ÂÏÊÃÉÔÅ ÎÅ ×ÏÀ×ÁÔ? - úëðþ-ÁËÁ, ÕÚÂÅËÉÔÅ ÓÁ ÔÁËß× ÎÁÒÏÄ,
ÞÅ ÚÁ ÄÁ Ó×ßÒÛÁÔ ÒÁÂÏÔÁ, ÔÒÑÂ×Á ÄÁ ÇÉ
ÚÁÉÎÔÅÒÅÓÕ×ÁÛ, ÎÁÐÒÉÍÅÒ, ÁËÏ ÚÁ ×ÓÅËÉ ÕÂÉÔ ÆÁÛÉÓÔ ÐÌÁÝÁÛ ÐÏ 3 ÒÕÂÌÉ, ÔÅ ÝÅ ×ÏÀ×ÁÔ. ëÁÚÁÎÁ ÄÕÍÁ - È×ßÒÌÅÎ ËÁÍßË. óÌÅÄ ÓÅÄÍÉÃÁ ÕÚÂÅËÉÔÅ ÚÁÐÏÞÎÁÌÉ ÄÁ
ÐÒÅÎÁÓÑÔ ÔÒÕÐÏ×ÅÔÅ ÎÁ ÕÂÉÔÉÔÅ ÆÁÛÉÓÔÉ Ó
ÅÛÅÌÏÎÉ. úëðþ-ÔÏ ÓÉ ÎÁÐÒÁ×ÉÌ ÓÍÅÔËÁ, ÞÅ ÎÑÍÁ
ÄÁ ÉÚÌÅÚÅ ÓÍÅÔËÁÔÁ Ó ÐÁÒÉÔÅ, ÓÔÒÏÉÌ ×ÓÉÞËÉ É
ËÁÚÁÌ: "äÒÕÇÁÒÉ ÕÚÂÅËÉ, ÔßÊ ËÁÔÏ × ÓÔÒÁÎÁÔÁ ÉÍÁ ÎÅÄÏÓÔÉÇ ÎÁ ÓÒÅÄÓÔ×Á, ÏÔÓÅÇÁ ÎÁÔÁÔßË ÍÏÖÅÍ ÄÁ ÐÌÁÝÁÍÅ ÓÁÍÏ ÐÏ ÒÕÂÌÁ
É ÐÏÌÏ×ÉÎÁ ÚÁ ÆÁÛÉÓÔ". éÚÓÔßÐÉÌ ÓÅ ÕÚÂÅËÓËÉÑ
ÓÔÁÒÅÊÛÉÎÁ: "úëðþ-ÁËÁ, ÎÉÅ ×ÓÉÞËÏ ÒÁÚÂÉÒÁÍÅ,
ÎÏ ÐÏ ÒÕÂÌÁ É ÐÏÌÏ×ÉÎÁ ÉÚÏÂÝÏ ÎÑÍÁ ÄÁ ÓÔÁÎÅ, ÎÉÅ ÓÁÍÉÔÅ ÇÉ ×ÚÉÍÁÍÅ ÏÔ ÐÁÒÔÉÚÁÎÉÔÅ ÚÁ ÐÏ 2 ÒÕÂÌÉ ÐÁÒÞÅÔÏ..."
òÅÞÎÉË: ÁËÁ -
Õ×ÁÖÉÔÅÌÎÏ ÏÂÒßÝÅÎÉÅ ÎÁ ÎÁÒÏÄÉÔÅ ÏÔ ÔÀÒËÓËÉ ÐÒÏÉÚÈÏÄ × Åx-USSR, ÏÔÇÏ×ÁÒÑ ÎÁ ÎÁÛÅÔÏ "ÁÇÁ" ÏÔ ÅÄÎÏ ×ÒÅÍÅ; ðÌÏ× Å ÎÁÃÉÏÎÁÌÎÏ ÑÓÔÉÅ Ó ÏÒÉÚ; õÚÂÅËÉÔÅ ÓÐÏËÏÊÎÏ ÍÏÇÁÔ ÄÁ ÓÅ ÐÒÉÒÁ×ÎÑÔ ÐÏ ÎÒÁ×É ËßÍ ÎÁÛÉÔÅ ÍÁÎ...
ÐÁÒÄÏÎ òïíé :) á
ËÏÊÔÏ ÎÅ ÚÎÁÅ ËÁË×Ï Å úëðþ ... ÉÚÏÂÝÏ ÎÑÍÁ ÄÁ ÒÁÚÂÅÒÅ ×ÉÃÁ

