[JOKES] Date: Fri, 25 Oct 2002 13:38:08 +0300
[JOKES] Genesis
\\hursev\aa\genesis.html
[JOKES] proekta Genesis:
http://donangel.h1.ru/genesis.html
[JOKES] Mind Reader
Title: Message http://www.ak47.ru/mindreader.htm
[JOKES] Opera baby
http://www.bandituk.com/baby.swf
[JOKES] Hangover Magic
http://www.hangovermagic.com/ --- Atanas Kiryakov, http://www.sirma.bg/ak.htm Head of OntoText Lab.,http://www.ontotext.com Sirma AI, Ltd. - Artificial Intelligence Labs Phone: (359 2) 981 23 38, http://www.sirma.bg --- ne znaja nakyde sym trygnal missing a whither ne znaja i zashto vyrvya and also the Goal no chesto vijdam, che sym byrzal forgot in my hurry tam gdeto trjabvalo e da pospra the joy as a goal ja za posoki ne uveren A di sig.na whither i celi toje ne hvataet, ed egualmente l'obiettivo no kajetsja speshal bez meri ha dimanticato nella mia tuda, gde lucheshe postojatj fretta la gioia come obiettivo =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Fw: women driver - continued
attachment: WomanDri1.jpg
[JOKES] picts
attachment: vodka-02.jpgattachment: dia06.jpg
[JOKES] Fw: [noi_toti] :)
- Original Message - From: Valentin Tablan A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, Dark in here. The man says, Yes, it is. Boy - I have a baseball. Man - That's nice. Boy - Want to buy it? Man - No, thanks. Boy - My dad's outside. Man - OK, how much? Boy - $250 In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - Dark in here. Man - Yes, it is. Boy - I have a baseball glove. The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, How much? Boy - $750 Man - Fine. A few days later, the father says to the boy, Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch. The boy says, I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove. The father asks, How much did you sell them for? Boy - $1,000 Father - That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that ...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess. They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, Dark in here. The priest says, Don't start that shit again. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Kids' Letters To God
Kids' Letters To God Dear God,In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane Dear God,I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. - Elliot Dear God,Did You really mean do unto others as they do unto you? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother. - Darla Dear God,I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me. - Love, Allison Dear God,Are you really invisible or is that a trick? - Lucy Dear God,Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? - Jane Dear God,Who draws the lines around countries? - Nan Dear God,Thank You for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. - Joyce Dear God,Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. - Tom L. Dear God,Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up. - Bruce Dear God,Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. - Larry Dear God,Of all the people who work for You, I like Noah and David the best. - Rob Dear God,My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they? - Marsha Dear God,I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. - Love, Chris Dear God,We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did it. So, I bet he stole Your idea. - Sincerely, Donna =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Bojko Borisov i hamama na obrechenite
Chetete go v original na: http://oshte.info/democracy/01authors/berov/berov006.htm
[JOKES] Q276304 - Error Message: Your Password Must Be at Least 18770 Characters and Cannot Repeat Any of Your Previous 30689 Passwords
http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=KB;EN-US;Q276304
[JOKES] gradskia transport v BBC
http://www.cnsys.bg/files.html?prj=26969 -- *** Iliana Misheva - Marketing Manager Sirma Solutions - Combination of high technologies, knowledge and creativity in IT consulting and software development. North American Office: 438 Isabey Street, Suite 103 Montreal, Quebec, Canada H4T 1V3 Tel: +1-514-340-9174; Fax: +1-514-343-0143 European Office: 38A, Christo Botev Blvd. 1000 Sofia, Bulgaria Tel: +359-2-981-00-18; Fax: +359-2-981-90-58 E-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.sirmasolutions.com *** =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Go offline?
Title: Message You Should Probably Get Offline If You name your children Eudora, Hyperlink and dotcom. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap... and your child in the overhead compartment. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access. You laugh at people with 28.8-baud modems. You start using smileys in your snail mail. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. You can't call your mother because she doesn't have a modem. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again. You don't know what gender three of your closest friends are because they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to ask. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape. You tell the cab driver you live at http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html
[JOKES] .. powerSupply ...htm
Title: ..:: powerSupply ::.. Help, my power supply is smoking! (A true story) A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty. Tech: What's the problem? User: There is smoke comming out of the power supply. Tech: You'll need a new power supply. User: No I don't! I just need to change the startup files. Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it. User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command. 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The Tech is frustrated and fed up. Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem. User: I knew it! Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file. Let me knew how it goes. 10 minutes later. User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking. Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using? User: MS-DOS 6.22. Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE.COM. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes. 1 hour later. User: I need a new power supply. Tech: How did you come to that conclusion? User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told them all about what you said, and they started asking questions about the make of my power supply. Tech: Then what did they say? User: They told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
[JOKES]
http://www.ide.li/article.php?sid=57
[JOKES] Obqsnenie w lubov
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY COMPUTER. Believe me it is true... You installed the best in me. Your picture is always in my background. You clicked my heart gently. You drive me crazy when I see you. Your love reset my life and deleted all the sadness in me. You restored my kindness after I thought it was corrupted. I'm always connected to you with more than 56 heart beat per second. You hacked my brain and registered your name in it. You are the only one that could navigate my feelings and explore my emotions at the same time. I feel lost when I try to call you and you are not responding. I always feel you close to me when I shut down my eyes, or when I open my windows waiting for you to pass. You are the only one that can log into my heart and never log out. I dream of being your only server as long as I live. You don't have to search for me, cause we are always linked to each others. I see your name everywhere, my frontpage, my homepage and all my software. I scanned my life and found that I'm only infected by you. You are the virus I'd never remove, and why should I do? You formatted my life and added happiness to view. Believe me it is true... I love you more than my CPU!
