[lace-chat] :) Fwd: Nuns and bad language
From: R.P. A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it." "When did you use this awful language?" "Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go at least 280 yards, but it struck a phone line hanging over the fairway and fell straight to the ground after going only about 100 yards." "Is that when you swore?" "No, Mother. A squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away." "Is THAT when you swore?" "Well, no. You see, an eagle swooped down, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!" "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun. "No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball." "Did you swear THEN?" "No. The ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole." The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the damn putt, didn't you? --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] :) Fwd: Social conscience?
Haven't had a nice laweyer-bash in a while This one's really good... From: R.P. One afternoon a wealthy lawyer in a limousine saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you." "But sir. I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree" "Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also." The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!" "Bring them all, as well." They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!" --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Secret Pal letter from Helene
Dear Secret Pal, thank you for your email. I hopw you have a lovely trip! Your itinary sounds really nice. I haven't been to Ulura, yet, I've only lived in Australia for 35 years..:-) I'm looking forward to meeting you at the Conference, but you will have to find me, since I don't know who you are! Until then, have a wonderful time Helene, the froggy from Melbourne Find local movie times and trailers on Yahoo! Movies. http://au.movies.yahoo.com To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]