[JOKES] shit list




The Ghost Shit The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the 
toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl. The Clean Shit The 
kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on 
the toilet paper. The Wet Shit You wipe your ass fifty times and it 
still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and 
your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks. 
The Second Wave Shit This shit happens when you've finished, your 
pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more. 
The Brain Hemorrahage Through Your Nose Shit Also known as "Pop a 
Vein in Your Forehead Shit". You have to strain so much to get it out that you 
turn purple and practically have a stroke. The Corn Shit No 
explanation necessary. The Lincoln Log Shit The kind of shit that's 
so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into 
little pieces with the toilet brush. The Nororius Drinker Shit The 
kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most 
noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after 
you flush. The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit The kind where 
you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit 
on the toilet, cramped and farting. The Wet Cheeks Shit Also known 
as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that 
your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water. The Liquid Shit 
That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, 
splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically 
burns your tender poop-chute. The Mexican Food Shit A class all its 
own. The Crowd Pleaser This shit is so intriguing in size and/or 
appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing. The Mood 
Enhancer This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby 
allowing you to be your old self again. The Ritual This shit occurs 
at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper. 
The Guinness Book Of Records Shit A shit so noteworthy it should be 
recorded for future generations. The Aftershock Shit This shit has 
an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven 
hours is affected. The "Honeymoon's Over" Shit This is any shit 
created in the presence of another person. The Groaner A shit so 
huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance. The Floater 
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface 
after many flushings. The Ranger A shit which refuses to let go. It 
is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often 
the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper. 
The Phantom Shit This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one 
will admit to putting it there. The Peek-A-Boo Shit Now you see it, 
now you don't. This shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle 
control. The Bombshell A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a 
time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during lovemaking or a root 
canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities. The Snake Charmer 
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening 
position - usually harmless. The Olympic Shit This shit occurs 
exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are 
entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit. The 
Back-To-Nature Shit This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited 
either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car. 
The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit An adorable collection of small turds 
in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit. 
Premeditated Shit Laxative induced. Doesn't count. 
Shitzopherenia Fear of shitting - can be fatal! Energizer 
Vs. Duracell Shit Also known as a "Still Going" shit. The Power Dump 
Shit The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when 
you're done. The Liquid Plumber Shit This kind of shit is so big it 
plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have 
followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Shit.) The Spinal Tap Shit 
The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be 
coming out sideways. The "I Think I'm Giving Birth Through My Asshole" 
Shit Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size 
of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the 
rectum for some time afterwards. The Porridge Shit The type that 
comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) 
flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there 
helpless. The "I'm Going To Chew My Food Better" Shit When the bag 
of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way 
out in the morning. The "I

[JOKES] Edna misyl

Title: FW: Edna misyl



÷ßÐÒÏÓ: ëÏÊ Å ×ÉÖÄÁÌ ÎÁÊ-ÍÎÏÇÏ ÐÏÒÎÏ ÎÁ 
Ó×ÅÔÁ? ïÔÇÏ×ÏÒ: Internet Explorer

[JOKES] Date: Tue, 30 Jul 2002 14:40:23 +0300

2002-07-30 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev



<><><><>

[JOKES] poliglot

2002-07-25 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev


http://www.undergroundnews.com/files/texts/staff/Swears%20In%20All%20Languag
es.txt

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* send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
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* List info and instructions are available at 
http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html
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[JOKES] Date: Wed, 24 Jul 2002 14:03:40 +0300

2002-07-24 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and 
takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then 
casually looks at his watch for a moment. 
The women notices this and asks, "Is your date 
running late?" 
"No," he replies, "Q has just given me this 
state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it." 
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art 
watch? What's so special about it?" 
Bond explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me 
telepathically." 
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?" 

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..." 

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be 
broken because I am wearing panties!" 
Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody 
thing's an hour fast."

[JOKES] Date: Wed, 24 Jul 2002 09:21:35 +0300

2002-07-23 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://fun.hit.bg/i/477Skeleton.jpg

[JOKES] Date: Mon, 22 Jul 2002 14:26:13 +0300

2002-07-22 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.sendafriend.com/memorytest/

[JOKES] Date: Mon, 22 Jul 2002 09:30:52 +0300

2002-07-21 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




óÔÁÒÁ ÄÅÔÓËÁ ÐÒÉËÁÚËÁ óÎÅÓÌÁ ËÏËÏÛËÁÔÁ ÑÊÞÉÃÅ 
... õÄÒÑÌ ÇÏ ÄÑÄÏÔÏ - ÎÅ ÇÏ ÓÞÕÐÉÌ, ÕÄÒÑÌÁ ÂÁÂÁÔÁ - ÎÅ ÇÏ ÓÞÕÐÉÌÁ. 
âÑÇÁÌÁ ÍÉÛËÁÔÁ - ÂÕÔÎÁÌÁ ÇÏ Ó ÏÐÁÛËÁÔÁ, ÑÊÞÉÃÅÔÏ ÐÁÄÎÁÌÏ É îå ÓÅ 
ÓÞÕÐÉÌÏ. ðÌÁÞÅ ÄÑÄÏÔÏ, ÐÌÁÞÅ ÂÁÂÁÔÁ, Á ËÏËÏÛÞÉÃÁÔÁ ÉÍ ËÁÚ×Á: "îÑËÏÊ 
ÓÍÏÔÁÎÑË Å ÎÁÍÁÚÁÌ ÑÊÃÅÔÏ Ó âÌÅÎÄ Á ÍÅÄ"

[JOKES] The WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ

2002-07-12 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




za kojto ne se e sprawil s testa, otgovorite po 
kasno 
The WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ1.  How long did 
the Hundred Years War last?2.  Which country makes Panama 
hats?3.  From which animal do we get catgut?4.  In which month 
do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?5.  What is a camel's 
hair brush made of?6.  The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named 
after what animal?7.  What was King George VI's first name?8.  
What colour is the purple finch?9.  Where are Chinese gooseberries 
from?10. How long did the Thirty Years War last?