[JOKES] FW: Biseri +++++
Title: Message -Original Message-From: kan [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] Sent: Tuesday, October 15, 2002 10:23 AMTo: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; Tihomir TarnavskiSubject: Biseri + Ponege ne moga sas segashnia mi adres da go pratia v Jokes, prati go ti Òîï 5 íàé-èçïðàùàíè FUNsms-è 1. Tova e telefonna teroristichna grupa. Momentnoto priemane na tozi SMS aktivira virus. Tozi virus 6te zarazi GSM-a ti vednaga. Vednaga ako ne mi otgovorish na saobshtenieto 2. Az sum ubietz, obivam hora za pari...No samo zashtoto ti si mi priqtel, iskam da te ubiq za nishto ! 3. Iskam te,iskam te.Iskam da te zamykna v krevata,da te mucha i izpotia,da te tresa dokato sym v teb i tialoto ti da gori.Obicham te-vechno tvoi GRIP 4. Ako niakoia nosht goliam pulen chovek skochi prez tvoiat prozoretc, sgrabchi te i te sloji v chuval ne se pritesniavai az kazah na Diado Mraz che se nujdaia ot teb za Koleda 5. Shto e to? Dulgo i tunko, pokrito s koja i samo Gospod znae v kolko dupki e bilo? Cherveiat Kakvi li shte sa drugite? (http://fun.sms-bg.com/) arrow2.gif Description: GIF image
[JOKES] the evolution of a programmer
http://www.ariel.com.au/jokes/The_Evolution_of_a_Programmer.html
[JOKES] biseri :)
Niakoi ot tezi sigurno ste gi cheli- drugi moje i da ne ste ... S. biseri.doc Description: MS-Word document
[JOKES] Nastroika
http://kafence.com/veselba/tuning.jpg
[JOKES] Golden Thoughts
http://www.theochem.kth.se/~pawsa/mind.html
[JOKES] Physics News Update - Demagogues and the Prisoner's Dilemma
A collaboration of researchers from Ajou University, Chungbuk National University, and Seoul University in Korea, and Umea University in Sweden recently discovered the instability introduced to social systems by influential persons in a simplified, two-dimensional, small world network. http://www.aip.org/enews/physnews/2002/split/604-3.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Studentski zakoni
BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20021011T093405Z END:VCARD Íà ñòóäåíòà ìó ñå ñëó÷âà âèíàãè íàé-ëîøîòî I.Çàêîíè çà èçïèòèòå: 1.Âèíàãè ñå ïàäà òîçè âúïðîñ, êîéòî çíàåø íàé-ìàëêî. 2.Àêî ñå ïàäíå âúïðîñ, êîéòî çíàåì, òî ñå îêàçâà ÷å ãî çíàåì íåäîñòàòú÷íî. 3.Êîëêîòî ïî-ãîòèíî å íà ñòóäåíòà ïðåç ñåìåñòúðà, òîëêîâà å ïî-ãàäíà ñåñèÿòà. 4.Âèíàãè, êîãàòî îòèäåø íà ëåêöèÿ ñå îêàçâà ÷å ïðîôåñîðà å áîëåí. 5.À àêî ñëó÷àéíî èìà ëåêöèÿ, òî òÿ å ïðîäúëæåíèå îò ïðåäíàòà, à àêî íå å òàêà, òî ñå îêàçâà ÷å å ñúâñåì ìàëîâàæíà, à àêî íå å ìàëîâàæíà, òî ïðîôåñîðà ìúíêà è íå ñå ÷óâà îò ïîñëåäíèòå ðåäîâå. 6.Âèíàãè ïðåïîðú÷âàíèòå ó÷åáíèöè ëèïñâàò îò áèáëèîòåêàòà. Àêî ãè èìà, òî ïàäàìå íà òî÷íî òåçè, íà êîèòî ñòðàíèöèòå ñà îòêúñíàòè çà ïèùîâè. 7.Âèíàãè îòèâàìå íà äàòàòà çà èçïèò òî÷íî êîãàòî èìà íàé-ìíîãî õîðà íà íåãî. 8.Àêî íÿìà ìíîãî õîðà íà èçïèòà, òî ïðîôåñîðà å ÿäîñàí è êúñà áåçîãëåäíî. 9.Êîëêîòî ïîâå÷å âëà÷èø åäèí èçïèò, òîëêîâà ïî-òðóäíî ñå âçèìà. 10.Âèíàãè â íîùà ïðåäè èçïèòà ñúñåäèòå ïðàâÿò êóïîí. 11.Âèíàãè íà èçïèò ñå îêàçâà, ÷å ñìå ñè çàáðàâèëè ïèñàëêàòà, à àêî ñìå ñè ÿ âçåëè, òî òÿ òî÷íî òîãàâà ñïèðà äà ïèøå. 12.Ïèùîâà, êîéòî íè òðÿáâà âèíàãè íàé-òðóäíî ñå íàìèðà. 13.Ïðîôåñîðà ñå âúðòè îêîëî òåá òî÷íî êîãàòî òðÿáâà äà ïðåïèøåø. 14. åäèí ÷åðòåæ âèíàãè èìà ïðîïóñêè. 15.Ëÿòíàòà ñåñèÿ å âèíàãè èçâúíðåäíî ãîðåùà. 16.Âèíàãè â ïîñëåäíèÿ äåí ñå ðàçáèðà, ÷å ñè ó÷èë ïî ãðåøåí êîíñïåêò. 17.Êóðñîâàòà ðàáîòà íå ìîæå äà ñå îòïå÷àòa íà ïðèíòåð, òî÷íî êîãàòî âñè÷êî å ãîòîâî, à îñòàâàò 12 ÷àñà äî ïðåäàâàíåòî é. 18.Àêî ñòóäåíòèòå ñè èçáèðàò òåìèòå çà êóðñîâèòå ðàáîòè, òî òå èçáèðàò íàé-íåïîäõîäÿùàòà òåìà. 19.Äàòèòå çà èçïèòè ñà âèíàãè íàé-íåóäîáíèòå. 20.Êîïþòúðà ñå ÷óïè òî÷íî êîãàòî òðÿáâà íàé-ìíîãî. II.Çàêîíè çà îáùåæèòèÿòà. 1.Òî÷íî êîãàòî ñå íàòèñêàø ñ ãàäæåòî ñè èäâà ñúêâàðòèðàíòà. 2.Õëåáàðêèòå â òâîéòà ñòàÿ ñå ðàçìíîæàâàò íàé-ìíîãî. 3.Ïðåçåðâàòèâèòå ëèïñâàò òî÷íî êîãàòî âè ñå èñêà íàé-ìíîãî. 4.Àêî íå ëèïñâàò, òî èìà ñàìî åäèí. 5.Âèíàãè â òâîÿòà ñòàÿ òîïëàòà âîäà èäâà ïîñëåäíà. 6.Âèíàãè ñïèðàò òîïëàòà âîäà êîãàòî å íàé-ãîðåùî. 7.Âèíàãè, êîãàòî òè ñå õîäè äî òîàëåòíà ñå îêàçâà ÷å ñúêâàðòèðàíòà òè å â íåÿ. 8.Äîìàêèíêàòà âèíàãè å ãàäíà. 9.Âèíàãè ñúñåäèòå òè ñà ïúëíè íåíîðìàëíèöè. 10.Âèíàãè òå íàñòàíÿâàò ñ àðàáèí, à àêî íå òå íàñòàíÿò ñ àðàáèí îò òðèìàòà æèâååùè â åäíà ñòàÿ ïîíå åäèíÿò å àáñîëþòåí ìèçåðíèê è òúïàê. 11.Ñúêâàðòèðàíòà âèíàãè òè èçÿæäà ïîñëåäíàòà õðàíà. 12.Ñúêâàðòèðàíòèòå âèíàãè ñè õîäÿò âúçìîæíî íàé-ðÿäêî. 13.Çà öÿëîòî ñëåäâàíå ïîíå äâà ïúòè ñà òè ðàçáèâàëè ñòàÿòà. 14.Êîëêîòî ïîâå÷å ñè ÷èñòèø ñòàÿòà, òîëêîâà ïî-ìðúñíà ñòàâà òÿ. 15.Ñúêâàðòèðàíòà âèíàãè ñè ïóñêà íà êàñåòîôîíà ãàäíà ìóçèêà. 16.Ãàäîñòòà íà ìóçèêàòà íà ñúñåäèòå å âèíàãè ïðàâîïðîïîðöèîíàëíà íà äåöèáåëèòå é. 17.Òî÷íî êîãàòî ñè ìèñëèø, ÷å ñè óöåëèë õóáàâà ñòàÿ òîãàâà òå ãîíÿò îò íåÿ. 18.Îò òðèìà ñúêâàðòèðàíòè ïîíå åäèíÿ îò òÿõ õúðêà êàòî äúñêîðåçíèöà. 19.Êðóøêèòå â ñòàÿòà ãîðÿò òî÷íî êîãàòî ñè ñâúðøèë ïàðèòå. 20.Òîïëàòà âîäà èäâà ÷àê êîãàòî ñè ñå èçêúïàë ñúñ ñòóäåíà. 21.Îò âñè÷êè ñòúêëà ïîíå åäíî å ñ÷óïåíî. III.Çàêîíè çà êîëåãèòå. 1.Òâîèòå êîëåæêè ñà âèíàãè íàé-ãðîçíè. 2.Òâîèòå êîëåæêè ñà âèíàãè íàé-òúïè. 3.Îò âñè÷êè êîëåãè ïîíå åäèí îò òÿõ å íåïîâòîðèì òúïàê. 4.Îò âñè÷êè êîëåãè ïîíå åäèí îò òÿõ å áåçïîäîáåí çóáúð. 5.Îáèêíîâåíî êîëåãàòà îò ò.3. è ò.4 ñúâïàäà. 6.Òîëêîâà êîëêîòî ïî-òúïà å åäíà êîëåæêà, òîêëîâà ïîâå÷å ñå ïúíå äà ó÷è. 7.Íà èçïèò âèíàãè ñÿäàø äî òîçè êîëåãà (êîëåæêà), êîÿòî çíàå íàé-ìàëêî îò âñè÷êè îñòàíàëè. 8.Íà ëåêöèè íàé-òúïèÿ êîëåãà (êîëåæêà) âèíàãè çàäàâà íàé-ìíîãî âúïðîñè. 9.Òúïîòàòà íà âúïðîñèòå çàäàâàíè îò ñòóäåíòèòå å ïðàâîïðîïîðöèîíàëíà íà òÿõíîòî êîëè÷åñòâî. 10.Àêî íåùî ñå ãëàñóâà (íàïèìåð äàòà íà èçïèòà) âñå èìà íÿêîé, êîéòî äà å ïðîòèâ. 11.Âèíàãè èìà íÿêîé íåäîâîëåí îò ïðîôåñîðà. IV.Çàêîíè çà ñòóäåíñêèÿ ñòîë. 1.Õðàíàòà â ñòîëà å âèíàãè ãàäíà. 2.Àêî õðàíàòà íå å ãàäíà, òî òÿ å ìàëêî. 3. ñòîëà êþôòåòàòà (øíèöåëèòå, êåáàï÷åòàòà) ñà âèíàãè ìàëêè. 4.Äàæå è ïîñðåä ëÿòî ãàðíèòóðàòà â ñòîëà ñå ñúñòîè îò òðóøèÿ. 5.Êîëè÷åñòâîòî íà áîáåíèòå çúðíà â ÷îðáàòà å îáðàòíîïðîïîðöèîíàëíî íà ãëàäà íà ñòóäåíòà. 6.Õëÿáà â ñòîëà å âèíàãè îò ìèíàëàòà ñåäìèöà. 7. ñòîëà âèíàãè èìà òîâà, êîåòî òè ñå ÿäå íàé-ìàëêî. 8.Äàæå è ïðåç ëÿòîòî çà
[JOKES] NASA
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[JOKES] Controllers:)
Title: Message http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A724114
[JOKES] Good Bye Cruel World
inline: autoktonia.jpg
[JOKES] Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 18:28:50 +0300
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[JOKES] ...
Wtoriqt komentar pod statiqta... http://www.segabg.com/08102002/p0010003.asp BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20021008T093644Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] mutri
Един борец харесал някаква мадама. Отишъл при нея и я заговорил: - Да отидем някъде заедно... - Да отидем. - Да се качим в БМВ-то... - Да се качим. - Да отидем в къщи... Отишли в къщата на бореца и той казал: - Да пийнем по нещо... Доволен,че мадамата изобщо не се съпротивлява, дори се съгласява много лесно с него, борецът продължил: - Да се съблечем... - Да се съблечем.. - Да си легнем... - Да си легнем. - Да загасим лампата... - Да я загасим. - Виж сега как ми свети "Ролекс"-а!
[JOKES] [Fwd: Should I be upset that an h1b is taking my job?]
