Re: [Ubuntu Oregon] Flyer nearing a wrap
On Thu, Jun 28, 2012 at 06:25:15PM -0700, Benjamin Kerensa wrote: > On 06/28/2012 04:31 PM, James Bradley wrote: > > > >On 06/28/2012 03:57 PM, Brian Murray wrote: > >>On Wed, Jun 27, 2012 at 01:23:16PM -0700, James Bradley wrote: > >>>Here's the latest iteration on the flyer project. At this point, unless > >>>someone can provide more fodder for the verbiage or constructive ideas > >>>about the layout, I'll just be making minor refinements from here on out. > >>> > >>>Please take a moment to review the publication; Scribus doesn't have a > >>>spell or grammar checker so be on the lookout for typos or things that > >>>don't read right. Any feedback is welcome. > >>'remain committed to educating others' makes it sound like something > >>happened and commitment wavered which I don't think is the case. I'd > >>just go with 'are committed'. > >> > >>'millions and millions' of people seems strange to me too. I think > >>millions gets the point across. > >> > >>The mention of Debian will be confusing for people just reading about > >>Ubuntu for the first time. > >> > >>I believe page one capitalize Open Source and page two does not. > >> > >>There is a period after 'creative pursuits.' but the sentence carries > >>on. much like this one. > >> > >>'hundreds of dollars just try something new' might be missing a 'to'. > >> > >>I might stick the contact information on both sides as I personally > >>missed the url in the beginning and then at "the end" was wondering how > >>to contact the team. > >> > >>Thanks it looks pretty neat! > >> > >>-- > >>Brian Murray > >> > >> > > > >Good points, Brian. > > > >The "remain" isn't mine; it's from existing materials. Ben, since > >you're calling the shots, what do you think? If the point is to > >underscore the commitment, perhaps the term "stand committed" > >would serve better? > Sounds nice. > > > >I struggled with the "millions and millions" myself, but just > >"millions" seems too much an understatement, (and Carl Sagan said, > >"billions and billions and billions"). How about "many millions", > >(which might be construed as a overstatement, but what the heck)? > Many millions or untold millions? I think it is told but the number isn't very accurate and changes more often than the flyer will. Subsequently, I'd go with 'many millions' if you want it to seem like lots of millions. -- Brian Murray signature.asc Description: Digital signature -- Ubuntu-us-or mailing list Ubuntu-us-or@lists.ubuntu.com Modify settings or unsubscribe at: https://lists.ubuntu.com/mailman/listinfo/ubuntu-us-or
Re: [Ubuntu Oregon] Flyer nearing a wrap
On 06/28/2012 04:31 PM, James Bradley wrote: On 06/28/2012 03:57 PM, Brian Murray wrote: On Wed, Jun 27, 2012 at 01:23:16PM -0700, James Bradley wrote: Here's the latest iteration on the flyer project. At this point, unless someone can provide more fodder for the verbiage or constructive ideas about the layout, I'll just be making minor refinements from here on out. Please take a moment to review the publication; Scribus doesn't have a spell or grammar checker so be on the lookout for typos or things that don't read right. Any feedback is welcome. 'remain committed to educating others' makes it sound like something happened and commitment wavered which I don't think is the case. I'd just go with 'are committed'. 'millions and millions' of people seems strange to me too. I think millions gets the point across. The mention of Debian will be confusing for people just reading about Ubuntu for the first time. I believe page one capitalize Open Source and page two does not. There is a period after 'creative pursuits.' but the sentence carries on. much like this one. 'hundreds of dollars just try something new' might be missing a 'to'. I might stick the contact information on both sides as I personally missed the url in the beginning and then at "the end" was wondering how to contact the team. Thanks it looks pretty neat! -- Brian Murray Good points, Brian. The "remain" isn't mine; it's from existing materials. Ben, since you're calling the shots, what do you think? If the point is to underscore the commitment, perhaps the term "stand committed" would serve better? Sounds nice. I struggled with the "millions and millions" myself, but just "millions" seems too much an understatement, (and Carl Sagan said, "billions and billions and billions"). How about "many millions", (which might be construed as a overstatement, but what the heck)? Many millions or untold millions? I believe the proper name of the event does include "Debian". Personally, I feel giving Debian some credit is a good move politically. The front of the flyer does try to address a more informed reader, while the back is more for the newcomer. But what is the consensus? I concur on giving credit while at the same time wonder if Debian names off all upstream projects it benefits from? Do we potentially confuse some or give credit where credit is due? Or perhaps I can make better credit on the site and that could be sufficient since our hope is that the reader will eventually visit the website and signup for our mailing list etc. I wonder if slangasek has any feedback on this one. "Open Source" on page two, now. Preposition, "to", added to specified sentence. Duplicated URL at end of "~ for Home" section. Thanks, again, Brian. JVLB -- Benjamin Kerensa http://benjaminkerensa.com "I am what I am because of who we all are" - Ubuntu -- Ubuntu-us-or mailing list Ubuntu-us-or@lists.ubuntu.com Modify settings or unsubscribe at: https://lists.ubuntu.com/mailman/listinfo/ubuntu-us-or
Re: [Ubuntu Oregon] Flyer nearing a wrap
