RE: [UC] Dear Adeline
Title: Message Maybe it was a moss-covered, three-handled, family gredunza. Kathleen -Original Message-From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pete CoyleSent: Thursday, November 11, 2004 4:14 PMTo: [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: Re: [UC] Dear Adeline "FINALLY, the old bathtub has about sixteen legs, a layer of thick green moss all over it, and big scary hairs growing out of the bunghole." This was the line that had me laughing out loud. :Pete On Thursday, November 11, 2004, at 03:47 PM, Mario Giorno wrote: Ross, My day was just shitty until I read Dear Adeline. Thanks for putting a smile on my face! Mario :-P -Original Message- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2004 3:10 PM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: [UC] Dear Adeline Dear Adeline: I've just moved into my DARLING charming and elegant old fixer-upper in UC Village (of course it's in the Catchment Basin for the new Judy Rodin School of Disembodied Poetics) and it is simply GORGEOUS! Only one problemo -- the kitchen and bathroom floors simply WON'T DO!! I mean, they've got those stinky white vinyl blocks and crappy tiny tiles -- you know the kind that I mean? So like positively RETRO! I mean, we're talking SO twenty seconds ago, know what I mean? What do YOU advise? Also, while we were moving in my boyfriend got mugged RIGHT ON THE FRONT STEPS!! I mean, I thought this was a nice SAFE neighborhood!! Of course I got a description of the PERP and I cellphoned it to Mommy RIGHT AWAY! The guy was of course a big scary black fellow, about 6 feet 9 inches tall, really dark complexion, thick lips, scars all over his body, wearing this creepy gray hoody kinda thing. OH, and I jotted down a DISTINGUISHING MARK -- he had these big white buck teeth and in the middle of the left front incisor he had this HOLE chiseled out in the shape of a HEART! And he kinda lisped. And he said his name was Frank. So hopefully the police can put away this evildoer PRETTY SOON. I hope! Or we might have to consider moving back to Narberth. I mean, jeez, our real estate agent told us this was a SAFE neighborhood. FINALLY, the old bathtub has about sixteen legs, a layer of thick green moss all over it, and big scary hairs growing out of the bunghole. OF COURSE the first thing I thought was like this has SO got to be replaced, but then my boyfriend was flipping through the recent issue of Urban Homes and Gardens and he saw where these Yuppies in Detroit had their old 16-legger refinished and they redid the whole bathroom in sort of New Age/Art Deco style and won the Suburban Plastic Cheese award, so can you give me any advice? ALSO, my hind end is getting sorta saggy, I mean I AM almost 30 years old now, so I was wondering is there a good Nip 'n Tuck place in the Hood? Of course I make an annual trip to Singapore for you know like augmentations and such, but for say a monthly toneup I'd like to use some local craftsman. Do you know any good pizza places that deliver? And where we can get the Beemer serviced? And speaking of servicing, can you tell me (just between us girls) where el boyfriendo can get a nice BLOW JOB? I mean, you know how men are these days, and I really find that kind of stuff kinda DISTASTEFUL, know what I mean? Plus Arthur always wants me to swallow, and I'm like YECCH, gag me with a spoon. So I was reading in COSMO that nowadays young wives are like "OUTSOURCING" these unpleasant domestic duties and I figured in a hip and trendy neighborhood like UC Village there MUST be a service. Guess that's about all I can think of right now. At any rate, I'm trying to think and nothing happens. Thanks for all the inside TIPS! Luvya. Ciao, babe. Ross Bender http://rossbender.org
RE: [UC] Dear Adeline
