9 Ways to Boost your Spouse's Spirituality
Marriage is considered half of faith in Islam and with good reason. Your
spouse can make or break you spiritually.
With all kinds of daily commitments, work, school, kids and more,
couples today are under more stress than ever before. This is why our
personal relationship with Allah often ends up taking a back seat to
life's mundane tasks. Here are nine ways husbands and wives can help
each other reconnect with Allah and each other.
1. Give the gift of spiritual time
Once couples marry, and
especially after having children, time seems to vanish daily into thin
air. Life becomes a rush of routine and we start to live on autopilot
instead of reminding ourselves that our every moment counts and that we
are accountable to Allah for each one. This is why one of the best ways
to boost your husband or wife's spirituality is to simply give them
time. This can be just half an hour in the evening or in the morning
after Fajr to really connect with Allah by reading Quran, praying some
extra prayers or working on a community project. By offering this gift,
consider that you will be rewarded yourself.
2. Call/email/text message him/her to remind them it's time to pray
Many husbands and wives
check in with each other throughout the day, just to see how things are
going. Why not save the call for when you're about to pray? Injecting a
spiritual reminder amid the mundane comments and inside jokes is a
simple way to remind your spouse to remember Allah in less than five
minutes.
3. Hold the baby while s/he's praying
Focusing during the five
daily prayers, is a daunting task, even if you're in a place with no
distractions. Now imagine trying to do it with a squealing baby or
wriggling toddler in your arms. While the Prophet Muhammad (saww)
regularly demonstrated his mercy towards small children in prayer by
not shooing them away or shouting at them to stay quiet, it would offer
a great spiritual boost if each spouse could take turns watching the
kids so the other one can get at least one prayer a day with fewer
distractions than usual.
4. Babysit while s/he attends Islamic programs or volunteers for a good cause
Spiritual upliftment isn't
just about isolating oneself in the practice of Aitekaf in Ramadan, for
example, or waking up alone to pray the night prayer. It's also about
service to the community and doing things that will benefit others.
That's why watching the kids so that your spouse can attend or run an
Islamic class, plan a mosque open house or organize the next
fundraising dinner is so crucial as an act of spiritual support. If a
parent knows that his or her kids are in good hands, that makes
offering his/her time and talents for the community so much easier.
5. Wake him/her up for Salatul Layl (the night prayer) and pray together
The Prophet Muhammad
(saww) said: "May Allah bless the man who gets up during the night to
pray and wakes up his wife and who, if she refuses to get up, sprinkles
water on her face. And may Allah bless the woman who gets up during the
night to pray and wakes up her husband and who, if he refuses,
sprinkles water on his face."
The Prophet also said: "If a man wakes his wife and prays during the
night or they pray two Rakas (units of prayer) together, they will be
recorded among those who (constantly) make remembrance of Allah."
6. Exercise while remembering Allah together
Instead of whining about
how much weight your wife or husband has gained in the last few years,
spend 10 minutes daily five days a week to take a quick walk while
remembering Allah. You can say the Names of Allah as you walk, glorify
Him (say Subhaan Allah), praise Him (say Alhamdu lillah) or remind each
other of His greatness (say Allahu Akbar).
7. Take turns being the teacher
Don't leave all of the
teaching about Islam to one parent. Take turns telling stories,
teaching the kids how to read the Quran or taking them to the mosque
and Islamic programs. This mutual involvement cements the team spirit
of a couple and the family as a whole.
8. Take responsibility for the household
The Prophet Muhammad
(saww) was well known for helping his family out with the daily chores.
While many men are getting better at following his example by helping
out around the house more, there is plenty of room for improvement. The
key is to offer help that may be small but is consistent. Husbands and
older children can give their wives/mothers more spiritual time by, for
example, washing the dishes after dinner, relieving mom of this task
permanently. The time spent sudsing can instead be used to catch up on
Islamic reading material, for example.
9. Pray and make Dua together
If you don't already do
this, make it a house rule that if both spouses are at home, prayer
must be performed in congregation. “The family that prays together
stays together” is not just bumper sticker fodder. It's wise advice. At
least once a week, follow this up with a short, collective Dua, praying
for your not just your individual concerns, but also your hopes, dreams
and worries as a couple. Sharing life goals and praying for them is a
powerful way to cement your relationship to God and each other.
Ref: www.dartabligh. org
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