[JOKES] Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2002 16:25:03 +0300

2002-07-11 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




íÁÊËÁ ÇÏ×ÏÒÉ Ó ÄßÝÅÒÑ ÓÉ:- ëÁË ÓÅ ÒÁÚ×É×ÁÔ 
ÎÅÝÁÔÁ Ó ÐÒÉÑÔÅÌÑ ÔÉ?- áÍÉ ÉÍÁÍÅ ÒÁÚÎÉ ÄÒÅÂÎÉ ÓÐÏÒÏ×Å... áÚ ÉÓËÁÍ ÎÁ 
Ó×ÁÔÂÁÔÁ ÄÁ ÓßÍ Ó ÂÑÌÁ ÒÏËÌÑ, Á ÔÏÊ ÎÅ ÉÓËÁ ÄÁ ÓÅ 
ÖÅÎÉÍ.

[JOKES] Shopi

2002-07-11 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev





Kodeks na Shopa.doc
Description: MS-Word document

[JOKES] Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2002 09:26:26 +0300

2002-07-10 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://momchill.sirma.bg/fun/What 
you ever wanted at IBM.pps

[JOKES] herbarij

2002-07-08 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




ðÒÅÄÉ: ÓßÂÅÒÅÛ ÈÅÒÂÁÒÉÊ, ÉÚÓÕÛÉÛ, ÄÏÎÅÓÅÛ ÎÁ 
ÕÞÉÔÅÌËÁÔÁ, ÔÑ ÚÁ ÔÏ×Á ÔÉ ÐÉÛÅ ÛÅÓÔÉÃÁ. òÁÄÏÓÔÎÏ. á ÓÅÇÁ: ÓßÂÅÒÅÛ, ÉÚÓÕÛÉÛ É 
ÒÁÄÏÓÔÎÏ. âÅÚ ÕÞÉÔÅÌËÁ, ÂÅÚ ÛÅÓÔÉÃÁ.

[JOKES] Date: Thu, 4 Jul 2002 12:05:53 +0300

2002-07-04 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://momchill.sirma.bg/fun/urinalaction.mpeg

[JOKES] Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 09:35:25 +0300

2002-06-30 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev

<>

[JOKES] All about toasters

2002-06-28 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




If IBM made toasters...They would want one big 
toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM 
would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters.
 
If Xerox made toasters...You could toast 
one-sided or double-sided.Successive slices would get lighter and 
lighter.The toaster would jam your bread for you.
 
If Radio Shack made toasters...The staff would 
sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. Or you could buy all the 
parts to build your own toaster.
 
If University of Waterloo made toasters...They 
would immediately spin off a company called WatToast.
 
If ParcPlace made toasters...Their OO building 
block system would be called EGGO.
 
If Oracle made toasters...They'd claim their 
toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got 
it home you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the 
Croissant Extension was three years away, and that indeed the whole 
appliance was just blowing smoke.
 
If Sun made toasters...The toast would burn 
often, but you could get a really good cuppa Java.
 
Does DEC still make toasters?...They made good 
toasters in the '80s, didn't they?
 
If Hewlett-Packard made toasters...They would 
market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast and gives you 
regular bread.
 
If Tandem made toasters...You could make toast 
24 hours a day, and if a piece got burned the toaster would automatically 
toast you a new one.
 
If Thinking Machines made toasters...You would 
be able to toast 64,000 pieces of bread at the same time.
 
If Cray made toasters...They would cost $16 
million but would be faster than any other single-slice toaster in the 
world.
 
If The Rand Corporation made toasters...It 
would be a large, perfectly smooth and seamless black cube. Every morning 
there would be a piece of toast on top of it. Their service department would 
have an unlisted phone number, and the blueprints for the box would be 
highly classified government documents. The X-Files would have an episode 
about it.
 
If the NSA made toasters...Your toaster would 
have a secret trap door that only the NSA could access in case they needed 
to get at your toast for reasons of national security.
 
If Sony made toasters...The ToastMan, which 
would be barely larger than the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, 
can be conveniently attached to your belt.
 
If Timex made toasters...They would be cheap 
and small quartz-crystal wrist toasters that take a licking and keep on 
toasting.
 
If Fisher Price made toasters..."Baby's First 
Toaster" would have a hand-crank that you turn to toast the bread that pops 
up like a Jack-in-the-box.
 
If the Franklin Mint made toasters...Every 
month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted piece of your authentic 
hand-crafted Civil War pewter toaster.
 
If CostCo made toasters...They'd be really 
cheap, as long as you bought a six-pack of 'em.
 
And, of course:
 
If Microsoft made toasters...Every time you 
bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have 
to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster '95 
would weigh 15000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), 
draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in 
your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control 
how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly 
interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them.Everyone 
would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of 
the good bread only works with their toasters.
 