Ot kakwo se oplakwat amerikanskite kolegi ---BeginMessage--- My understanding was that the law clearly stated that legal residents have preference over h1bs. Is this true? Do I have any recourse? Does anyone care about saving good paying development jobs anymore? Does anyone have any insight? I have tried to maintain that if I am better and have a great work ethic, I would be ok, but when the rate of an h1b is less than half of my rate - dollars alone tell the tale. Remaining, TS ---End Message---
[JOKES] trenirovka
Title: Message http://www.vinogradov.ru/game/game.html
[JOKES] ...
http://netinfo.bg/?tid=40oid=381417 BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20021007T145850Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] puzzle
SOME YEARS AGO, THE LOGICIAN AND PUZZLE-MASTER Raymond Smullyan devised a logical puzzle that has no challengers I know, of for the title of Hardest Logical Puzzle Ever. The puzzle: Three gods A, B, and C are called, in some order, True, False, and Random. True always speaks truly, False always speaks falsely, but whether Random speaks truly or falsely is a completely random matter. Your task is to determine the identities of A, B, and C by asking three yes-no questions; each question must be put to exactly one god. The gods understand English, but will answer all questions in their own language, in which the words for yes and no are da and ja, in some order. You do not know which word means which. -Original Message- From: Vladislav Lambov [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] Sent: Thursday, October 03, 2002 9:59 PM To: Peter Radkov Cc: Eliminator; Ilel, Radoslav; jana; ORLIN H. JORDANOV; Stefanaki Subject: Da vi vidia. Na men mi otne okolo 1 chas :-) __ Do you Yahoo!? New DSL Internet Access from SBC Yahoo! http://sbc.yahoo.com =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] citat ot statiq
24-godishnata pastirka Galq Jekova i sinovete i Elbin (9g) i Nikolai (15g) ot selo Widno bili zakleshteni ot pridoshlite vodi..
[JOKES] Date: Fri, 27 Sep 2002 15:41:05 +0300
Един мъж и жена му отишли на разходка в планината. След време стигнали до един кладенец на желанията. Жената паднала в кладеница, а мъжът казал: - Абе, тия желания се сбъдват много бързо. Майка пита дъщеря си: - Известна ли ти е книгата Хиляда и една нощ? - О, мамо - отговаря дъщеря й - това вече е в миналото. Сега е модерна друга - За една нощ - хиляда Ако фотоалбумът ви е малък и тъничък, а фотографията - само една и страшничка - значи фотоалбумът ви е паспорт! Високо в планините на Грузия, една 150 годишна старица поучава 130 годишния си син: - Как може такова нещо! Другите имат свестни деца, а аз ... Толкова години ти разправям: Не яж неизмити ябълки, не яж неизмити ябълки... и никаква полза!!! Въпрос: Защо кучето минава със свита опашка покрай евреин? Отговор: Защото е чуло, че евреин където види дупка отваря магазин. Мъж и жена пред клетката на горилата. Горилата седи на клона и зяпа жената. Мъжът я сръгва: - Я си разкопчай най-горното копче на блузата! - Но скъпи ?!!! - Нищо де, нищо, давай! Жената го разкопчава и горилата се ококорва. Мъжът: - Я сега още едно! - Но - Моля те!!! Тя разкопчава още едно. Горилата се приближава до решетките вторачена в разкопчаната блуза. - Свали си сега блузата! - Е, не ти вече прекаляваш! - Но скъпа виж, моля те, за експеримента. Тя си сваля блузата. Горилата се хваща за решетките и започва да ръмжи. - Сега си свали едната презрамка на сутиенане, не, наистина настоявам.. Жената сваля едната презрамка. Горилата реве с цяло гърло и скача по решетките. - Сега моля те скъпа, свали си сутиена. Не никой не гледа и само замалко. Жената много притеснено сваля сутиена. Горилата е в истерия и опитва да счупи решетките. Мъжът отива при клетката и я отключва. Горилата се спуска към жената. Мъжът: - Сега скъпа му кажи, че имаш главоболие.. Питат радио Ереван: - Русия ще влезе ли в НАТО? - Ако се налага, ще влезе. Чак до Белгия ще влезе ако трябва. Попитали Радио Ереван: По какво се различават Москва и Ню Йорк? Радиото отговаря: - В Москва има търговски център ... В бара на международно летище влиза руснак. Поръчва си бутилка водка. Удря две чаши набързо и се оглежда. Поглежда накриво седящ наблизо японец, приближава се до него и казва: - Японец, ела с мен навън да се разберем! Излизат, чува се тъп удар. Японецът влиза в бара: - Японска работа, карате се нарича. След него със синина на дясното око влиза руснакът. Изпива още две чаши водка и пак: - Японец, излез с мен навън! Излизат. Отново се чува тъп удар и японецът влиза в бара: - Японска работа, джудо се нарича. След него влиза руснакът със синина на лявото око. Допива бутилката и отново отива при японеца: - Дай да вървим навън! Излизат. Чува се силен удар. Руснакът влиза в бара: - Японска работа, крик от Тойота се нарича... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Prognoza ...
Dobur Vecher dragi potrebiteli, Utre shte preobladava cabelen internet. Naetite linii do ISPtata shte sa natovareni, nai-veche v zapadnite raioni-- Liulin i Ovcha Kupel. Shte ima kratkotraini ping-ove, a ot vreme na vreme LAG i timeout. Utre i drugiden shte ima obilni downloadi bez selskostopansko znachenie. Toplata vulna ot online porno shte obhvane i iztochna evropa i do nedelia shte dostigne sredizemnomorieto. V sofia Dial-Up vruzkata shte bude razkusana, a v provinciata-- kupesta. Gradushki ot bezplaten access ne se ochakvat. Dezhuren Sinoptik: Ping-cho Trafikov :o) Boris =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Date: Thu, 26 Sep 2002 18:20:48 +0300
http://www.obekt.com/dobri/
[JOKES] Date: Wed, 25 Sep 2002 12:40:06 +0300
A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick, so she proceeded to find herself a rich 75-year-old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. The first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a condom to cover a twelve-inch erection, and was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of nose plugs. Fearing her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked, "What are those for?" The elderly groom replied, "There are two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber."
[JOKES] za kakwo se izpolzwat komjutyrnite kutii
http://spaceguide.hit.bg/other/gadove.jpg mim lalala.gif Description: GIF image
[JOKES] Just to test
Testing =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Plakati za office :o)
http://www.despair.com/incompetence.html Tova e samo edin primer ot site-cheto http://www.despair.com . razgledajte go - ima mnogo ideini neshta:o) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] ne bydete sadisti :-)
moje i da e staro no e idejno :-) 1.Kakvo stava kogato sedemte djudjeta vidyat Snejanka gola?-7UP(seven up) 2.V zoologi4eskata gradina pred kletkata na 6trausite sedyala tabela s nadpis:Ne pla6ete 6trausite - podat e betonen! 3.Iz pravelnika za dobro povedenie Kogato se pravi minet - ne se 6traka sas zabi 4.Za6to kotkite se 4ukat pravi? - Za6toto ne padat po grap, no tova ne se otnasya za matskite. 5.Televizionna reklama na luksozna stoka:Ne, ne barzajte da zapisvate! Tova vse o6te ne e telefonniyat ni nomer! Tova e tsenata. 6.Oh, mili, nedej, mnogo ti e golyam. Boli, jestok si! Dobre de, 6te go izvadya! Ne, ne go vadi be sadist! 7.Dvama snobi si sedyat i ediniyat kazal:-Oh, pak zavalya dajd.Drugiya otvarnal:-Prostatsi. 8.Slona i mravkata ograbvat magazin.Po edno vreme mravkata kazala: -Slone byagai,4e mene me vidyaha. 9.Kolko softuerni spetsialisti sa neobhodimi za ubivaneto na edna hlebarka?Dvama - edin da ya darji a drugiya da i instalira Windows 2000. 10.Kakvo e ob6toto mejde penisa i Internet? 6. Ako ne se vzimat predpazni merki, to ot nego moje da se pipnat virusi... 11.Pitat edin borets: -Ti znaesh li koy e Bil Klintan? -Ne-e, az ne sam go bil! 12.Pepa nikak ne e opitna v legloto. - Kogo popita? - Ne popitah, a opitah! 13.-Kakvo pravyat programistite sutrinta sled tejko napivane? -Memory test! 14.Dva 4le*a varveli v gorata i skivali edin vibrator,ediniya kazal: -Ya vij KIBORG!!! 15.Kakvo moje da se napravi, za da se povi6i rajdaemostta na planetata?Da se poveri na MicroSoft tsyaloto proizvodstvo na prezervativi. 16.Kvo ti e mili, izglejda 4e ne6to ti stava. - Ni6to ne mi stava. - Togava nyama smisal da si lyagame. 17.Ginekolog kam patsientka:- Vodite li aktiven polov jivot?Patsientkata:- A, ne, prosto si leja otdolu. 18.V jivota nyama ve4ni dvigateli. Zatova pak ima ve4ni spira4ki. 19.U4itelkata pita Ivan4o:- Ivan4o, izbroj mi sedemte 4udesa na sveta.Ivan4o otgovarya:- Emi piramidite, mavzoleyat, dve drugi i o6te tri. 20.Internetadjiya otiva na psihiatar:- Doktore, imam razdvoenie na li4nostta! Po4nah da polu4avam pisma na vtoriya mi e-mail ot parviya! 21.Iz dnevnika na internet-maniak:Re6ih korenno da promenya na4ina si na jivot. Iztrih si vsi4kite bookmark-ove. 22.S tsel ryazko povi6avane na prihodite, MicroSoft obyavi, 4e zapo4va da prodava reklamno myasto varhu saob6teniyata za gre6ki 23.Kakvo e ob6toto mejde penisa i Internet? 1. Tezi, koito go imat, ne iskat da se razdelyat s nego. 24.Kakvo e ob6toto mejde penisa i Internet? 2. Tezi, koito go imat, s4itat tezi, koito go nyamat za niz6i sa6testva. 25.Kakvo e ob6toto mejde penisa i Internet? 4. Tezi, koito go nyamat, nyamat ni6to protiv da go imat. 26.Popitali kitajka: Kak sa bulgarskite muzhe? -Oooo. Bulgarin ima golyamo miso (meso) i mnogo boli ;-) 27.2 mi6leta pu6at treva. Otgore prelita prilep. Ednoto kazva na drugoto:Triabva da spra da pu6a. Privizhdat mi se angelcheta 28.Ni6to ne promenya taj deteto, kakto kosmosat i pubertetat | Tihomir Dolapchiev - Software Engineer | GEMATRONIK Gmbh - Weather Radar Systems | 41429 Neuss Germany | tel: +49 2137 782 218 | fax: +49 2137 782 11 | mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] | mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] | http://www.Gematronik.com =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Chess
http://www.amontillado.sp.ru/rus/rocknroll_chess.html
[JOKES] Date: Mon, 23 Sep 2002 15:36:20 +0300
http://www.knology.net/~carlos/redneck.htm
[JOKES] Date: Fri, 20 Sep 2002 15:03:05 +0300
http://www.econ.bg/viewevents.html?cat_id=0id=332 9lang=1 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] this is the right link :-)
http://www.econ.bg/viewevents.html?cat_id=0id=332 9lang=1 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Date: Fri, 20 Sep 2002 16:08:17 +0300
attachment: preparatifs guerre.jpg
[JOKES] FW: Do You Know....