No way, the best part was the Suburban Plastic Cheese. That's the part that made Bender laugh out loud when he wrote it, and then he looked sheepishly around to see if anyone caught him laughing at his own funny. ELISABETH DUBINHillier ARCHITECTUREOne South Penn Square, Philadelphia, PA 19107-3502 | T 215 636- | F 215 636-9989 | hillier.com From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pete CoyleSent: Thursday, November 11, 2004 4:14 PMTo: [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: Re: [UC] Dear Adeline "FINALLY, the old bathtub has about sixteen legs, a layer of thick green moss all over it, and big scary hairs growing out of the bunghole." This was the line that had me laughing out loud. :Pete On Thursday, November 11, 2004, at 03:47 PM, Mario Giorno wrote: Ross, My day was just shitty until I read Dear Adeline. Thanks for putting a smile on my face! Mario :-P -Original Message- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2004 3:10 PM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: [UC] Dear Adeline Dear Adeline: I've just moved into my DARLING charming and elegant old fixer-upper in UC Village (of course it's in the Catchment Basin for the new Judy Rodin School of Disembodied Poetics) and it is simply GORGEOUS! Only one problemo -- the kitchen and bathroom floors simply WON'T DO!! I mean, they've got those stinky white vinyl blocks and crappy tiny tiles -- you know the kind that I mean? So like positively RETRO! I mean, we're talking SO twenty seconds ago, know what I mean? What do YOU advise? Also, while we were moving in my boyfriend got mugged RIGHT ON THE FRONT STEPS!! I mean, I thought this was a nice SAFE neighborhood!! Of course I got a description of the PERP and I cellphoned it to Mommy RIGHT AWAY! The guy was of course a big scary black fellow, about 6 feet 9 inches tall, really dark complexion, thick lips, scars all over his body, wearing this creepy gray hoody kinda thing. OH, and I jotted down a DISTINGUISHING MARK -- he had these big white buck teeth and in the middle of the left front incisor he had this HOLE chiseled out in the shape of a HEART! And he kinda lisped. And he said his name was Frank. So hopefully the police can put away this evildoer PRETTY SOON. I hope! Or we might have to consider moving back to Narberth. I mean, jeez, our real estate agent told us this was a SAFE neighborhood. FINALLY, the old bathtub has about sixteen legs, a layer of thick green moss all over it, and big scary hairs growing out of the bunghole. OF COURSE the first thing I thought was like this has SO got to be replaced, but then my boyfriend was flipping through the recent issue of Urban Homes and Gardens and he saw where these Yuppies in Detroit had their old 16-legger refinished and they redid the whole bathroom in sort of New Age/Art Deco style and won the Suburban Plastic Cheese award, so can you give me any advice? ALSO, my hind end is getting sorta saggy, I mean I AM almost 30 years old now, so I was wondering is there a good Nip 'n Tuck place in the Hood? Of course I make an annual trip to Singapore for you know like augmentations and such, but for say a monthly toneup I'd like to use some local craftsman. Do you know any good pizza places that deliver? And where we can get the Beemer serviced? And speaking of servicing, can you tell me (just between us girls) where el boyfriendo can get a nice BLOW JOB? I mean, you know how men are these days, and I really find that kind of stuff kinda DISTASTEFUL, know what I mean? Plus Arthur always wants me to swallow, and I'm like YECCH, gag me with a spoon. So I was reading in COSMO that nowadays young wives are like "OUTSOURCING" these unpleasant domestic duties and I figured in a hip and trendy neighborhood like UC Village there MUST be a service. Guess that's about all I can think of right now. At any rate, I'm trying to think and nothing happens. Thanks for all the inside TIPS! Luvya. Ciao, babe. Ross Bender http://rossbender.org
Re: [UC] Dear Adeline
