[lace-chat] Who makes the coffee? :-)))
A husband and wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ... "HEBREWS" To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Fun URL
Turn up the sound and make sure you shake that snow globe for the best effect!!! Click here: Holiday Snowglobe If the above link doesn't work, try this one: http://ww12.e-tractions.com/snowglobe/globe.htm Carole Dublin, OH USA [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Swimsuit (v.long,funny)
Tamara reminded me about this. Apologies if its been on chat before. I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and humiliation known as buying a bathing suit. When I was a child in the 1950's, the bathing suit for a woman with a mature figure was designed for a woman with a mature figure - boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job. Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the pre-pubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip. The mature woman has a choice - she can either front up at the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's Fantasia - or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands. What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks. The reason for this is that any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash. I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror - my bosom had disappeared! Eventually, I found one bosom cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib. The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her bosom spread across her chest like a speed hump. I realigned my speed hump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment. The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately, it only fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized cling wrap. As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the pre-pubescent sales girl popped head through the curtains, "Oh There you are!" She said, admiring the bathing suit...I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two-piece which gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serviette ring. I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged frill and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane pregnant with triplets and having a rough day. I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them. Finally, I found a suit that fit...a two-piece affair with shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge friendly, so I bought it. When I got home, I read the label, which said, "Material may become transparent in water." I'm determined to wear it anyway...I'll just have to learn to do the breaststroke in the sand. And, summer is so close!!! >AUTHOR UNKNOWN To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] first paychecks
I am so envious!! I had a beautiful group of day lilies for years... and then the dog died. Which meant that the deer population now saw our yard as open territory. Now, my poor lilies begin to bud, and before they can open the herd wipes them out. G!! That makes me feel better about hunters and deer. MUCH better. Clay > 18 years later, I have "Tiger Babies" > lilies all along the top of my retaining wall, and still a good stand of > "Pink Perfection" and "White Henryi". > > Lynn Carpenter in SW Michigan, USA > alwen at i2k dot com To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] first paychecks
I well remember what I bought with one of my first paychecks: I was slaving in a baby clothing factory, and I sent away for a stunning $56 worth of lily bulbs that I had been circling in the catalog for at least 3 years. "Tiger Babies," "White Henry", "Pink Perfection", "Harlequin hybrids". I sweated about spending the money for months afterwards, but these days I am not sorry at all: 18 years later, I have "Tiger Babies" lilies all along the top of my retaining wall, and still a good stand of "Pink Perfection" and "White Henryi". Lynn Carpenter in SW Michigan, USA alwen at i2k dot com To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Re: red shoes
No, I never had red shoes. I have the family "Frisian feet", wide across the toe (4") and narrow at the heel (2"). When I find shoes that just plain fit, it's a cause for celebration, doubly so if they're not tan boats. And if they fit at the toe AND the heel, heck, I'd throw a party just for the shoes as guests of honor! When I buy shoes, I walk down the row to my size (approx. US 9), look for 9Wide, xxx out all the tan boats, and pick from what's left. Boo hoo, I can't remember that "what's left" has ever been red! My red-shoe equivalent was a pair of knee-high zip-up suede boots that I wore and wore and wore until the synthetic rubbery soles got some kind of plastic "disease" and started to stick to things. My current equivalent is a little pair of suede ankle boots made in Rumania or some lovely European country where feet are not size 3 and 2 inches wide. They fit at the toe AND the heel, and I've worn them to enough parties, I guess they do deserve their own by now. Lynn Carpenter in SW Michigan, USA alwen at i2k dot com To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] red shoes, slippers
I can't remember having red shoes, but I do remember persuading my mother that I could not live without a pair of red leather bed-room slippers with a moccasin front, high heels and a surround of fake black fur. I thought they were wonderful and wore them until they wore out. Angel Thompson in Worcestershire UK [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] Red shoes
Dear Pam, I have in my closet right now a pair of red cfm pumps with stiletto heels. I haven't heard that saying of Joan Crawford's since the early 70s in London. God, you brought back heaps of memories and laughs in one fowl swoop. My CFM pumps were navy blue and worked a treat every time :) :) Love David in Ballarat I only bought them about 3 years ago, but I'd been waiting 30 years to find the right pair that fit me. When I did, they were mine! Pam Dotson To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