Title: Do You Know ..the litle difference? The little difference__.HTM The little difference__.HTM Description: Binary data
[JOKES] for chavo
íÕÔÒÉ ÐßÔÕ×ÁÔ × ÍÏÝÅÎ ÄÖÉÐ. ðÏ ÅÄÎÏ ×ÒÅÍÅ ÓÐÉÒÁÔ ÎÁ Ó×ÅÔÏÆÁÒ É × ÚÁÄÎÉÃÁÔÁ ÎÁ ÄÖÉÐÁ ÓÅ ÕÄÒÑ ÅÄÎÁ ôÏÊÏÔÁ. íÕÔÒÉÔÅ ÉÚÌÉÚÁÔ ÏÔ ËÏÌÁÔÁ, ÉÚ×ÁÖÄÁÔ ÛÏÆØÏÒÁ ÎÁ ôÏÊÏÔÁÔÁ É ÚÁÐÏÞ×ÁÔ ÄÁ ÇÏ ÂÉÑÔ. ûÏÆØÏÒßÔ ÎÁ ôÏÊÏÔÁÔÁ ÍÅÖÄÕ ×ÓÅËÉ ÕÄÁÒ ÐÏ×ÔÁÒÑ: - íÏÍÞÅÔÁ, ÔÏ×Á Å ôÏÊÏÔÁ. - äÒÅÍÅ ÎÉ ÎÁ ÎÁÓ ÚÁ Ô×ÏÑÔÁ ôÏÊÏÔÁ, ÇÌÅÄÁÊ ËÁË×Ï ÎÁÐÒÁ×É Ó ÎÁÛÉÑ ÄÖÉÐ... - íÏÍÞÅÔÁ, ÂÅ, ÔÏ×Á Å ôÏÊÏÔÁ. - áÂÅ ÂÏÌÉ ÎÉ ..ÚÁ Ô×ÏÑÔÁ ôÏÊÏÔÁ - íÏÍÞÅÔÁ, ÔÏ×Á Å ôÏÊÏÔÁ. - å Ë×Ï ËÁÔÏ Å ôÏÊÏÔÁ? - íÉ ÛÏÆØÏÒßÔ Å ÏÔ ÄÒÕÇÁÔÁ ÓÔÒÁÎÁ, ÂÅ
[JOKES] vaccine.jpg
attachment: vaccine.jpg
[JOKES] Read Japanese
hihi inline: Japanese slogan.jpg
[JOKES] predstawata na nqkoi hora za designer-ite
http://itjobs.bg/showjob.html?id=720rec=1uid=a3b8c341b9bed73a9df9f9fc18c56ec7 mim lalala.gif Description: GIF image
[JOKES] Problem
For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. H.L. Mencken =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Vic: Adminut !
ami 1 admin ot njakakwo tezhko mjasto go hwanali prestypnici i 3 dena boj da kazhe parolata. na 4-tija specchasti go oswobodili, i se razchulo do masinfo-to za admina kojto 3 dena go bili i ne kazal parolata. pokanili go w njakakwo tv predawane (da rechem show-to na slavi;) i dyra-byra kak wi biha, kak wi otwljakoha kak wi oswobodiha, radwate li se che ste zhiw e.t.c. nakraja wodeshtijat kazal: W zakljuchenie, bihte li kazali neshto na washite mladi fenowe-administratori? Da,, izrekyl admina s poduta usta, i, otprawjajki zacherweni podut pogled kym kamerata, w edyr plan profuflil: Za boga, pomnete naizust parolite, che mnogo bijat! --- Dipl.-Ing. Christo Braykoff Lehrstuhl fØr Maschinenelemente, Wissenschaftl. Mitarbeiter Forschungsstelle fØr ZahnrÄder Tel.: 089 / 289 15 837 und Getriebebau (FZG)-TU MØnchen Fax.: 089 / 289 15 808 Boltzmannstr. 15 e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] 85748 GARCHING =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$
Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ :)Message box na Internet Exploder pri p#len sriv:
[JOKES] windows2000 source code =')
/* Source Code to Windows 2000 */
#include win31.h
#include win95.h
#include win98.h
#include workst~1.h
#include evenmore.h
#include oldstuff.h
#include billrulz.h
#include monopoly.h
#define INSTALL = HARD
char make_prog_look_big[160];
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED) {
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_500_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
disable_Netscape();
disable_CosmoPlayer();
disable_RealPlayer();
disable_Lotus_Products();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
if (detect_cache()) disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu()) {
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}
/* printf(Welcome to Windows 3.1);*/
/* printf(Welcome to Windows 3.11); */
/* printf(Welcome to Windows 95); */
/* printf(Welcome to Windows NT 3.0); */
/* printf(Welcome to Windows 98); */
/* printf(Welcome to Windows NT 4.0); */
printf(Welcome to Windows 2000);
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt)
else
system_memory = open(a:swp0001.swp, O_CREATE);
while(something) {
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
return to_dos /* please ! */
}
;;
EOF
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
* send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
* PLEASE do not post offensive jokes
* message size limit is 150 KB
* List info and instructions are available at
http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html
and in the header of this email
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[JOKES] Signs
http://www.kafence.com/veselba/warning2.jpg http://www.kafence.com/veselba/warning3.jpg http://www.kafence.com/veselba/warning4.jpg http://www.kafence.com/veselba/warning5.jpg http://www.kafence.com/veselba/warning7.jpg http://www.kafence.com/veselba/warning8.jpg http://www.kafence.com/veselba/warning9.jpg http://www.kafence.com/veselba/warning10.jpg
[JOKES] Win
http://www.kafence.com/veselba/WindowsRG.swf
[JOKES]
LIFE То се подаде от тясната дупка от която се опитваше да излезе от доста време. Вдиша малко чист въздух и се наслади на първите си секунди навън. Беше тъмно. Чуваше се само лекото пъшкане на някой над него, може би на горния етаж. Замисли се. Усещаше някак си че не му остава много време и реши да си набележи цел в живота и да я гони до край. Първото което искаше да направи със себе си бе да стане личност. А как се става личност. Като някой ти даде име и ти по този начин станеш различен от всички останали. Нямаше никой. Никой който да го кръсти. Реши да сам да си измисли име. Джо? Не. Джак? Не. комбинацията "ДЖ" му харесваше, но имената с нея, не. Джим! Ето как щеше да се казва. Джим беше доволен. Сега ако някой му викне по име той ще се обърне. Между временно се беше измъкнал още малко и сега вече се виждаше съвсем къде се намира. Намираше се на тавана на огромна бяла стая с обли стени. На пода нещо блестеше, но Джим не можеше да го види ясно. Друга цел замъчи съзнанието на Джим. Искаше да се издигне в обществото. Това беше доста лесно имайки предвид че беше абсолютно сам. И той го направи- просто се обяви за цар на всички останали. Не го притесняваше че няма поданици и тям подобни. На него му стигаше мисълта че вече е цар и никой не може да оспорва думата му. Но той искаше още и още през това време излизаше малко по малко от дупката докато не разбра какво беше онова на пода. Това беше вода. Но защо на пода? Не знаеше. Просто си беше там и нищо повече. Той разбра че когато изкочи съвсем от дупката ще падне точно там и това го успокои малко. Вече знаеше защо водата е там. Джим усещаше че съвсем скоро ще падне и бързо спретна последната цел, ей тъй колкото да се занимава с нещо. Тя му се струваше най- малковажна. Той искаше да разбере какво всъщност е той. Нямаше нищо за което да се хване. Информацията която имаше не му стигаше до никъде. Той знаеше че просто излиза от някаква дупка и това е. Падна. Чу се пльосване и след това шум от падаща водаДжим така и не разбра какво е.Джим беше лайно.