If Apple made toasters...It would do everything 
the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier.
 
And now:
 
If Alcatel made toasters...They would make 27 
different versions. Each national unit (those things that don't exist any 
more) would produce there own toaster which they would have to keep selling 
because the official Alcatel toaster (which only exists on paper 'at the 
moment' ) just doesn't have the right features for the local market. The 
German toaster would cough, splatter and kerblanf if you put Spanish bread 
in it, the French toaster would meltdown with anything other than finely 
sliced baguettes. Alcatel Management would insist on standardising the 
toasters - local management would nod their heads wisely in agreement and go 
off and do their own thing.

[JOKES] Date: Mon, 24 Jun 2002 20:21:50 +0300

2002-06-24 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




- ëÁÐÉÔÁÎÅ, ÉÍÁÍÅ ÐÒÏÂÏÊÎÁ, ÐÏÄ ×ÁÔÅÒÌÉÎÉÑÔÁ! - íÏÖÅÍ ÌÉ ÄÁ Ñ ÚÁÐÕÛÉÍ? 
- îÅ! - çÏÔ×ÅÔÅ ÓÐÁÓÉÔÅÌÎÉÔÅ ÌÏÄËÉ! - ëÁÐÉÔÁÎÅ, ÎÑÍÁ ÌÏÄËÉ! - 
çÏÔ×ÅÔÅ ÓÐÁÓÉÔÅÌÎÉÔÅ ÖÉÌÅÔËÉ! - ëÁÐÉÔÁÎÅ, ÎÏ ÔÑ Å ÓÁÍÏ ÅÄÎÁ! - ôÁËÁ ÌÉ? 
- ËÁÚÁÌ ËÁÐÉÔÁÎÁ, É ÓÌÅÄ ÍÁÌßË ÒÁÚÍÉÓßÌ È×ÁÎÁÌ ÖÉÌÅÔËÁÔÁ É ÓËÏÞÉÌ ÚÁÄ ÂÏÒÄÁ. 
- ëÁÐÉÔÁÎÅ, ËÁÐÉÔÁÎÅ, ÔÏ×Á ÂÅÛÅ ÂÁÚÉË ÂÅ, ÄÎÅÓ Å ÐßÒ×É ÁÐÒÉÌ!!! åÇÁÔÉ, 
ËÁË×Ï ÝÅ ËÁÖÅÍ ÓÅÇÁ ÎÁ ÚÅÍÑÔÁ... "âÁÓÉ! ëÁË×Á ÐÒÏÂÏÊÎÁ, ËÁË×Á 
×ÁÔÅÒÌÉÎÉÑ!" - ÓÔÒÅÍÉÔÅÌÎÏ ÐÒÉÂÌÉÖÁ×ÁÊËÉ ÓÅ ËßÍ ÚÅÍÑÔÁ, ÓÉ ÍÉÓÌÅÛÅ ËÁÐÉÔÁÎÁ 
ÎÁ ÓÁÍÏÌÅÔÁ.

[JOKES] An English professor wrote the words...

2002-06-21 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




An English professor wrote the words, "Woman 
without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to 
punctuate it correctly. 
 
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is 
nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

[JOKES] monkey

2002-06-16 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at 
the animals ondisplay. While he was there, another customer walked in and 
said to theshopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, 
wentover to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit 
acollar and leash, handed it to the customer,  saying, "That'll 
be$5,000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.  
Startled,the tourist went over to the shopkeeper  and said, "That is a 
veryexpensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?" The shopkeeper 
answered,"Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast,  tight code, no 
bugs,well worth the money." The tourist looked at the monkey in another 
cage."That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, 
thatone's a C++ monkey; it can  manage object-oriented programming, 
VisualC++,even some Java. All the really useful stuff,"said the 
shopkeeper.The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third 
monkey ina cage of it's own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. 
Hegasped  to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other 
puttogether! What on earth does it  do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, 
Ihaven't  actually seen it do anything, but, the other  monkeys 
call himthe project manager."

[JOKES] Date: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 18:13:39 +0300

2002-06-13 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev


> On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the 
>field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have
> calves 
>and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of
> sixty 
>years." The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to
> live for 
>sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other
> forty." 
>And God agreed. 
> 
>On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the 
>door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I
> will 
>give you a life span of twenty years." 
>The dog said, "That's too long to be barking.  Give me ten years and
> I'll give back the other ten." 
>So God agreed (sigh). 
> 
>On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, 
>do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life 
>span." 
>Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't 
>think so.   Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
> And God 
>agreed again. 
> 
>On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play. Do 
>nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years." Man said,
> "What? Only 
>twenty years? No way man!  Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and
> the forty 
>cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave
> back. 
>That makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. "You've got a deal." 
> 
>So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, 
>and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to
> support our 
>family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our 
>grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the
> house and bark at 
>everybody.
> 
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[JOKES] type of girlfriend

