Memo to all students:In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T. ). We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any other sc
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. Wh
"I'm in love with my horse," the nervous man told his psychiatrist."Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people are fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog that we are very attached to.""But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel ummm,... 'p
A middle-aged man and woman meet, fall in love, and decide to get married.
On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride
says to her new groom, "Please promise to be gentle,... I am still a virgin."
The startled groom asks, "How can that be? You've been m
When Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he said "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind, good luck Mr. Goorski."
For years, mission control tried to find what he meant by "Good luck Mr. Goorski." They checked with Russian astronauts but could not locate Mr. Goorski. Until
The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-la
Everyone in the hotel was talking about the wedding where the groom was 95 years old and the bride was only 23. The groom looked pretty feeble, and some of the guests thought that the wedding night could kill the old man, because his bride was a healthy and vivacious young woman.
But the ne
Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but its missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike t
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde:We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the swi
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room and she
There is a town in HERTS named TILLIT,
there is a pub in Tillit named COCKWELL INN,
LUCY LYKES is the owner:
ADDRESS:
Lucy Lykes,
the Cockwell Inn,
Tillit, Herts.
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A girl was a prostitute but didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes and the girl was among them.
The police had all the prostitutes line up in a straight line. Along comes the grandmother and sees her granddaughter. Grandma asks her grand-daug
A doctor is giving women full physicals. A woman comes in for a physical. The doctor says, "Here change into this gown, I will turn around and tell me when you are done." The woman changes and tells the doctor to turn around, but she hasn't finished buttoning her gown. The doctor sees on her
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.
The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing, fit to bust. The pharmacist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, if the man returns, to fol
Police officers George and Mary and their police dog had been assigned to walk
a beat.
They had been out only a short time when Mary said,
"Damn, I waas running late this morning after my workout and shower and I
forgot to put on my panties! We have to go back to the station to get them."
"We
The Redneck went to the hospital
As his wife was having a baby.
Upon arriving, the Nurse says
"Congratulations,
Your wife has had quints, 5 big baby boys."
The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney."
The nurse replies, "You might want to consider
Roger marries at age 85
At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old, Jenny
decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate
bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may
overexert himse
TOO OLD TO SQUAT
An elderly man really took care of his body.
He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day.
One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he
was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis.
So he decided to do something about that.
CANNIBAL RESTAURANT
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came
upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over
the menu...
+ Tourist: $5
+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00
+ Baked Democrat or Grilled
The Creator has some great sense of humour.
While creating wives, God promised men that good and obedient wives
would be found in all corners of the world.
And then He made the earth round.
A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and
is taken to the kitchens.
A brother is frying chips.
'Are you the friar?' he asks.
'No.I'm the chip monk,' he replies.
A slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but as
yet unnamed athletic festival 2500 years ago in Greece.
In those days believe it or not the athletes performed naked.
To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drink
containing saltpet
A woman has sued her local hospital saying that after
treating her husband recently he has lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied – “The man was admitted in
Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his eyesight...”
At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker
at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead.
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the Internation
A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Saskatchewan rancher.
One
morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, 'The
Veterinarian is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a
nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn.
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