Re: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$
ne :)) - Original Message - From: Hursev To: Boyan Konstantinov Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2002 18:39 Subject: Re: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ abe si da ne pishesh mail client i da go testwash w momenta - Original Message - From: Boyan Konstantinov To: Jokes@Sirma Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2002 5:01 PM Subject: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ :)Message box na Internet Exploder pri p#len sriv:
Re: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$
???za 4-ti pyt?? nali uj beshe 3 za shtastie, ili na discworld e 4?:-) - Original Message - From: Boyan Konstantinov To: Jokes@Sirma Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2002 5:01 PM Subject: [JOKES] Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ Kak se pravqt error dialogs v M$ :)Message box na Internet Exploder pri p#len sriv:
[JOKES] Date: Fri, 13 Sep 2002 11:27:41 +0300
Iz "Kniga za bezpoleznite fakti", izdadena v Germaniia:- Nevyzmojno e da se dostigne s ezik sobstveniia lakyt - Chovek ne moje da si schupi rebro, kato si pritiska kolenete kym gyrdite - 25% ot naselenieto na zemiata nikoga ne e zvynialo po telefon - Taralejyt moje da jivee 6 chasa bez glava - Chovek za 7 godini izpuska tolkova goliamo kolichestvo otrovni gazove, koito v zatvorena staia biha doveli do smyrt ot zadushavane - Kriakaneto na paticata niama eho - 11% ot kopirnite mashini, izlezli ot stroia, se povrejdat, poradi horata, koito siadat na tiah, za da si kopirat chasti ot tialoto - Sredno prez jivota si chovek poglyshta sluchaxno 70 nasekomi - Urinata na kotkata sveti pri osvetiavane s ultravioletovi lychi - Otpechatycite na ezika sa tolkova individualni, kolkoto i otpechatycite na paleca - 75% ot horata, procheli tozi tekst, v nachaloto se opitvat da dostignat lakytia si s ezik
[JOKES] Mtel
áÂÏÎÁÔßÔ Å ×ÒÅÍÅÎÎÏ ÐÉÑÎ. ítel. ôÏ×Á Å Ô×ÏÑÔ ÇÌÁÓ. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Beirut Telecom :))
http://fun.from.hell.pl/2002-09-12/BeirutTelecom2_1.jpg
[JOKES] Thirsty
\\tihot\temp\Thirsty.mpeg
[JOKES] Beirut telecom (2)
http://fun.from.hell.pl/2002-09-12/BeirutTelecom_1.jpg
[JOKES] two of a kind
Dvama piqnici sedqw w krychmata i si prikazwat. - Ponqkoga syjalqwam, che maika mi ne me e rodila s dwe glawi... - s tyga kazwa ediniqt. - Shto be?? Kakwo shteshe da prawish s wtorata? Shteshe da piesh dwa pyti poweche li? - pita wtoriqt. - Ne be!! Ako imah dwe glawi, wednaga sled rajdaneto mi shtqha da me slojat w burkan sys spirt... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Punk's Not Dead!
http://forum.abv.bg/cgi-bin/showpost.pl?Board=softwareNumber=1621page=0view=collapsedmode=flatsb=5 BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Terziev;Ivan;Nikolaev FN:Ivan Nikolaev Terziev NICKNAME:Vozd ORG:EngView Systems Sofia Corp. - A Sirma Group Company;Research Development TITLE:Technical Writer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(+359) 2 9810018-134/131 TEL;CELL;VOICE:+359 87 968439 ADR;WORK:;;60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8;Sofia;;1000;Bulgaria LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:60 Solunska Str., Apt. 8=0D=0ASofia 1000=0D=0ABulgaria ADR;HOME:;;;Sofia;;;Bulgaria LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Sofia=0D=0ABulgaria X-WAB-GENDER:2 URL;WORK:http://www.engview.com; http://www.sirma.com EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] EMAIL;INTERNET:[EMAIL PROTECTED] REV:20020912T083903Z END:VCARD
[JOKES] da stanem bogati.. :)
za pochitatelite na krimki Original Message Subject: URGENT ASSISTANCE Date: Thu, 12 Sep 2002 15:08:10 +0200 (CEST) From: regijim sa [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] FROM: REGIJIM SAMBA TEL : (225) 05 95 96 93 ATTN:DIRECTOR, Dear one, I am MR REGIJIM SAMBA, a 22 years old gentleman and the son of late MR KONDE SAMBA who was a famous COCOA buyer and we are citizens of ZAMBIA ,but residents in Abidjan, Côte dIvoire, west Africa since the past 15years. At the time my father was alive, he operated his company under partnership with indigenes of Cote dIvoire and Mali. His associates poisoned him to claim his wealth. He was rushed to the hospital where he secretly disclosed to me the cause of his sickness, accusing his associates. Again, he disclosed to me that he deposited the sum of US $ 9.000.000 (Nine million united states of American dollars only) in a private bank company in Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire as personal belongings. And that is the reason why his associates want him dead. He advised me to source for a reliable foreign investor to come and assist me transfer the fund to his account strictly for investment purposes. This is because he didnt want his associates to raise eye brow on this fund or kill me as well.More also, he advised me to stay clear from his associates who will be running after my dear life.Finally, he died in the hospital after 2 days of admission. So, I am soliciting for your assistance to transfer the fund to your account in your country strictly for investment purposes. As soon as you show your willingness to assist, I shall send to you the photocopies of all the documents that is relating to this transaction and at the same time the contact of the bank in ABIDJAN. Presently my little sister is very ill and shes no longer schooling due to the fear of possibly kidnapping by my late fathers associates who are hunting for us due to this fund. My late father advised me to offer 10% of the total sum as the commission to anyone who assists me to transfer this fund to his nominated account . 5% extra will be mapped out for any miscellaneous expenses that should occur in the course of this transaction. Moreover, as I am a lay man in investment, you shall assist me to invest this fund in your country, issue a letter of invitation to enable me, and my younger one to secure a visa to your country immediately this fund must have been transferred into your country. May I strongly re-emphasis the highly confidentiality I entrust in you as I want this transaction to finishin 10 days time. Thanks in anticipation. Wishing you Gods Richest Blessing. Please call me on the telephone for more clarifications. Yours sincerely. REGIJIM SAMBA ___ Do You Yahoo!? -- Une adresse @yahoo.fr gratuite et en français ! Yahoo! Mail : http://fr.mail.yahoo.com =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Date: Wed, 11 Sep 2002 09:45:34 +0300
vyrvqt dvama po ulicata i pred tqh nkqvo mace..-Gleai taq kvi kraka izvadi..- i mnogo hubava kosa ima..-o, a kakvo zybi samo.. tuka mackata se obryshta i pita : - A otkyde znaete kakvi sa mi zybite ?! -ami, razbirate li, s loshi zybi takyv gyz ne mojesh da otleesh...
[JOKES] Date: Wed, 11 Sep 2002 10:50:48 +0300
A buddhist goes to a hot-dog man and says : - Make me one with everything courtesy to The bicential man robin williams
[JOKES] pets
http://petoftheday.com/archive/2002/August/11.html mim lalala.gif Description: GIF image
[JOKES] Za pochitatelite na Tolkin....
http://www.valaquenta.hit.bg/fun/
[JOKES] monthly reminder
* * * * Automatic unsubscription is available at: * http://www.peak.org/cgi-bin/majordomo?jokes:harbinger.sirma.bg * * * =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES]
ðÏÒÅÄÎÏÔÏ ÐÒÅÄÁ×ÁÎÅ "óÔÁÎÉ ÂÏÇÁÔ" éÇÒÁÅ îÁÒËÏÍÁÎ (î) îÉËÉ ëßÎÞÅ×: ÷ßÐÒÏÓ ÚÁ 100 ÌÅ×Á: ëÏÊ ÏÔ ÔÑÈ Å ÄßÒ×ÅÎ? á) âÕÒÁÔÉÎÏ â) íÁÌ×ÉÎÁ C) ðÉÅÒÏ ä) áÒÔÅÍÏÎ î: ðÏÍÏÝ ÏÔ ÐÕÂÌÉËÁÔÁ. ðÕÂÌÉËÁÔÁ ÇÌÁÓÕ×Á 100% ÚÁ âÕÒÁÔÉÎÏ, ÏÎÚÉ - íÉ âÕÒÁÔÉÎÏ Å ÔÏÇÁ×Á îÉËÉ ëßÎÞÅ×: ðÒÁ×ÉÌÎÏ! ðÅÞÅÌÉÔÅ 100 ÌÅ×Á. óÌÅÄ×ÁÝ ×ßÐÒÏÓ, 150 Ì×: ëÏÊ ÏÔ ÔÑÈ Å ÍÏÍÉÞÅ: á) âÕÒÁÔÉÎÏ â) íÁÌ×ÉÎÁ C) ðÉÅÒÏ ä) áÒÔÅÍÏÎ î: äÁÊÔÅ 50 ÎÁ 50 ïÓÔÁ×ÁÔ âÕÒÁÔÉÎÏ É íÁÌ×ÉÎÁ î: áÍÉ ... ÝÏÍ âÕÒÁÔÉÎÏ Å ÄßÒ×ÅÎ, ÚÎÁÞÉ ÎÅ Å ÍÏÍÉÞÅ, ÏÓÔÁ×Á íÁÌ×ÉÎÁ îÉËÉ ëßÎÞÅ×: ðÒÁ×ÉÌÎÏ! ðÅÞÅÌÉÔÅ 150 ÌÅ×Á. óÌÅÄ×ÁÝ ×ßÐÒÏÓ, 200 Ì×: ëÏÊ ÏÔ ÔÑÈ Å ËÕÞÅ: á) âÕÒÁÔÉÎÏ â) íÁÌ×ÉÎÁ C) ðÉÅÒÏ ä) áÒÔÅÍÏÎ îÁÒËÏÍÁÎÁ ÄßÌÇÏ ÍÉÓÌÉ: äÁÊÔÅ ÄÁ ÓÅ ÏÂÁÄÉÍ ÎÁ ÐÒÉÑÔÅÌ! ú×ßÎÑÔ ... äÉÁÌÏÇ. - úÄÒÁÓÔÉ, ÁÚ ÓßÍ! - úÄÒÁÓÔÉ. - éÍÁ ÌÉ? - éÍÁ! - äÏÂÒÅ. îÁÒËÏÍÁÎÁ: ÷ÚÉÍÁÍ 150 Ì× É ÓÅ ÏÔËÁÚ×ÁÍ!
