[PHP] Part Time PHP/MySQL Work Available in Wash. DC

I don't know of a better place to post this. I have a part time position available in Northern Virginia. You MUST be into European cars. MUST work local, NO REMOTE inquiries please. All types of PHP/MySQL work needed. Helpful if you know Perl and Postgres. Rate commensurate w/ experience. Email

[PHP] virtual() ignoring str_replace()

I'm trying to include a .cgi using the virtual() function and then do a string replace on a string w/in the included page. The virtual seems to ignore the str_replace it just prints the virtual include w/out replacing the word "window" w/ the word "DOG" in my example. What am I doing wrong? T