[lace-chat] surnames & titles
Hi Spiders, I've enjoyed reading all the different view points, as they've popped up. I've retained my original surname, it's mine why should I change it? Marriage and procreation hasn't changed that. My 3 children have their dad's surname (we are married), and my surname is their middle name (for all 3). Couldn't quite inflict the double-barrelled name on them, personally, but I believe that the link to my family is just as important as the paternal one. I think go with what ever YOU are comfortable with. Most of the adults my children (11, 9 and 4 yrs old) know are happy for them to be addressed by first names, some of my parents' friends are happier with Mrs/Mr X, that's fine as well. Whatever the adult is comfortable with. One thing that absolutely drives me crazy, is my darling father (and I do love him dearly). I have an older brother, who has 3 kids, one son. I am the one interested in family history, not my brother or his kids (in their early 20's). So why is Dad keeping the original documents regarding the 'Audsleys' for my brother & nephew (inlcuding the really old and precious stuff), as "Real Audsley's", and every other family history document he has that is "non-Audsley" for me? AAaaarrrgghhh. I'm more an Audsley than my nephew. Jen in Melbourne, Australia. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] a laugh
Thought that some may get a chuckle from this one. Jen in Melbourne, Australia (hot and sunny 37 degrees celcius) - There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother. 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He couldn't get a fair trial. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with His hands. 2. He had wine with His meals. 3. He used olive oil. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 1. He never cut His hair. 2. He walked around barefoot all the time. 3. He started a new religion. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian: 1. He was at peace with nature 2. He ate a lot of fish 3. He talked about the Great Spirit. But then there were 3 equally good arguments the Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a WOMAN: 1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do. AMEN! - -- To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Hallowe'en/celebrations in general
That's interesting Jean. I had assumed Halloween was celebrated in the UK because of a an ex-neighbour of mine. Jane would now be in her mid-40's, and is an English-born Aussie citizen, who moved away from my street a couple of years ago. Anyhow, Jane always arranged a get-together on Halloween for the kids in the street, as that is what was done when she was a little girl in England. A bit of a party at her place first, with the kids in costume and games like bobbing for apples etc. Then she would herd the group of kids around several houses in the street - all prearranged, so you knew they were coming. Hallowen hasn't been a traditional celebration in Australia, there is a little push for it these days but hasn't really caught on. Jen in Melbourne (who thinks grumpy old women and men are fun) To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] language evolution/disappearing
There was an article in an Australian newspaper on Saturday (The Age in Melbourne, Good Weekend supplement) discussing disappearing Aboriginal languages. Thought the following may be of interest in light of the recent linguistics discussion: "A language expires on average every two years in Australia, and every fortnight worldwide. Of the 250-odd Aboriginal languages (comprising up to 700 dialects) spoken at the time of colonisation, each as different from the other as English and Dutch, some 55 have already gone, and the rate of extinction has never been higher." Jen in Melbourne (ps - Yvonne, how about one of my personal favourites "he's got a head like a half-sucked Twistie" for your list?) To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Modern fairy tale
This is the fairy tale that we should have been reading as little kids! Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't ing think so... Jen in Melbourne, Australia To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Latest Star Wars movie
Hi Spiders, I saw SW Ep III a week ago with 2 of my boys (aged almost 10 and almost 8). They are SW fanatics - as is their little brother, aged 3 and a half, who was WAY young to see the movie, but is very cross he didn't get to see it. They loved it. They found 2 scenes a bit confronting, but nothing too bad. >From an adult perspective, it is very long and a bit boring, however there are >some good bits interspersed here and there, and I absolutely loved the last 5 >minutes or so. It segues beautifully and cleverly into Ep IV, almost bought a >tear to my eye! As someone who has always enjoyed the SW saga, I think it is >well worth the price to see how everything all ties in. There are plenty of >faults, and I found some the supposed motivation unconvincing, but am glad to >have seen it. Enjoy it (no lace outfits for Padme in this one, tho plenty of dumb outfits - why didn't someone have a long talk with George Lucas??? Three strings of pearls around the shoulders/decolletage on a negligee - youch!!) Jen in chilly Melbourne, Australia. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] pinatas
>I think they went through the line about three times before the rope >finally broke and the child with the bat pulled off the blindfold and >beat the thing to pieces. This comment brings a smile to my face. The first time I made a pinata I just flew by the seat of my pants, thinking "I can do that". Well, it was in the shape of a big red-backed spider, and ended up looking great. Papier-mache over balloon. I had been concerned about it not being strong enough to hold all the goodies, so there was quite a few newspaper layers. Big mistake. This thing was getting whacked and whacked by a great line of kids, with no sign of wear or tear. Eventually it was split by the biggest kid, without a blindfold, using my Mum's walking stick!! Came down with a large tear in it, and then disappeared under a swarm of yelling boys. Everyone had fun tho, and no injuries. Jen in Melbourne (where it is a gorgeous, sunny 28 degrees C - in autumn!) To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] The Rooster
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster". He takes her hand and says "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then. he said with a deep sigh" "Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box." Jen in Melbourne (Yes, I am blonde: white blonde as a kid altho sadly now just a dirty blonde colour) To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Truly awful 1970's recipes
