Re: [JOYnet] Re: Dowry issue
Hi Priya, I think "dowry" or "share" system existed in India for good reasons in the past.The boy's parents gave him his share ,the girls parents gave her her share and supported them to set up a new family .Since everybody was not so well to do, they needed the support of their parents to start the new unit of family,which is not the case with most of the youngsters these days.They make their own living. Now ,this system was misused to the extend that a lot of crimes took place because of this and a law had to be made against this. Now a days in some cases the major criteria for an alliance is probably the "share" or "dowry", which does not sound nice.It's because of the "programming " that people have in their mind from a long time. Well, this is where we have to work on. We have to hang in loose in this area ,pray and let God work in us to find the one He has in mind for us. But definitely, the girl child is also eligible for an equal share of her parents properties as the boy is. I don't know what's wrong in that. Please correct me if I am wrong Thanks Praise God George Kuriakose NJ USA --- Priya Joy <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Many of our friends said that it's the guys who > should refuse dowry & its > girls family should also take a firm decision not to > offer dowry. > I wonder why you people did not talk much about the > girl who is still silent > & supporting this evil system in Kerala which has > taken roots all over > India. > > About 3years back in my Postgraduate class, we had a > paper about this dowry > system. We in our college (St.Teresa's college, > Ernakulam) had a hot > discussions and debate on the same. Finally we > conducted a survey on this, > we prepared questionnaires, and conducted interviews > etc. result was that > among girls, 83% of educated girls supported dowry. > According to them dowry > is a must because it helps them financially to raise > a secure family and > more over it's the duty of the parents to offer an > ample share of their > property to the girl who is leaving her home. > > Yaa they don't want to use the term dowry, but want > to call it 'Share', a > loving share from their own family. > Rose, as you said the whole society have to change & > attitude have to > change(is it easy?) still doubt how many > girls will come forward to marry a man who won't > demand any dowry and how > may gals will take a resoultion that she will marry > a man who won't demand > any dowry Think it will take time to bring such > a change in Indian > women. > > > Priya > Cochin > > > - Original Message - > From: rose antony <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Sent: Monday, December 03, 2001 8:49 PM > Subject: [JOYnet] Re: Dowry issue > > > > U TOOK ME ABSOLUTELY WRONG,Suresh. > > I never ever said it's only for guys, because i > know more girls /girls' > parents than guys who insist on giving dowry just to > SHOW OFF their > financial status. I have some examples in My fathers > family - My cousin was > getting married and the guy said he doesn't need a > 'chilli kaasu', but my > aunty insisted on giving the dowryjust to show > off ! the result now is > that the guy has got a major ego problem with his > in-laws. he still feels > that he was bought for a ransom amount. > > I have a dentist friend, he claims that he spent > loads and loads to do his > BDS & MDS and he insists on taking dowry for the > money he had to spent to re > ach where he is now. > > I don't wanna say it's only guys...more than > the candidates, it's > their relatives who pricks them about the need of > taking and giving a good > money as dowry. > > > This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth > mailing list. > To unsubscribe, send a mail to > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > To subscribe to this mailing list, visit > http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet > For automatic help, send a mail to > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > In case of any issue related to the mailing list > contact > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Send your FREE holiday greetings online! http://greetings.yahoo.com This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. To unsubscribe, send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] To subscribe to this mailing list, visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet For automatic help, send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] In case of any issue related to the mailing list contact [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [JOYnet] Re: Dowry issue
Many of our friends said that it's the guys who should refuse dowry & its girls family should also take a firm decision not to offer dowry. I wonder why you people did not talk much about the girl who is still silent & supporting this evil system in Kerala which has taken roots all over India. About 3years back in my Postgraduate class, we had a paper about this dowry system. We in our college (St.Teresa's college, Ernakulam) had a hot discussions and debate on the same. Finally we conducted a survey on this, we prepared questionnaires, and conducted interviews etc. result was that among girls, 83% of educated girls supported dowry. According to them dowry is a must because it helps them financially to raise a secure family and more over it's the duty of the parents to offer an ample share of their property to the girl who is leaving her home. Yaa they don't want to use the term dowry, but want to call it 'Share', a loving share from their own family. Rose, as you said the whole society have to change & attitude have to change(is it easy?) still doubt how many girls will come forward to marry a man who won't demand any dowry and how may gals will take a resoultion that she will marry a man who won't demand any dowry Think it will take time to bring such a change in Indian women. Priya Cochin - Original Message - From: rose antony <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Monday, December 03, 2001 8:49 PM Subject: [JOYnet] Re: Dowry issue > U TOOK ME ABSOLUTELY WRONG,Suresh. > I never ever said it's only for guys, because i know more girls /girls' parents than guys who insist on giving dowry just to SHOW OFF their financial status. I have some examples in My fathers family - My cousin was getting married and the guy said he doesn't need a 'chilli kaasu', but my aunty insisted on giving the dowryjust to show off ! the result now is that the guy has got a major ego problem with his in-laws. he still feels that he was bought for a ransom amount. > I have a dentist friend, he claims that he spent loads and loads to do his BDS & MDS and he insists on taking dowry for the money he had to spent to re ach where he is now. > I don't wanna say it's only guys...more than the candidates, it's their relatives who pricks them about the need of taking and giving a good money as dowry. This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. To unsubscribe, send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] To subscribe to this mailing list, visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet For automatic help, send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] In case of any issue related to the mailing list contact [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[JOYnet] Re: Dowry issue
U TOOK ME ABSOLUTELY WRONG,Suresh. I never ever said it's only for guys, because i know more girls /girls' parents than guys who insist on giving dowry just to SHOW OFF their financial status. I have some examples in My fathers family - My cousin was getting married and the guy said he doesn't need a 'chilli kaasu', but my aunty insisted on giving the dowryjust to show off ! the result now is that the guy has got a major ego problem with his in-laws. he still feels that he was bought for a ransom amount. I have a dentist friend, he claims that he spent loads and loads to do his BDS & MDS and he insists on taking dowry for the money he had to spent to reach where he is now. I don't wanna say it's only guys...more than the candidates, it's their relatives who pricks them about the need of taking and giving a good money as dowry. Yesterday i got a funny mail from a joynetter saying that if a female teacher is looking for an engineer partner, what is wrong in taking dowry. What i mean to say that the entire system is going in a wrong way. We need to change our attitude. Even though you or myself talk that it's a bad system...we have something some kind of attitude running through our blood , which is almost hereditary and we find it so difficult to change ourselves. Rose. "Suresh Kumat T. Jose" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: Hello Lina & Rose, Why this advise to Guys only??? first of all this should go to bride's parents. I know many incidents where guy dont want dowry and gilrs parents not ready to accept marriage without giving dowry... This u can't defend since me too experinced this fate any girls ready to say that u are not ready to give dowry and u will accept guys who dont want this dowry? Your bother, Suresh >about dowry, what can we do about it ? law's solution has been exhausted. >what remains is the people's initiative. what else can be done.[IMAGE] > >that's where the jy could make a differenceany takers, guys? > >(sorry if i have offended certain masculine sensibilities...of course i >know of quite a few jys who have refused taking dowry...so cool it, >guys!!! no offence meant to our precious jy brothers in Christ! [IMAGE]) > >lina > II LL.M. student, > The National Law School of India University, >Nagarbhavi, >Bangalore. Colombo, Sri Lanka Visit my web page : www.crash.to/suresh Buy the perfect holiday gifts at Yahoo! Shopping. This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. To unsubscribe, send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] To subscribe to this mailing list, visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet For automatic help, send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] In case of any issue related to the mailing list contact [EMAIL PROTECTED]