2002-06-04 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev


> TEST: Which type of woman is your girlfriend?
>
>
>
> INTERNET woman: woman of difficult access.
>
> SERVER woman: always busy when you need her.
>
> WINDOWS woman: everyone knows that she can´t do a thing right, but noone
> can live without her.
>
> POWERPOINT woman: only Bill Gates has the will to use her more than half
> an hour.
>
> D.O.S woman.: everyone had her at least once, but none wants her
> anymore.
>
> VIRUS woman: also known as "wife"; when you are not expecting her to,
> she comes, install herself and uses all your resourses. If you try to
> disinstall her you will lose something, if you don´t try to uninstall
> her you
> will lose everything.
>
> SCAN DISK woman: you know that she is good and that she only wants to
> help you, but you never knows what she is really doing for that.
>
> SCREEN SAVER woman: she is not worth for anything, but at least she is
> fun!
>
> RAM woman: she forgets everything you say when you disconect her.
>
> HARD-DISK woman: she remembers everythings, FOREVER.
>
> MULTIMEDIA woman: she makes horrible things look beutifull.
>
> MICROSOFT woman: she want to have the domination over all the men she
> meets, and she tries to convince them that this is the best thing for
> them. She will do as best as she can to make you fight against the
> other women, she promises you that you will have everything you want if
> you will give her your address book. Before you will find it out, she
> will be the only one in your life. It will come the day you will need
> her
> permission to open your refridgerator or to start your car.
>
> PASSWORD woman: you believe to be the only one knowing her, but in
> reality all the world does
>
> MP3 woman: everybody wants to take her...
>
> USER woman: She fucks up everything she does and she ask always more
> than she needs.
>
> CPU woman: From outside, she looks like she has everything, but inside
> she is empty...
>
> DATAWAREHOUSING woman: she keeps you informed of everything, except what
> you really want to know.
>

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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* message size limit is 150 KB
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[JOKES] Date: Wed, 29 May 2002 17:05:22 +0300

2002-05-29 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://neworder.box.sk/newsread.php?newsid=4594

[JOKES] Date: Thu, 16 May 2002 19:16:35 +0300

2002-05-16 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.liquidgeneration.com/sabotage/worm_sabotage.asp

[JOKES] Argh...

2002-05-06 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.hahasofunny.com/oww.htm

[JOKES] Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2002 12:05:04 +0300

2002-04-16 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




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f(x)

[JOKES] Date: Fri, 29 Mar 2002 19:35:57 +0200

2002-03-29 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




çÁÆÏ×ÅÔÅ ÎÁ äÖÏÒÄÖ âÕÛ, ÐÏÒÏÄÅÎÉ ÏÔ ÎÅÚÎÁÎÉÅÔÏ ÍÕ 
ÎÁ ÒÏÄÎÉÑ ÁÎÇÌÉÊÓËÉ.


=?koi8-r?B?7sHKLdHSy8nUxSDi1dvJ2s3JLmRvYw==?=
Description: MS-Word document

[JOKES] Date: Wed, 20 Mar 2002 09:55:53 +0200

2002-03-19 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.austria1.at/chattergalerie/pix/2957.jpg

[JOKES] dude

2002-02-28 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://download.theforce.net/theater/returndude/returnofthedude.html

[JOKES] WebServer

2002-02-27 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




jenite razglejdani kato web server
 
400 Bad Request - sresta bez buket401 
Unauthorized - zaeta402 Payment Required - wecherq na swesti403 
Forbidden - dolu rycete !404 Not Found - dnes sym s priqtelki405 Method 
Not Allowed - nee, ne otzad!406 Method Not Acceptable - ...ne 
smuchi!407 Proxy Auth. Required - trqbwa da pitam mama408 Request 
Timeout - ti znaesh li otkolko wreme ne si mi se obajdal ?
409 Conflict - kakwa beshe tazi blondinka s teb 
wchera ?
410 Document Removed - iskam razwod
411 Lenght Required - kakwo ? i ti na towa kazwash 
dylyg?
412 Precondition Failed - kakwo? nqmash 
prezerwatiw? 413 Request Entity Too Large - TOLKO golqm nqma da 
wleze!415 Unsupported Media Type - neee, chetirma ne e interesno500 
Internal Server Error - mesechniq cikyl501 Not Implemented - oste ne sym 
probwala502 Bad Gateway - ...ufff, soleno !503 Service Unavailable - 
boli me glawata504 Gateway Timeout - i towa beshe 
wsichko?

[JOKES] GPF

2002-02-13 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://victoriaspanties.com/Galleries/Errorwear/AUT15321.jpg

[JOKES] ...........

2002-01-18 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://clubs.dir.bg/showthreaded.php?Cat=8&Board=isp&Number=1937187955&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&part=

[JOKES] word

2002-01-17 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




otwari si word-a i napishi
=rand(200,99) 
i natisni enter

[JOKES] weekly planner

2002-01-11 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://momchill.sirma.bg/planner

[JOKES] ski

2002-01-08 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.segabg.com/05012002/p0060002.asp

[JOKES] Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2002 11:33:10 +0200

2002-01-07 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev


Predi mnogo mnogo godini na diado vi Koleda mu bilo mnogo kofti den,Snejanka
ne bila na kef,elenite se bili natrushkali ot bolest,djudjetata gi murzialo
da rabotiat i izobshto nepritana rabota .