[JOKES] Stari, no zlatni:-)
=?utf-8?B?0JHQuNGB0LXRgNGH0LXRgtCwLmRvYw==?= Description: MS-Word document
[JOKES] to biva reklama ama...
bn_paper[1].gif Description: GIF image
[JOKES] school
Учителски изказвания: - Така, така! Архимеде! Пак закъсня! Само не ми разправяй тия лъжи, че си бил затворен в банята! - И кога ти, Коперник, ще разбереш, че не си център на вселената!? - Галилей, ако още веднъж те видя да пускаш тухли от покрива, ще изхвърчиш от училището! - Кеплер, престани да зяпаш небето! - Нютон, мисля, че е крайно време да спреш да бягаш от час за да дремеш под ябълката! - Е какво, Айнщайн!? Така и не реши дали крокодилът е зелен или широк! - Павлов, престани да мъчиш кучето! mim lalala.gif Description: GIF image
[JOKES] Date: Wed, 4 Sep 2002 09:55:28 +0300
ðØÑÎÁÑ ÄÏÑÒËÁ ××ÁÌÉ×ÁÅÔÓÑ × ËÏÒÏ×ÎÉË. ëÏÒÏ×Á: -îÕ ÞÔÏ, ÏÐÑÔØ ÐØÑÎÁÑ? äÏÑÒËÁ: -íÕ-Õ... ëÏÒÏ×Á: -îÕ, ÌÁÄÎÏ. äÅÒÖÉÓØ ÚÁ ÓÉÓØËÉ, Ñ ÐÏÐÒÙÇÁÀ.
[JOKES] novo otkritie za SS-23
Citatyt e ot v-k Standard - dneshniq broi :))) ss-23.doc Description: MS-Word document
[JOKES] Moses
attachment: moses.jpg
[JOKES] Vuorajenie:)
http://www.nnm.ru/pict/army_knifes.jpg
[JOKES] 100% work
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How aboutachieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?IfA B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.Then,H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%So, it stands to reason that hardwork and knowledge will get you close,attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.And look how far this will take you..A S S K I S S I N G1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%Think about it...and have a nice day at work!!
[JOKES] Tight skirt
Pojelawam na wsichki podobni zapoznanstwa :-) Tight SkirtIn a busy city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waitingfor the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather miniskirt with matchingtight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it was her turn toget on the bus, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow herleg to come up to the height of the bus' first step. So, slightlyembarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behindher and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give herenough slack to raise her leg.Again she tried to make the step onto the bus, only to discover she stillcould not make the step. A little more embarrassed, she once again reachedbehind her and unzipped her skirt a little more. And for a second time sheattempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raiseher leg because of the tight skirt.With a coy little smile to the driver, she again unzipped the offendingskirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.About this time the big Texan who was behind her in the line picked her upeasily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, screeching athim, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!!"At this the Texan drawled, " Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you,but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we wasfriends."
[JOKES] Short English Course for Engineers
ëÒÁÔËÉÊ ËÕÒÓ ÁÎÇÌÉÊÓËÏÇÏ ÑÚÙËÁ ÄÌÑ ÉÎÖÅÎÅÒÏ×. óÁn YÏu hÅÁr mÅ - ôÙ ÍÏÖÅÛØ ÍÅÎÑ ÚÄÅÓØ. UndrÅssÅd ÓustÏm mÏdÅl - çÏÌÁÑ ÔÁÍÏÖÅÎÎÁÑ ÍÏÄÅÌØ. íÁniÓurÅ - äÅÎØÇÉ ÌÅÞÁÔ. I'm just Ásking - ñ ×ÓÅÇÏ ÌÉÛØ ËÏÒÏÌØ ÖÏÐ. I hÁvÅ bÅÅn thÅrÅ - õ ÍÅÎÑ ÔÁÍ ÆÁÓÏÌØ. GÏd ÏnlÕ knÏws - åÄÉÎÓÔ×ÅÎÎÙÊ ÎÏÓ ÂÏÇÁ. WÅ ÁrÅ thÅ ÓhÁmÒiÏns - íÙ ÛÁÍÐÉÎØÏÎÙ. DÏ YÏu fÅÅl Álright? - ôÙ ÓÐÒÁ×Á ×ÓÅÈ ÚÎÁÅÛØ? ÷ÕÅ bÕÅ bÁbÕ, bÁbÕ gÏÏd bÕÅ - ëÕÐÉ-ËÕÐÉ ÒÅÂÅÎËÁ, ÒÅ£ÎÏË - ÈÏÒÏÛÁÑ ÐÏËÕÐËÁ. ôÏ bÅ Ïr nÏt tÏ bÅ? - ðÞÅÌÁ ÉÌÉ ÎÅ ÐÞÅÌÁ?. I fÅll in lÏvÅ - ñ Ó×ÁÌÉÌÓÑ × ÌÀÂÏ×Ø. Just in ÓÁsÅ - ôÏÌØËÏ × ÐÏÒÔÆÅÌÅ. I will nÅvÅr givÅ uÒ - íÅÎÑ ÎÉËÏÇÄÁ ÎÅ ÔÏÛÎÉÔ. ïh dÅÁr - áÈ ÏÌÅÎØ. I sÁw mÕ îÏnÅÕ tÏdÁÕ - ñ ÐÉÌÉÌ ÍÏÊ Í£Ä ÓÅÇÏÄÎÑ. I'm gÏing tÏ mÁkÅ ÕÏu minÅ - ñ ÉÄÕ ËÏÐÁÔØ ÔÅÂÅ ÛÁÈÔÕ. íÁÕ GÏd bÅ with ÕÏu - íÁÊÓËÁÑ ÈÏÒÏÛÁÑ ÐÞ£ÌËÁ Ó ÔÏÂÏÊ. Finnish ÒÅÏÒlÅ - ëÏÎÞÅÎÙÅ ÌÀÄÉ. ÷Ád influÅnÓÅ - ðÌÏÈÁÑ ÐÒÏÓÔÕÄÁ. òhÏnÅ sÅllÅr - ðÏÚ×ÏÎÉ ÐÒÏÄÁ×ÃÕ. GÏÏd ÒrÏduÓts - âÏÇ ÎÁ ÓÔÏÒÏÎÅ ÕÔÏË. LÅt's hÁvÅ Á ÒÁrtÕ - äÁ×ÁÊÔÅ ÏÒÇÁÎÉÚÕÅÍ ÐÁÒÔÉÀ. WÁtÓh Ïut! - ðÏÓÍÏÔÒÉ ÓÎÁÒÕÖÉ! I knÏw his stÏrÕ wÅll - ñ ÚÎÁÀ Ô×ÏÊ ÉÓÔÏÒÉÞÅÓËÉÊ ËÏÌÏÄÅÃ. òrÅss sÒÁÓÅ bÁr tÏ ÓÏntinuÅ - ëÏÓÍÉÞÅÓËÉÊ ÂÁÒ ÐÒÅÓÓÙ ÐÒÏÄÏÌÖÁÅÔ. I lÏvÅ ÕÏu bÁbÕ - ñ ÌÀÂÌÀ ×ÁÓ, ÂÁÂÙ!
[JOKES] ICQ forever
http://www.capital.bg/article.php?broi=2002-35page=n1-35-7rubr=net =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * send mails to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * message size limit is 150 KB * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html and in the header of this email =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JOKES] Milk the cow...
http://www.ferryhalim.com/cowgame/
[JOKES] Mlado pokolenie, a?