Hi Spiders, Take a look at this site for a few chuckles and some horrific cuisine, featuring some weight watchers recipes cards from the 1970's. For those who prefer to avoid expletives, be warned the comments along with them contain the odd one or two http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html Jen, in a suddenly cold and wet Melbourne. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] shee pee
Hmmm, I didn't have to login to The Age website. Here's another approach - a link to the company that makes the disposable "funnels" that are vital for the entire process. Also has a link to the Shee Pee in use at Glastonbury. http://www.p-mate.com/eng/intro.html Jen in Melbourne To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] public toilets #2
Hi Spiders, I seem to have a toilet theme at the moment - have a look at this newspaper web address to find out more on the "Shee-pees". It's a female-only public urinal! http://theage.com.au/articles/2005/01/19/1106074829825.html?oneclick=true Jen in Melbourne To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] The trials of public toilets
Hi Spiders, I think that most list members will be able to relate to at least some of the following Jen, in a warm and muggy Melbourne, Australia. -- A trip to the restroom from a woman's point of view My mother was a fanatic about public bathrooms. When I was a little girl, she'd take me into the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, NEVER sit on a public toilet seat. Then she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. By this time, I'd have wet down my leg and we'd have to go home to change my clothes. That was a long time ago. Even now, in my more "mature years", "The Stance" is excruciatingly difficult to maintain, especially when one's bladder is full. When you have to "go" in a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women that makes you think there's a half-price sale on Nelly's underwear in there. So, you wait and smile politely at all the other ladies, who are also crossing their legs and smiling politely. You get closer and check for feet under the stall doors. Every one is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter. The dispenser for the new fangled "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook if there was one - but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly hang it around your neck. (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!). You yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance" A, relief. But then your thighs begin to shake. You'd love to sit down but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance" as your thighs experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter scale. To take your mind off of your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you would have tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle, and sliding down, directly onto the insidious toilet seat. You bolt up quickly, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly ashamed of you if she knew, because you're certain that her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get." By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes,sending up a stream of water akin to a fountain that suddenly sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged off to China. At that point, you give up. You're soaked by the splashing water. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket, then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past a line of women, still waiting, cross-legged at this point, no longer able to smile politely. One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you are trailing a piece of toilet paper as long as the Mississippi River on your shoe! (Where was it when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this." As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has since entered, used and exited the men's restroom and read a copy of War and Peace while waiting for you. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?" This is dedicated to women everywhere who have ever had to deal with a public restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men w
[lace-chat] Cattern cookies
Hi Pene, I tried your Cattern cookie recipe on the weekend and they turned out great. Crisp, crunchy and delicious. I'm not a big fan of caraway seeds, but loved these biscuits (I included the currants). Thanks for the recipe, Jen in Melbourne, Australia (where it's cool and overcast this morning) To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] husband superstore
Hi Tamara et al, >Show me a man who goes to a hardware store to buy a screwdriver, and >leaves 5 minutes later, with the first one which came to hand... :) Luckily for men there are no rules for choice in a hardware store. The probability of any man leaving a hardware store within 5 minutes would be very close to zero. And to leave having purchased only that item he went in for - impossible :) Jen To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Husband Superstore
Hi Spiders, This one gave me a good laugh! _ Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands... First floor The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went. Second floor The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?" Third floor This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went. Fourth floor This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went. Fifth floor The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are f .. king impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs." _ Jen in Melbourne :) To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] "n" animals
Hi Jean, As all the Australian contingent will know, there is also an Australian mammal (endangered unfortunately) called a numbat. Cute and furry, a little like an overgrown mouse with a long nose. Jen in Melbourne To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] software upgrade - husband 1.0
Hi Spiders, A suggestion to those who are having enormous trouble with "Spouse1.0". I found that version 1.0 was fundamentally flawed, and attempting to install service patches was not possible. I had no choice but to delete the program entirely. In time I bought the latest version - "Spouse 2.0". While there are still a few software bugs, this version is a vast improvement - I'll keep running it . Jen in Melbourne, Aust. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Mother's Day
Hi Spiders, It's Mother Day today (Sunday 9th May) in Australia - so Happy Mother's Day to all. As a mum, thanks to the kids for the privilege of being a parent (and to the blokes for helping make them ). Big hugs to those mothers and children who can't be together today. Jen --- Jennifer Audsley in a somewhat overcast, but curiously mild, Melbourne Aust. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