I v tazi nepriatna obstanovka se pojavila edna zvezdichka kojato nosila edna
goliama Ela pod mishnica i kazala na diado vi Koleda:

-Diado Koleda,diado Koleda vij kakvo hubawo durvo sum namerila kude da go
sloja ?

i do den dneshen ne e jasno kakvo e kazal dobria starec no ot togava do
sega na vurha na vsiako Koledno durvo ima po edna zvezdichka . ;)

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[JOKES] ceni na bileti

2001-12-17 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.inet.bg/culture/movies.html#åëóëìõúé÷îïðòïæåóéñ%20âìïîäéîëá

[JOKES] Date: Mon, 17 Dec 2001 10:48:55 +0200

2001-12-17 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.handylogos.at/user_pic/084.jpg

[JOKES] Date: Sun, 21 Oct 2001 17:45:33 +0300

2001-12-11 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.dr.dk/skum/cigarfar/growl.htm

[JOKES] Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2001 12:31:20 +0200

2001-11-21 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://clubs.dir.bg/showthreaded.php?Cat=12&Board=psuvane&Number=1936992063&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&part=

[JOKES] Date: Wed, 24 Oct 2001 12:15:23 +0300

2001-10-24 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.insanepictures.com/pictures/0583.jpg

[JOKES] Windows 98 BG

2001-10-21 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://winbg.mascanc.net/?snap=1

[JOKES] :)

2001-10-06 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://haha.dir.bg/gifs/123.gif

[JOKES] Date: Fri, 24 Aug 2001 10:55:42 +0300

2001-08-24 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




íÅÖÄÕ Ä×Å ÐÒÁÓÅÔÁ: 
- ëÁË×Ï ÑÄÅÛ ÂÅ? 
- ðÏÒÔÏËÁÌ. 
- þÅÓÔÎÏ ÄÁ ÔÉ ËÁÖÁ, ×ßÏÂÝÅ ÎÅ ÍÉ ÐÒÉÌÉÞÁ ÎÁ ÐÏÒÔÏËÁÌ. 
- áÍÉ ËÁË×Ï ÄÁ ÔÉ ËÁÖÁ - ÑÍ ÇÏ ÚÁ ÔÒÅÔÉ ÐßÔ!

[JOKES] Simeon II

2001-07-25 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://momchill.sirma.bg/momchill.com/simeon.html

[JOKES] Date: Fri, 6 Jul 2001 09:35:15 +0300

2001-07-05 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://doval.hit.bg/page4-19.htm

[JOKES] Date: Mon, 4 Jun 2001 14:00:23 +0300

2001-06-04 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.computerpranks.com/download/images/computer/applead.jpg

[JOKES] NE E JOKE

2001-05-03 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/q276/3/04.ASP

[JOKES] BG

2001-04-28 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.momchill.com/reasons.txt

[JOKES] Monkey

2001-04-04 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at 
the  animals on display. While he was there, another customer  
walked in and said to the shopkeeper:  "I'll have a C monkey 
please."  The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side 
of  the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and 
leash,  handed it to the customer, saying,  "That'll be 
$5000."  The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. 
Startled,  the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said:  
"That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?"  The 
shopkeeper answered:  "Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, 
tight code,  no bugs, well worth the money."  The tourist 
looked at the monkey in another cage:  "That one's even more expensive! 
$10,000! What does it do?"  "Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage 
object-oriented  programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the 
really useful stuff",  said the shopkeeper. The tourist looked around 
for a little  longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The 
price  tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the 
shopkeeper:  "That one costs more than all the others put together! 
What  on earth does it do?"  The shopkeeper replied:  
"Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but the other  monkeys 
call him the project manager."

[JOKES] Date: Fri, 30 Mar 2001 11:18:27 +0300

2001-03-30 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




    - www.zaplata_ima.li     - 
www.kakto_vinagi.net 
    - www.a_kak_shte_se_priberesh.de 
    - www.pesh.com

[JOKES] Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 11:09:35 +0300

2001-03-26 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.kioz.com/pic_of_day/copy_this.gif

[JOKES] me and my friends ...

2001-02-13 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




me&myfriends.jpg

[JOKES] hacknatata stranica na prezidenta

2001-01-18 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




http://www.top.bg/hack/www.president.bg/

[JOKES] Narodna madrost...

2001-01-12 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




 

Âñÿêà JAVA äà ñè çíàå ãüîëà 
Ïàðåí Õàêåð - ÷åíãå ñúíóâà 
Íå æèâååì, çà äà õàêâàìå, à õàêâàìå, çà äà æèâååì. 
Îò íîâ Nick è ëóäèÿ áÿãà 
Nuke, nuke èçáèâà 
Êðàêåð, íåãîíåí áÿãà. 
Äà áå ñ Ïðàâåö ñåäÿëî, íå áè Windows âèäÿëî! 
Ïðàâåö îñìèöà - ìèðíà ãëàâèöà 
Ìîÿò Linux, å ìîÿòà êðåïîñò. 
Ìíîãî îïîâå, õèëàâ êàíàë 
Íîâ ïðîâàéäåð, íîâ êúñìåò 
Êîéòî Nuke âàäè äðóãèìî - ñàì äðîïâà ñ íåãî

[JOKES] Theory & Practice

2000-12-11 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




Theory is when you know everything and nothing 
works; Practice is when everything works and nobody knows why. Here we 
combine theory with practice: nothing works and nobody knows 
why.