×óæäèöîëþáöè #ãîâîðèëíÿ íåçíàì-êîÿ â äåí íåçíàì-êîé - Êî ñòàà âå, áðàòëå! - Êî'ò ëÿãà óå, äà ã'úé êüîòóê ñ êüîòóê! - Çíàåø ëè ê'âî ñè äàóíëîàäíúõ â÷åðà? - Êî? - Òóé, äåò' øú ãî úïëîóäíà, úïäåéòíà, ïîñëå äèãèòàëèçèðàì, à íàêðàÿ øú äèñïëåéíà :-Ð - È àç ñè úïäåéòíàõ ñàéòà. Âå÷å èìà òðè ïèê÷úðñè, è ïèøå êîãà ñúì ðàæäàí. - Àç îùå íå ñúì. - BMW, êîëêî ìåãàõåðöà òè å êîìïþòúðà? - Àìà êàòî ñè äèãèòàëèçèðàì ïèê÷úðñèòå, øú ãè úïëîóäíà. - Êîëêî ìåãàõåðçà òè å ÊÎÌÏÓÒÚÐÀ? - Çàâèñè äàëè ñúì ãî îâåðêëîêíúë - Åé, îâúðêëîêåð, à? - Ìíîãî ÿñíî âå! - È êîëêî ãî êëîêâàø? - Àêî å íà 600 ïî 500 ãî ïúðæà íà 120, íî îáèêíîâåíî ãî ïóñêàì íà 85 íà 1000 õèêñ 700 ïèêñåëà. - Åé... Òè ìíîãî úïãðåéòíàò êîìïþòàð èìàø? Ìîÿ íà ïîâå÷å îò 100 íå ìîãà äà ãî ïóñíà. ... - Õàé! Ê'âî ïðàèòå áå? - ×àòèì ñè çà êîìïþòúðèòå ñè. - Å, êàêâî ñè ÷àòèòå? - Çà êîìïþòðèòå íè ñè ÷àòâàìå. - Êàêâî ïî-òî÷íî? - Êîëêî ìåãàõåðöà ñà íè. - Êîëêî ñà âè? - Ìîÿ å 120, à íà b å 85. - ) Áàñè áàðàêèòå ! :P - Ê'âî ñå äúðâèø óå? Òè íà õàêåð ëè ìè ñå ïðàèø, à? - Øøø, êàò' ñè òàêúâ õàêåð, ÿ ìè êàæè êàê äà îòâîðÿ dll-òàòà è äà ïðîìåíÿì Öå++? - Ò'âà è àç ãî çàäàäîõ íà åäèí ôîðóì è ñåãà ÷àêàì äà ìè êàæàò. - Áàñè õàêåðà... - Ê'âî óå? Òè ïðàèø ëè ìè ñà? - Ïðàà òè ñà! - À óå, àéäå äà íå ñú äðúâ÷èì, Îê? - îêè. - Êàêúâ òè áåøå êîìïþòúðà? - 120 ÌÕç Hansol, 19 èí÷îâ. - - Àìà òîâà íå å êîìïþòúðà óå. - Àìè ê'âî å? - Òîâà å âèäåî äèñïëåÿ. - À... Äà áå ìàé ìè áåøå Windows XP 2200+ ìåãàõåðöà - Ïëþñ êîëêî? - Îòäå äà çíàì. - Ìîåòî ÖÏÓ å 2200 ãèãàõåðöà Ïåíòèóì! - Ìîéòî ïúê å 2000 ãèãàõåðöà Åêñïèðèúíñ! - Àìà ìîéòî å +! - Ìîÿò âèäåîìîíèòîð å Êåé Åô Ñè. - Î, âðåìå òè å çà úïãðåéò! - À áå àç ñè ãî úïãðåéòíàõ ñêîðî. Ïëúãèíâàõ ìàëêî ÐÀÌ, àäíàõ íÿê'âè àïëèêåéøúíñè, ìàëêî ãåéìñ è ìíîî ñå êåôÿ! - Êàê òàêà áå, êàêúâ òè áåøå àêñåëåðàòîðà? - Àìè... Ê'úâ áåøå... Æèôîðñ 4. - Öúêàø íà Êúíòúð ñòðàéê, íàëè? - Î, ãåéìÿ. È íà Êúíòðèñòðàéê, è íà Âàðêðàôò... Ãîëÿì ãåéìàð ñàì! Êàê ãè êèëâàõ áîñîâåòå íà òåëåâèçèîííàòà ãåéìà íÿêîãà... - Êîÿ òè å ôåéâúðòèòíàòà ãåéìà? - Çþäúí Ñòðèéê. À íà òåá? - Íà ìåí Êóàêå, Óíðåàë, ÑòàðÊðàâ è äð. - È àç èìàì ëþáèìà èãðà, íî â ìîìåíòà íå ìîãà äà ñå ñåòÿ çà èìåòî é. - Îêè. - À óå çíàåòå ëè, ÷å ìèíàëèÿ óèêåíä çà ìàëêî äà ñè áðåéêíà êåéáîðäà. - Ùî áå? - Ùîò ñú ãåòíàõ àíãðè. - Áàñè ê'âî òîëêîç òú å àíãðèëî? - Áîñîâåòå íà âñÿêà ÅÄÍÀ èãðà, êîÿòî ïëåéâàõ, âñåêè ÅÄÈÍ ïúò ìå ñìàêâàõà íà âñÿêî ÅÄÍÎ íèâî. - Óô, ùîì ñàìî íà ÅÄÍÀ èãðà, êàêâî òîëêîç ñú å ñëó÷èëó? - Êàê å êåéáîàðäà òè? - Èçôðúêíàõà òðè êåÿ, àìà òå ñà â êîðíåðà è íå ãè þçâàì. - Ìàíè ìàíè... Àç ïúê ïðåäè âðåìå ñè ãúòíàõ Öåäå ðîóìèíãà. - Êàê òàêà? - Íå ìîæåõ äà ìèíà åäíî íèâî, è öåäåðîìà ñå ÷åòå ëè ÷åòå íèâîòî. - È ê'âî? - ßäîñà ìå, ä'åéáà ðîìà, ä'åéáà... - Áàñè... - Êàò' ãî øèáíàõ ñ êåéáîàðäà è êîìïþòàðà ñà èçìåñòè íà 10 èí÷à. - Ö,ö,ö... Êàê òúé ëå? - Å! - È çàìèðèñà íà ìîðå - BMW òè êúäå øà õîäèø íà ìóðå òîçè ñàìúð? - Êúäåò ìú óòâåå óèíäú :Ð - Ôàíàõ êåéáîðäà è ãî ãÿêíàõ â öå-äå-ðîìà. - Ö,ö,ö... - È ê'âî? - Àìè, êîìïèðà çàáè ùîò ñà ïðååáà ðîìà... - Ñàìî òî ëè òè ñà çàòðè? - Ààà - íå. È Õàðäà. Àìà Õóáàâî, ÷å íå ñå ñêàïà è íåùî äðóãî, ÷å íÿìàøå äà ìè îñòàíàò ïàðè çà áàðàáàíåí ñêåíåð. - È íà ìåíå ñà ìè ñà ñå ñëó÷âàëè ïîäîáíè íåùèöà. - Êàæè äå. - âåäíúæ êàêòî ãè öâúêàõ íà ãàëàêñèàííà íà ïðàâåöà åäíî ãàäíî ìå óòðåïà... - È ê'âî? - ßäîñàõ ñå è óäàðèõ åäèí íà âèäåîäèñïëåÿ. - Ãîëÿìà ðàáîòà, ìîèòå êîëêî áîé ñà èçÿëè - íèùî èì íÿìà. - Å, äàé äà òå óäàðÿ ñ ÷óêà äåòî ãî óäàðèõ, äà âèäèì äàëè íèùî íÿìà äà òè èìà. - Òè ïúê! Àç ñè ìèñëèõ, ÷å àç ñúì êðåéçè, à òî êàêâè ôðèéêîâå èìàëî :-Ð - Íå ñå îòâàðÿé, ãîäçèë! - Îêè, ÷óê÷î :Ð - Àéäe äà ñìåíèì òåìàòà íà ðàçãîâîðà è äà ïðîÿâèì ðàçáèðàíå êúì ïðîáëåìèòå îò çàáúðçàíîòî íè åæåäíåâèå. - Äîáðå äå, òúêìî èçëÿçîõìå íà ôèíàëíàòà ïðàâà íà êîíâåðñåéøúíà çà êîìïþòúðèòå íè. - Êàæè íÿêîé ïðîáëåì îò çàáúðçàíîòî íè åæåäíåâèå. - Îòêúäå äà çíàì çà êàêúâ ïðîáëåì îò çàáúðçàíîòî íè åæåäíåâèå äà ãîâîðÿ. -  çàáúðçàíîòî åæåäíåâèå èìà ìàãúçèíè. - Äà áå òè ÷åòåø ëè Ïåöå ãåéìåðëåíä? - Àç ïðèôúðâàì ãåéìúðè ìàãúçèí. - Ãàñè òúïîòî! - Òè ñè òúï :Ð! - Äóõàé ëå! - Ñìó÷è! - Ïî ãóä äà íè ñú ôëåéìóîðâàìå, êî øú êàèø? - Äóáðå. - À óå íÿêîé ìîè ëè äà ìè êàè êàê äà ñè - Êî? - ïîïðàâÿ êîìïþòàðà ùîòî ìè äàâà ñèí Êëîçå. - È êî ïèøå íà èêðàíà? - Êëîçå ñèíüî ïèøå íåùî ìàé ñà ãî êîïíàëè îò õåêñ åäèòîðà è ñà ãî ïàñíàëè íà åêðàíà. - Îòäå äà çíàì... Ïîçíàâàõ åäèí ÷îâåê, êîéòî èìà åêñïèðèúíñ ñ òàêèâà íåùà. - Êàòî ïîçíàâàø ÿ ãî êîëíè äà äîéäè äà ñåéíè íåùî. - Îêè, òîé ÿ â ÷àòðóì Õàêåðè-3 åé ñåãà øú ãî èíâàéòíà. ... - Êàêâî ïèøå íà åêðàíà? - Îòäå äà çíàì, íÿêâî îò õåêñ åäèòîð êîïíàòî. - Àêî íå ìè êàæåø êàêâî ïèøå, íå ìîà äà òè õåëïíà. - Å, æàëêî. - Àéäå, ÷å òðÿáâà äà îáÿñíÿâàì íà åäíè, ñ êàêúâ ïðîãðàìåí obgekt-oryented åçèê äà ïî÷íàò äà ïðîãðàìèðâàò. - Îêè. - BMW, íÿêîé îò ìàíîâåòå òóêà ìîæå ëè äà ïðîãðàìèðâà? - Àç íå ìîãà :ð - È àç íè ìîãà. - È àç. Òè äà íå áè äà ìîæåø, à? - Äà :Ð - Åé, õàêåð÷å, à? - Äà
[JOKES] na gyza na geografiata
http://www.humgat.kiev.ua/%7Eshadow/map.jpg p.s. poiasnenie - rodinka oznachava i benka:
[JOKES] mishana
http://www.betaone.net/forums/uploads/post-13-1030446872.jpg mim lalala.gif Description: GIF image
