On Thursday 03 Apr 2008 8:02:05 pm Deepa Mohan wrote:
> Interesting train of thought Rishab...let's see the stations it takes us
> to!

Absolutely.

Without intending to compare one system with another and appear like I support 
one system as being "superior" to the other I would like to put down a few 
thoughts about parent-arranged marriages versus self arranged couples.

Marriages arranged by parents belong in a set of rules in which the parents 
are supposed to eliminate certain sources of incompatibility. These revolve 
around fundamental differences in attitudes, belief, diet and socio-economic 
background. 

Any other differences are supposed to be handled by the couple by "acceptance" 
and "adjustment" and suppression of one's ego in favor of coexistence. 
Ideally both need to give a bit.

It can easily be seen that the above statement is all that is required for 
compatibility - and that the parents efforts could be meaningless as long as 
the couple are able to live by  "acceptance" and "adjustment" and suppression 
of one's ego in favor of coexistence, and by equal "giving"

The idea of common reading interest as a launch pad for romance appears to be 
a search for yet another touchstone for "long term compatibility". 
Unfortunately I don't think it goes far enough as a test of compatibility. 
Heck even the Indian model of parental pre-marital genetic/social screening 
is hardly enough and remains completely chancy. But anyhow - I guess a common 
interest in books is at least a sign of hope for a lonely person on the 
lookout for romance. The fact that he farts a lot and loudly may come up 
later, but that need not spoil the magic of the moment.

shiv









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