"FINALLY, the old bathtub has about sixteen legs, a layer of thick green moss all over it, and big scary hairs growing out of the bunghole." This was the line that had me laughing out loud. :Pete On Thursday, November 11, 2004, at 03:47 PM, Mario Giorno wrote: Ross, My day was just shitty until I read Dear Adeline. Thanks for putting a smile on my face! Mario :-P -Original Message- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2004 3:10 PM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: [UC] Dear Adeline Dear Adeline: I've just moved into my DARLING charming and elegant old fixer-upper in UC Village (of course it's in the Catchment Basin for the new Judy Rodin School of Disembodied Poetics) and it is simply GORGEOUS! Only one problemo -- the kitchen and bathroom floors simply WON'T DO!! I mean, they've got those stinky white vinyl blocks and crappy tiny tiles -- you know the kind that I mean? So like positively RETRO! I mean, we're talking SO twenty seconds ago, know what I mean? What do YOU advise? Also, while we were moving in my boyfriend got mugged RIGHT ON THE FRONT STEPS!! I mean, I thought this was a nice SAFE neighborhood!! Of course I got a description of the PERP and I cellphoned it to Mommy RIGHT AWAY! The guy was of course a big scary black fellow, about 6 feet 9 inches tall, really dark complexion, thick lips, scars all over his body, wearing this creepy gray hoody kinda thing. OH, and I jotted down a DISTINGUISHING MARK -- he had these big white buck teeth and in the middle of the left front incisor he had this HOLE chiseled out in the shape of a HEART! And he kinda lisped. And he said his name was Frank. So hopefully the police can put away this evildoer PRETTY SOON. I hope! Or we might have to consider moving back to Narberth. I mean, jeez, our real estate agent told us this was a SAFE neighborhood. FINALLY, the old bathtub has about sixteen legs, a layer of thick green moss all over it, and big scary hairs growing out of the bunghole. OF COURSE the first thing I thought was like this has SO got to be replaced, but then my boyfriend was flipping through the recent issue of Urban Homes and Gardens and he saw where these Yuppies in Detroit had their old 16-legger refinished and they redid the whole bathroom in sort of New Age/Art Deco style and won the Suburban Plastic Cheese award, so can you give me any advice? ALSO, my hind end is getting sorta saggy, I mean I AM almost 30 years old now, so I was wondering is there a good Nip 'n Tuck place in the Hood? Of course I make an annual trip to Singapore for you know like augmentations and such, but for say a monthly toneup I'd like to use some local craftsman. Do you know any good pizza places that deliver? And where we can get the Beemer serviced? And speaking of servicing, can you tell me (just between us girls) where el boyfriendo can get a nice BLOW JOB? I mean, you know how men are these days, and I really find that kind of stuff kinda DISTASTEFUL, know what I mean? Plus Arthur always wants me to swallow, and I'm like YECCH, gag me with a spoon. So I was reading in COSMO that nowadays young wives are like "OUTSOURCING" these unpleasant domestic duties and I figured in a hip and trendy neighborhood like UC Village there MUST be a service. Guess that's about all I can think of right now. At any rate, I'm trying to think and nothing happens. Thanks for all the inside TIPS! Luvya. Ciao, babe. Ross Bender http://rossbender.org
RE: [UC] Dear Adeline
Title: Message Ross, My day was just shitty until I read Dear Adeline. Thanks for putting a smile on my face! Mario :-P -Original Message-From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2004 3:10 PMTo: [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: [UC] Dear Adeline Dear Adeline: I've just moved into my DARLING charming and elegant old fixer-upper in UC Village (of course it's in the Catchment Basin for the new Judy Rodin School of Disembodied Poetics) and it is simply GORGEOUS! Only one problemo -- the kitchen and bathroom floors simply WON'T DO!! I mean, they've got those stinky white vinyl blocks and crappy tiny tiles -- you know the kind that I mean? So like positively RETRO! I mean, we're talking SO twenty seconds ago, know what I mean? What do YOU advise? Also, while we were moving in my boyfriend got mugged RIGHT ON THE FRONT STEPS!! I mean, I thought this was a nice SAFE neighborhood!! Of course I got a description of the PERP and I cellphoned it to Mommy RIGHT AWAY! The guy was of course a big scary black fellow, about 6 feet 9 inches tall, really dark complexion, thick lips, scars all over his body, wearing this creepy gray hoody kinda thing. OH, and I jotted down a DISTINGUISHING MARK -- he had these big white buck teeth and in the middle of the left front incisor he had this HOLE chiseled out in the shape of a HEART! And he kinda lisped. And he said his name was Frank. So hopefully the police can put away this evildoer PRETTY SOON. I hope! Or we might have to consider moving back to Narberth. I mean, jeez, our real estate agent told us this was a SAFE neighborhood. FINALLY, the old bathtub has about sixteen legs, a layer of thick green moss all over it, and big scary hairs growing out of the bunghole. OF COURSE the first thing I thought was like this has SO got to be replaced, but then my boyfriend was flipping through the recent issue of Urban Homes and Gardens and he saw where these Yuppies in Detroit had their old 16-legger refinished and they redid the whole bathroom in sort of New Age/Art Deco style and won the Suburban Plastic Cheese award, so can you give me any advice? ALSO, my hind end is getting sorta saggy, I mean I AM almost 30 years old now, so I was wondering is there a good Nip 'n Tuck place in the Hood? Of course I make an annual trip to Singapore for you know like augmentations and such, but for say a monthly toneup I'd like to use some local craftsman. Do you know any good pizza places that deliver? And where we can get the Beemer serviced? And speaking of servicing, can you tell me (just between us girls) where el boyfriendo can get a nice BLOW JOB? I mean, you know how men are these days, and I really find that kind of stuff kinda DISTASTEFUL, know what I mean? Plus Arthur always wants me to swallow, and I'm like YECCH, gag me with a spoon. So I was reading in COSMO that nowadays young wives are like "OUTSOURCING" these unpleasant domestic duties and I figured in a hip and trendy neighborhood like UC Village there MUST be a service. Guess that's about all I can think of right now. At any rate, I'm trying to think and nothing happens. Thanks for all the inside TIPS! Luvya. Ciao, babe. Ross Benderhttp://rossbender.org
RE: [UC] Dear Adeline
Title: Message Y'All, On a peripheral not I'm taking on some side work doing some "OUTSOURCED" male domestic duties. Ladies of UC, you can contact me at 1-888-MR-RIGHT. I'm in with the hip and trendy connubial outsourcing market. Mario "The Ladies Home Companion" Giorno "Roaarr -Original Message-From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2004 3:10 PMTo: [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: [UC] Dear Adeline Dear Adeline: I've just moved into my DARLING charming and elegant old fixer-upper in UC Village (of course it's in the Catchment Basin for the new Judy Rodin School of Disembodied Poetics) and it is simply GORGEOUS! Only one problemo -- the kitchen and bathroom floors simply WON'T DO!! I mean, they've got those stinky white vinyl blocks and crappy tiny tiles -- you know the kind that I mean? So like positively RETRO! I mean, we're talking SO twenty seconds ago, know what I mean? What do YOU advise? Also, while we were moving in my boyfriend got mugged RIGHT ON THE FRONT STEPS!! I mean, I thought this was a nice SAFE neighborhood!! Of course I got a description of the PERP and I cellphoned it to Mommy RIGHT AWAY! The guy was of course a big scary black fellow, about 6 feet 9 inches tall, really dark complexion, thick lips, scars all over his body, wearing this creepy gray hoody kinda thing. OH, and I jotted down a DISTINGUISHING MARK -- he had these big white buck teeth and in the middle of the left front incisor he had this HOLE chiseled out in the shape of a HEART! And he kinda lisped. And he said his name was Frank. So hopefully the police can put away this evildoer PRETTY SOON. I hope! Or we might have to consider moving back to Narberth. I mean, jeez, our real estate agent told us this was a SAFE neighborhood. FINALLY, the old bathtub has about sixteen legs, a layer of thick green moss all over it, and big scary hairs growing out of the bunghole. OF COURSE the first thing I thought was like this has SO got to be replaced, but then my boyfriend was flipping through the recent issue of Urban Homes and Gardens and he saw where these Yuppies in Detroit had their old 16-legger refinished