On 06/28/2012 03:57 PM, Brian Murray wrote: > On Wed, Jun 27, 2012 at 01:23:16PM -0700, James Bradley wrote: >> Here's the latest iteration on the flyer project. At this point, unless >> someone can provide more fodder for the verbiage or constructive ideas >> about the layout, I'll just be making minor refinements from here on out. >> >> Please take a moment to review the publication; Scribus doesn't have a >> spell or grammar checker so be on the lookout for typos or things that >> don't read right. Any feedback is welcome. > 'remain committed to educating others' makes it sound like something > happened and commitment wavered which I don't think is the case. I'd > just go with 'are committed'. > > 'millions and millions' of people seems strange to me too. I think > millions gets the point across. > > The mention of Debian will be confusing for people just reading about > Ubuntu for the first time. > > I believe page one capitalize Open Source and page two does not. > > There is a period after 'creative pursuits.' but the sentence carries > on. much like this one. > > 'hundreds of dollars just try something new' might be missing a 'to'. > > I might stick the contact information on both sides as I personally > missed the url in the beginning and then at "the end" was wondering how > to contact the team. > > Thanks it looks pretty neat! > > -- > Brian Murray > > Good points, Brian. The "remain" isn't mine; it's from existing materials. Ben, since you're calling the shots, what do you think? If the point is to underscore the commitment, perhaps the term "stand committed" would serve better? I struggled with the "millions and millions" myself, but just "millions" seems too much an understatement, (and Carl Sagan said, "billions and billions and billions"). How about "many millions", (which might be construed as a overstatement, but what the heck)? I believe the proper name of the event does include "Debian". Personally, I feel giving Debian some credit is a good move politically. The front of the flyer does try to address a more informed reader, while the back is more for the newcomer. But what is the consensus? "Open Source" on page two, now. Preposition, "to", added to specified sentence. Duplicated URL at end of "~ for Home" section. Thanks, again, Brian. JVLB -- Ubuntu-us-or mailing list Ubuntu-us-or@lists.ubuntu.com Modify settings or unsubscribe at: https://lists.ubuntu.com/mailman/listinfo/ubuntu-us-or
Re: [Ubuntu Oregon] Flyer nearing a wrap
On Wed, Jun 27, 2012 at 01:23:16PM -0700, James Bradley wrote: > Here's the latest iteration on the flyer project. At this point, unless > someone can provide more fodder for the verbiage or constructive ideas > about the layout, I'll just be making minor refinements from here on out. > > Please take a moment to review the publication; Scribus doesn't have a > spell or grammar checker so be on the lookout for typos or things that > don't read right. Any feedback is welcome. 'remain committed to educating others' makes it sound like something happened and commitment wavered which I don't think is the case. I'd just go with 'are committed'. 'millions and millions' of people seems strange to me too. I think millions gets the point across. The mention of Debian will be confusing for people just reading about Ubuntu for the first time. I believe page one capitalize Open Source and page two does not. There is a period after 'creative pursuits.' but the sentence carries on. much like this one. 'hundreds of dollars just try something new' might be missing a 'to'. I might stick the contact information on both sides as I personally missed the url in the beginning and then at "the end" was wondering how to contact the team. Thanks it looks pretty neat! -- Brian Murray signature.asc Description: Digital signature -- Ubuntu-us-or mailing list Ubuntu-us-or@lists.ubuntu.com Modify settings or unsubscribe at: https://lists.ubuntu.com/mailman/listinfo/ubuntu-us-or
Re: [Ubuntu Oregon] Flyer nearing a wrap
On Wednesday, June 27, 2012 01:23:16 PM James Bradley wrote: > Here's the latest iteration on the flyer project. At this point, unless > someone can provide more fodder for the verbiage or constructive ideas > about the layout, I'll just be making minor refinements from here on out. > > Please take a moment to review the publication; Scribus doesn't have a > spell or grammar checker so be on the lookout for typos or things that > don't read right. Any feedback is welcome. > > JVLB > > Ben, > When you're ready to go to press, let me know and I'll send you the > latest revision along with the native Scribus file for the Launchpad > archive. Looks good, I'll likely take a closer look tomorrow (I'm one who is really big on grammar and checks even his Facebook posts twice before submitting) and it will likely get some improvement in the grammar area. -c_smith -- Ubuntu-us-or mailing list Ubuntu-us-or@lists.ubuntu.com Modify settings or unsubscribe at: https://lists.ubuntu.com/mailman/listinfo/ubuntu-us-or
Re: [Ubuntu Oregon] Flyer nearing a wrap
On 06/27/2012 01:23 PM, James Bradley wrote: Here's the latest iteration on the flyer project. At this point, unless someone can provide more fodder for the verbiage or constructive ideas about the layout, I'll just be making minor refinements from here on out. Please take a moment to review the publication; Scribus doesn't have a spell or grammar checker so be on the lookout for typos or things that don't read right. Any feedback is welcome. JVLB Ben, When you're ready to go to press, let me know and I'll send you the latest revision along with the native Scribus file for the Launchpad archive. It looks real crisp... I think it will work great! -- Benjamin Kerensa http://benjaminkerensa.com "I am what I am because of who we all are" - Ubuntu -- Ubuntu-us-or mailing list Ubuntu-us-or@lists.ubuntu.com Modify settings or unsubscribe at: https://lists.ubuntu.com/mailman/listinfo/ubuntu-us-or