[JOKES] Girl & Prist




Girl: "Forgive me father for I have 
sinned."Priest: "What have you done my child?"Girl: "I called a man a 
son of a bitch."Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"Girl: 
"Because he touched my hand."Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her 
hand)Girl: "Yes father."Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of 
a bitch."Girl: "Then he touched my breast."Priest: "Like this?" (as he 
touched her breast)Girl: "Yes father."Priest: "That's no reason to call 
him a son of a bitch."Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, 
father."Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)Girl: "Yes 
father."Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."Girl: 
"Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."Priest: "Like 
this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)Girl: "YES 
FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no 
reason to call him a son of a bitch."Girl: "But father he had 
AIDS!"Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Re: [JOKES] Audio & Video Codecs




Ne znaeh che tozi mail list se polzwa za takiwa 
mail-ove...
Ima 3 mail lista w sirma i kojto ne mu e isno 
prednaznachenieto im da se obrashta kam Marin (kato list owner) za poweche 
informacia.
 
btw: codecite vinagi gi e imalo w direktoria tools pri filmite.

  - Original Message - 
  From: 
  Boris Vidolov 
  To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] 
  Sent: Wednesday, November 22, 2000 2:11 
  PM
  Subject: [JOKES] Audio & Video 
  Codecs
  
  Koito ne moje da vidi "play"-ne filmite, koito Momchill e izpratill shte 
  triabva da si instalira Indeo Video & Audio compression Codecs: \\sirma_main\common\distrib\indeo
  ili
  z:\distrib\indeo

Fw: [JOKES] ne e istina





 
\\momchill\ipw20\videos\1998_conf_camelot.avi

[JOKES] ne e istina





za vsichki fenove na Borland i MS:
 
\\momchill\ipw20\1997_conf_borland_soft_wars.avi

[JOKES] Teeth - what they get up to while your sleeping!!!!

2000-11-21 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




 mailedD3_1.gif

[JOKES] eh tezi rusnaci

2000-11-08 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev




 3error11.jpg
 09prykol1.jpg

[JOKES] oshte malko vicove

2000-11-08 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev

Две мутри са на екскурзия в Африка. Решили да
отидат в един резерват, да разгледат животните и природата. Вървят с джипа
из саваната и единият пита: - Ебаси, кво е тва животно дългата шия? -
Това е дангерус! - отговаря вторият. След малко първият пак: - Леле, а
тва кво е, бе! Глей кви уши има и дълъг нос... - И това е дангерус, бе!
Минават покрай една река. Първият пак пита: - А тва, бе? Глей кво е
гнусно, цялото зелено, с дълга опашка, гадни зъби и големи джуки... - И тва
е дангерус. - Абе, ти откъде знаеш всичко това? - Ами щото трябва да се
учат чужди езици, бе тъпак. На входа на резервата си пишеше:"All animals in this
park are dangerous!"
Среща на мутри. Всеки е довел със себе си огромен
бодигард. Само един е придружаван от прегърбен, нисичък, с болен вид човечец.
- Това да не е някой майстор по бойни изкуства? - питат другите. - Ами,
въобще не може да се бие... - Да не е някой снайперист? - Въобще не е
пипал оръжие през живота си... - Тогава, защо го влачиш с тебе.. - Този
ми е четвъртият.- отговаря мутрата поглаждайки бодигарда по главата...- Другите
трима ги изтрепаха, защото мислеха, че съм аз.
Една жена си купила говорящ папагал от пазара. Носи
го вкъщи, а той: - Здравейте, казвам се Гошо, искам да чукам Това
продължило през целия ден. Жената отива при съседката и й казва за папагала.
Съседката й казва: - Я го донеси у дома. Аз имам две женски папагалки, които
по цял ден се молят на бога. Те ще го превъзпитат. Жената донася папагала и
го пуска в клетката при женските папагалки. Той: - Здравейте, казвам се
Гошо, искам да чукам... Папагалките в един глас: - Най-после, Бог чу
молитвите ни

[JOKES] 5kg яйце

2000-11-08 Прати разговор Momchill Zarev





Кокошката снесла пет килограмово яйце. При нея 
изпращат репортер от местният вестник. 
- Как стана това? 
- Тайна. 
- Какви са бъдещите ви планове? 
- Да снеса шест килограмово яйце. 
След това репортерът задава въпроси на петела: 

- Как стана това? 
- Тайна! 
- Какви са следващите ви планове? 
- Да счупя главата на 
щрауса!

[JOKES] Japan mu raboti

Ìëàäåæ áèë íà ðàáîòà â ßïîíèÿ. Âëþáèë ñå â ìåñòíî
ìîìè÷å è ðåøèë äà ñå æåíÿò. Îòèøúë ïðè ñòàðèÿ ñàìóðàé äà èñêà ðàçðåøåíèå.