[JOKES] bulgarian breakfast
http://welin.etaligent.net/zakuska.jpg
[JOKES] super cat
http://www.csh.rit.edu/~wxs/images/humor/DCP_0076.jpg mim lalala.gif Description: GIF image
[JOKES] shit list
The Ghost Shit The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl. The Clean Shit The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper. The Wet Shit You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks. The Second Wave Shit This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more. The Brain Hemorrahage Through Your Nose Shit Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke. The Corn Shit No explanation necessary. The Lincoln Log Shit The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush. The Nororius Drinker Shit The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush. The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting. The Wet Cheeks Shit Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water. The Liquid Shit That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute. The Mexican Food Shit A class all its own. The Crowd Pleaser This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing. The Mood Enhancer This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again. The Ritual This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper. The Guinness Book Of Records Shit A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations. The Aftershock Shit This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected. The "Honeymoon's Over" Shit This is any shit created in the presence of another person. The Groaner A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance. The Floater Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings. The Ranger A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper. The Phantom Shit This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there. The Peek-A-Boo Shit Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control. The Bombshell A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities. The Snake Charmer A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless. The Olympic Shit This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit. The Back-To-Nature Shit This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car. The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit. Premeditated Shit Laxative induced. Doesn't count. Shitzopherenia Fear of shitting - can be fatal! Energizer Vs. Duracell Shit Also known as a "Still Going" shit. The Power Dump Shit The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done. The Liquid Plumber Shit This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Shit.) The Spinal Tap Shit The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways. The "I Think I'm Giving Birth Through My Asshole" Shit Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards. The Porridge Shit The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless. The "I'm Going To Chew My Food Better" Shit When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning. The "I
[JOKES] Dialog
Title: FW: Dialog äÉÁÌÏÇ: - ëÁÐÉÔÁÎÅ! îÁ ËÏÒÁÂÁ ÉÍÁ ÐÒÏÂÏÊÎÁ! - ëßÄÅ? - îÁ ÌÅ×ÉÑ ÂÏÒÄ, ÐÏÄ ×ÁÔÅÒÌÉÎÉÑÔÁ! - çÏÌÑÍÁ ÌÉ Å ÐÒÏÂÏÊÎÁÔÁ? - íÎÏÇÏ! - íÏÖÅÍ ÌÉ ÄÁ Ñ ÚÁÐÕÛÉÍ? - îÅ ÍÉÓÌÑ, ËÁÐÉÔÁÎÅ! - çÏÔ×ÅÔÅ ÓÐÁÓÉÔÅÌÎÉÔÅ ÌÏÄËÉ! - îÑÍÁÍÅ ÔÁËÉ×Á... - á ËÁË×Ï ÉÍÁÍÅ? - óÐÁÓÉÔÅÌÎÁ ÖÉÌÅÔËÁ, ÎÏ ÓÁÍÏ ÅÄÎÁ ... ëÁÐÉÔÁÎßÔ ÍÉÇÏÍ ÎÁ×ÌÉÞÁ ÖÉÌÅÔËÁÔÁ É ÓËÁÞÁ ÚÁÄ ÂÏÒÄÁ. - åÊ, ËÁÐÉÔÁÎÅ! óÔÏÊ! áÂÅ ÐßÒ×É ÁÐÒÉÌ ÓÍÅ ÄÎÅÓËÁ ÂÅ! äÁ, ÐÉÞÏ×Å, ÍÁÊ ÞÅ ÛÅÇÁÔÁ ÔÏÚÉ ÐßÔ ÎÅ ÎÉ ÓÅ ÏÔÄÁÄÅ. ëÁË×Ï ÝÅ ËÁÖÅÍ ÎÁ ÚÅÍÑÔÁ ÓÅÇÁ... "ëÁË×Á ×ÁÔÅÒÌÉÎÉÑ ÂÅ, ËÁËß× ËÏÒÁ ÂÅ, ÍÁÁ ÍÕ ÄÅÂÁ!" - ÐÓÕ×ÁÛÅ ËÁÐÉÔÁÎÁ ÎÁ ÓÁÍÏÌÅÔÁ, ÓÔÒÅÍÉÔÅÌÎÏ ÐÒÉÂÌÉÖÁ×ÁÊËÉ ÓÅ ËßÍ ÚÅÍÑÔÁ ...
[JOKES] Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2002 16:50:22 +0300
Title: FW: Evrei :) ïÔÉ×ÁÔ Ä×ÁÍÁ Å×ÒÅÉ × ÁÄÍÉÎÉÓÔÒÁÃÉÑÔÁ ÎÁ ÐÒÉÓÔÁÎÉÝÅÔÏ. - éÓËÁÍÅ ÄÁ ÐÏÒÁÂÏÔÉÍ ÍÁÌËÏ, ÎÑÍÁ ÌÉ ÎÑËÁË×Á ÒÁÂÏÔÁ ÚÁ ÎÁÓ? - þÕÄÅÓÎÏ, ÉÍÁ ÒÁÂÏÔÁ! ôÒÑÂ×Á ÄÁ ÓÅ ÂÏÑÄÉÓÁ ÅÄÉÎ ÐÁÒÁÈÏÄ. ðÏÄÐÉÓÁÌÉ ÄÏÇÏ×ÏÒÁ, ÚÁÐÏÞÎÁÌÉ Å×ÒÅÉÔÅ ÄÁ ÒÁÂÏÔÑÔ. óÌÅÄ Ä×Á ÄÎÉ ÏÔÉ×ÁÔ × ÏÆÉÓÁ: - ó×ßÒÛÉÈÍÅ ÒÁÂÏÔÁÔÁ, ÐÌÁÔÅÔÅ ÎÉ ÓÅÇÁ. - ëÁË ÔÁËÁ ÓÔÅ Ó×ßÒÛÉÌÉ ×ÓÉÞËÏ?! îÅÝÏ ÍÎÏÇÏ ÂßÒÚÏ ... ýÅ ÉÄÅÍ ÄÁ ÐÒÏ×ÅÒÅÉÍ... ïÔÉ×ÁÔ ÐÒÉ ÐÁÒÁÈÏÄÁ - ÄÅÊÓÔ×ÉÔÅÌÎÏ, ×ÓÉÞËÏ ÂÏÑÄÉÓÁÎÏ. ïÂÉËÁÌÑÔ ÇÏ ÏÔ ÄÒÕÇÁÔÁ ÓÔÒÁÎÁ - ÝÏ ÚÁ ÇÌÕÐÏÓÔÉ - ÎÑÍÁ É ÓÌÅÄÁ ÏÔ ÂÏÑÄÉÓ×ÁÎÅ. ðÉÔÁÔ Å×ÒÅÉÔÅ: - ëÁË ÍÏÖÅÔÅ ÄÁ ÇÏ×ÏÒÉÔÅ, ÞÅ ÓÔÅ Ó×ßÒÛÉÌÉ ×ÓÉÞËÏ? á ÔÏ×Á ËÁË×Ï Å? - ÷ÓÉÞËÏ Å ÐÏ ÄÏÇÏ×ÏÒ. - íÏÌÑ?? - áÍÉ, ÞÅÔÅÔÅ ÓÁÍÉ: îÉÅ, Ä×ÁÍÁ Å×ÒÅÉ ÏÔ ÅÄÎÁ ÓÔÒÁÎÁ É ÁÄÍÉÎÉÓÔÒÁÃÉÑÔÁ ÎÁ ÐÒÉÓÔÁÎÉÝÅÔÏ ÏÔ ÄÒÕÇÁ ÓÔÒÁÎÁ, ÓÅ ÚÁÄßÌÖÁ×ÁÍÅ ÄÁ ÂÏÑÄÉÓÁÍÅ ÐÁÒÁÈÏÄÁ ...
[JOKES]
ëaË×Ï Å ÔÏ×Á "ÅÄÉÎ ÂÉÔ"? åÄÉÎ ÂÁÊÔ ÍÉÎÕÓ ÄÁÎßÃÉÔÅ.
[JOKES] Jaser Arafat
Title: FW: Jaser Arafat syobshtenie po radioto "Zhenata na Jaser Arafat rodila triznaci" Vednaga otgovornost za tova poeli 3 arabski teroristichni grupirovki
[JOKES] klasika
Title: FW: klasika ä×ÁÍÁ ÐÒÉÑÔÅÌÉ ÒÁÚÇÏ×ÁÒÑÔ: - ðÒÅÄÓÔÁ×ÑÛ ÌÉ ÓÉ, ×ÒßÝÁÍ ÓÅ ×ËßÝÉ, ÏÔ×ÁÒÑÍ ÇÁÒÄÅÒÏÂÁ, Á ÔÁÍ - ÇÏÌ ÍßÖ! - áÍÉ ÎÉÝÏ ÎÏ×Ï ÐÏÄ ÓÌßÎÃÅÔÏ - ËÁÚÁÌ ÄÒÕÇÉÑÔ. - ëÁË ÔÁËÁ ÎÉÝÏ ÎÏ×Ï??? áÍÁ ÁÚ ÎÅ ÓßÍ ÖÅÎÅÎ
