[lace-chat] Re: Dating after sixty

[Tamara P. Duvall]

On Jan 26, 2005, at 20:48, Helene Gannac wrote:
"Dating After Sixty"
I love that one, Tamara! Must try to remember it in a few years 
time...if I can :-)
I wish you'd mentioned the date it appeared on chat, as I can't 
remember what you're talking about, even if I am still 5yrs short of 
the big six-oh :(

--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)
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[lace-chat] Dating after sixty (lace-chat)

[Helene Gannac]

>"Dating After Sixty"

I love that one, Tamara! Must try to remember it in a few years time...if I can 
:-)

Helene, the froggy from Melbourne, who's sick of the heat. Why can't we exchange
with some of that lovely snow you're having in Europe and the US, I don't know!!

Find local movie times and trailers on Yahoo! Movies.
http://au.movies.yahoo.com

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Re: [lace-chat] :) Fwd: anti-Darwin award?

[Martha Krieg]

Clearly, the person was very disturbed - now the question is, was he 
depressed enough that this counts as an act of temporary insanity? Or 
is he fully legally responsible?  What if he's a known mentally-ill 
person whose medications are not effective enough?

He's going to be tried for manslaughter (= unintentional killing of 
humans), according to the evening news.


This morning during the AM rush hour, a man decided to commit 
suicide by parking his car on the commuter railroad tracks.  The car 
was hit first by a passenger train, which derailed.  The mess was 
then hit by another train going the other direction, which also 
derailed.  Ten people were killed and about 200 were injured.

At the last minute before the crash, the guy had a change of heart 
and got out, leaving his car on the tracks.  He's unharmed.

I hope he gets life in prison with no chance of parole.
--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)
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--
--
Martha Krieg   [EMAIL PROTECTED]  in Michigan
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[lace-chat] anti-Darwin award?

[Noelene Lafferty]

Tamara, this happened within the last 24 hours or so in
California somewhere - it's on the Australian news today.
Sadly, it's for real.

Noelene in Cooma
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
http://members.ozemail.com.au/~nlafferty/

This morning during the AM rush hour, a man decided to commit suicide 
by parking his car on the commuter railroad tracks. The car was hit 
first by a passenger train, which derailed. The mess was then hit by 
another train going the other direction, which also derailed. Ten 
people were killed and about 200 were injured.

At the last minute before the crash, the guy had a change of heart and 
got out, leaving his car on the tracks. He's unharmed.

I hope he gets life in prison with no chance of parole.

-- 
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)

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[lace-chat] :) Fwd: anti-Darwin award?

[Tamara P. Duvall]

Can't take responsibility for either the authenticity or the timeliness 
of the following, but it's an interesting story, if only somewhat 
amusing (if one has a "bent" for irony)

From: R.P.
This morning during the AM rush hour, a man decided to commit suicide 
by parking his car on the commuter railroad tracks.  The car was hit 
first by a passenger train, which derailed.  The mess was then hit by 
another train going the other direction, which also derailed.  Ten 
people were killed and about 200 were injured.

At the last minute before the crash, the guy had a change of heart and 
got out, leaving his car on the tracks.  He's unharmed.

I hope he gets life in prison with no chance of parole.
--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)
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[lace-chat] :) Fwd: Yearly Physical

[Tamara P. Duvall]

I don't think it's too smutty for chat. And it's hillarious as well as 
being short and sweet...

From: L.W.
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging
along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old 
man, "I
need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."
--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)
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[lace-chat] :) Fwd: Pittsburgh Women

[Tamara P. Duvall]

It pays to be careful when picking a wife... :)
From: R.P.
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their 
new wives duties.  The first man had married a woman from Alabama, and 
bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes 
and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it 
took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house 
and the dishes were all washed and put away.
 
The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had 
given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and 
the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, 
but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, 
the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on 
 the table.

The third man had married a Pittsburgh girl. He boasted that he 
told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, 
lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. 
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't 
see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down 
and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a 
bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper. 

--
Tamara P Duvallhttp://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)
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[lace-chat] Friend holidaying in Thailand is back

[Jean Nathan]

DH's friend, Dave, who runs the "last of the summer wine" coffee stall in
Poole and who was on holiday in Thailand when the tsunami struck has finally
returned home safe. Dave and his friend were on the other side of Thailand,
500 miles away from the tsunami and didn't even feel the earthquake. The
first they knew there was a problem was when the friend's mobile phone
starting ringing and they decided to ignore it. When Dave's rang they
decided that someone was obviously trying to contact them. It was Dave's
ex-wife. His friend immediately asked if she'd run out of money already - it
seems he still supports her and she's always running out of money. When she
asked if they were OK, they realised that something must have happened, but
didn't realise the extent of it until they tuned in to a radio news program.
As they weren't affected at all, they continued with their holiday.

Jean in Poole

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[lace-chat] Fw: [Vets' Wives-Families] TOP 8 MORONS OF 2004

[Lynn Weasenforth]

Lynn
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

TOP 8 MORONS OF 2004
Danny
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

TOP 8 MORONS OF 2004

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter 
after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a 
$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking 
intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two 
hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his 
home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man 
was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and 
give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a 
motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, 
wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank 
accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for 
all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he 
tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until 
police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery 
suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives 
asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or 
I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife 
is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her 
first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her 
husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King 
was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a 
weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun... Unfortunately, 
he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the 
high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, 
were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get 
their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every 
maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of 
trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone 
there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check 
revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the 
out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and 
pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. 
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in 
place, was the trailer!







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Re: [lace-chat] Intelligence of Garbage Disposal Disposal Operatives (!)

[Carol Adkinson]

Jean and Spiders,

The last paragraph made me smile wryly!Far be it from me to insult any
dustbin men but .Our daughter-in-law was at our house one Thursday
morning, with her car on the road outside our house.   Thursday is the day
for wheelie-bin collection.

My husband happened to be looking out of the lounge window, and was just
attempting to say to Anne "That wagon is going to come awfully close to your
car"  when there was a horrrendous wrending noise, the sentence wasn't
completed, and Anne's car - the first car of her own - was being trampled on
by the dustbin wagon.  The car looked as if it had been run over by a tank!
It was a complete write-off, Anne was devastated and, despite the assurance
of the Waste Disposal Facility Manager in Hadleigh (Suffolk) that Anne and
Duncan wouldn't suffer *any* financial loss by the incident, of course they
did!Anne has not been able to replace the car - they can't afford it,
but everyone in the cul-de-sac now hustles out early on the mornings that
the rubbish is to be collected, to put their cars safely on the drives -
their own drives, or anyone else's, if their own are full!However, it
hasn't changed the actions of the dustbin men - the wagon is driven
backwards up the road, at speeds which would make Michael Scumacher look
slow - admittedly, they have the alarm sounding whilst the vehicle is in
reverse, but I am sure it is only another accident waiting to happen - our
road has several small and not-so-small children living in it, not to
mention the nieces, nephews, grandchildren etc. who caome to visit.

Carol - in Suffolk UK.



 Yes, I think they're
> insulting the intelligence of the bin men too.
>
> Jean in Poole
>
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