- Ìîÿòà äúùåðÿ ùå ñå îìúæè ñàìî çà ÿïîíåö: äàë ñúì
êëåòâà ïðåä Áóäà!
- Ìà íèå ñå îáè÷àìå...
- Íÿìà çíà÷åíèå!
- Ìà íèå ùå èçáÿãàìå è ùå ñå îæåíèì òàéíî!

- Ùå èçáÿãàòå, àìà ùå âè çàñòèãíàò òðèòå ïðàñòàðè
ÿïîíñêè ïðîêëÿòèÿ!!".

Ìëàäåæúò íå ïîâÿðâàë, îòêðàäíàë ìîìè÷åòî, çàâåë ãî
â Áúëãàðèÿ è ñå îæåíèëè.
Ñëåä ïúðâàòà áðà÷íà íîù ïè÷úò ñå ñúáóæäà, çàùîòî íå
ìîæå äà äèøà! Îòâàðÿ î÷è - ãëåäà: íà ãúðäèòå ìó êàìúê ñ ïðèêðåïåíà êúì íåãî
áåëåæêà: "Ïúðâî ïðàñòàðî ÿïîíñêî ïðîêëàòèå: êàìúê âúðõó ãúðäèòå". ßäîñàë ñå òîé,
íàïîïúðæàë ñòàðèÿ ÿïîíåö è èçõâúðëèë êàìúêà ïðåç
ïðîçîðåöà.

Ïîíå÷âà äà ñè ëåãíå è âèæäà êúì ÷åð÷åâåòî íà
ïðîçîðåöà âòîðà áåëåæêà: "Âòîðî ïðàñòàðî ÿïîíñêî ïðîêëÿòèå: ëÿâà òîïêà âúðçàíà
çà êàìúêà". Ñòðåñíàë ñå òîé, ñêà÷à âåäíàãà ñëåä êàìúêà: ïîíå äà ïàäíàò çàåäíî...
Äîêàòî ñêà÷à, âèæäà òðåòà áåëåæêà: "Òðåòî ïðàñòàðî ÿïîíñêî ïðîêëÿòèå: äÿñíà
òîïêà âúðçàíà çà ëåãëîòî".

[JOKES] razni universiteti - razni nravi...


> >Ãîñïîä ðåøèë äà ïðàòè ïîòîï â Áúëãàðèÿ, ÷å ìíîãî ïðîáëåìè ìó ñúçäàâàëà.
> >Ðàçáðàëè çà òîâà ðåêòîðèòå íà óíèâåðñèòåòèòå, è ñìåíèëè ó÷åáíàòà ïðîãðàìà
> >êàêòî ñëåäâà:
> >
> >ÑÓ "Êëèìåíò Îõðèäñêè":
> >Ïîíåäåëíèê - Ó÷åáåí äåí
> >Âòîðíèê - Ó÷åáåí äåí
> >Ñðÿäà - Ó÷åáåí äåí
> >×åòâúðòúê - Ïðîùàëåí ïðàçíèê
> >Ïåòúê - Ïîòîï
> >
> >ÓÍÑÑ:
> >Ïîíåäåëíèê - Ó÷åáåí äåí
> >Âòîðíèê - Ó÷åáåí äåí
> >Ñðÿäà - Ïðîùàëåí ïðàçíèê
> >×åòâúðòúê - Ñâîáîäåí äåí
> >Ïåòúê - Ïîòîï
> >
> >ÌÅÈ:
> >Ïîíåäåëíèê - Ó÷åáåí äåí
> >Âòîðíèê - Ó÷åáåí äåí
> >Ñðÿäà - Ó÷åáåí äåí
> >×åòâúðòúê - Ó÷åáåí äåí
> >Ïåòúê - Ïîòîï
> >Ñúáîòà - îòó÷âàíå íà ïåòúê...


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[JOKES] ceci kak ambicira ekipa si da raboti dobre


> >Íîâà developer-ka :) ïîñòúïâà íà ðàáîòà â big software company (MS).
> Äåâîéêàòà
> >áèëà ñòðàõîòíà, êðàêà äî óøèòå, ãîëåìè ãúðäè è ò.í. Project manager îùå
> êàòî ÿ
> >âèäÿë, ÿ èçâèêàë â êàáèíåòà, ìåòíàë ÿ íà ìàñàòà è ïî÷íàë äà ñå çàíèìàâà ñ
> >ðàçâðàòíè (action .. ama qko) äåéñòâèÿ. Îò âúëíåíèå çàáðàâèë, äà çàêëþ÷è
> >âðàòàòà íà êàáèíåòà. Èçâåäíúæ äâàìàòà ìó Project seniors âëèçàò â ñòàÿòà
è
> >âèæäàò êàêâè ãè âúðøè. Project nanager ñ òðóä ñå îòêúñâà îò çàäúëæåíèÿòà
ñè
> è
> >íåâúçìóòèìî îòáåëÿçâà:
> >- Íàáèéòå ñè ãî â ãëàâàòà, åòî òîâà ùå ñå ñëó÷è ñ âñè÷êè, êîèòî íå ñà
> >èçïúëíèëè time schedule!


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[JOKES] cigulari i sluhari