and they redid the whole bathroom in sort of New Age/Art Deco style and won the Suburban Plastic Cheese award, so can you give me any advice? ALSO, my hind end is getting sorta saggy, I mean I AM almost 30 years old now, so I was wondering is there a good Nip 'n Tuck place in the Hood? Of course I make an annual trip to Singapore for you know like augmentations and such, but for say a monthly toneup I'd like to use some local craftsman. Do you know any good pizza places that deliver? And where we can get the Beemer serviced? And speaking of servicing, can you tell me (just between us girls) where el boyfriendo can get a nice BLOW JOB? I mean, you know how men are these days, and I really find that kind of stuff kinda DISTASTEFUL, know what I mean? Plus Arthur always wants me to swallow, and I'm like YECCH, gag me with a spoon. So I was reading in COSMO that nowadays young wives are like "OUTSOURCING" these unpleasant domestic duties and I figured in a hip and trendy neighborhood like UC Village there MUST be a service. Guess that's about all I can think of right now. At any rate, I'm trying to think and nothing happens. Thanks for all the inside TIPS! Luvya. Ciao, babe. Ross Benderhttp://rossbender.org
[UC] Dear Adeline
Dear Adeline: I've just moved into my DARLING charming and elegant old fixer-upper in UC Village (of course it's in the Catchment Basin for the new Judy Rodin School of Disembodied Poetics) and it is simply GORGEOUS! Only one problemo -- the kitchen and bathroom floors simply WON'T DO!! I mean, they've got those stinky white vinyl blocks and crappy tiny tiles -- you know the kind that I mean? So like positively RETRO! I mean, we're talking SO twenty seconds ago, know what I mean? What do YOU advise? Also, while we were moving in my boyfriend got mugged RIGHT ON THE FRONT STEPS!! I mean, I thought this was a nice SAFE neighborhood!! Of course I got a description of the PERP and I cellphoned it to Mommy RIGHT AWAY! The guy was of course a big scary black fellow, about 6 feet 9 inches tall, really dark complexion, thick lips, scars all over his body, wearing this creepy gray hoody kinda thing. OH, and I jotted down a DISTINGUISHING MARK -- he had these big white buck teeth and in the middle of the left front incisor he had this HOLE chiseled out in the shape of a HEART! And he kinda lisped. And he said his name was Frank. So hopefully the police can put away this evildoer PRETTY SOON. I hope! Or we might have to consider moving back to Narberth. I mean, jeez, our real estate agent told us this was a SAFE neighborhood. FINALLY, the old bathtub has about sixteen legs, a layer of thick green moss all over it, and big scary hairs growing out of the bunghole. OF COURSE the first thing I thought was like this has SO got to be replaced, but then my boyfriend was flipping through the recent issue of Urban Homes and Gardens and he saw where these Yuppies in Detroit had their old 16-legger refinished and they redid the whole bathroom in sort of New Age/Art Deco style and won the Suburban Plastic Cheese award, so can you give me any advice? ALSO, my hind end is getting sorta saggy, I mean I AM almost 30 years old now, so I was wondering is there a good Nip 'n Tuck place in the Hood? Of course I make an annual trip to Singapore for you know like augmentations and such, but for say a monthly toneup I'd like to use some local craftsman. Do you know any good pizza places that deliver? And where we can get the Beemer serviced? And speaking of servicing, can you tell me (just between us girls) where el boyfriendo can get a nice BLOW JOB? I mean, you know how men are these days, and I really find that kind of stuff kinda DISTASTEFUL, know what I mean? Plus Arthur always wants me to swallow, and I'm like YECCH, gag me with a spoon. So I was reading in COSMO that nowadays young wives are like "OUTSOURCING" these unpleasant domestic duties and I figured in a hip and trendy neighborhood like UC Village there MUST be a service. Guess that's about all I can think of right now. At any rate, I'm trying to think and nothing happens. Thanks for all the inside TIPS! Luvya. Ciao, babe. Ross Benderhttp://rossbender.org
