• You might be Indonesian if: • Your stomach growls when you don't eat rice for a day. • You believe kecap ABC could turn bad cooking to gourmet food. • You know more than 10 acronyms/abbreviations. • You talk during a movie. • You use a dipper instead of toilet paper in the bathroom. • You eat fried rice in the morning. • You prefer Versace or Moschino jeans over Gap or Levi's. • You don't think Jim Carrey is funny. • You think Onky Alexander is a hunk. • You think Rhoma Irama is kampungan. • You carry a 16 oz. jar of sambal to where ever you travel. • Driving a car that is cheaper than $15,000 embarrasses you. • You think dangdut is stupid, but listen to it anyway, because you are homesick. • You are willing to travel 25 miles to buy tahu and tempeh. • You are "Dreaming of a WARM Christmas". • You are very good at avoiding potholes and other road hazards. • Your local McDonald's serves rice and sambal. • You think Super Mie is a staple food. • You have ever tried passing a Rp 50 coin as a quarter in a US vending machine or pay phone. • You have ever successfully bribed a police officer. • You have ever successfully bribed a customs officer. • When watching TV you regularly find that all the channels broadcast the same thing. • You do your shopping in Singapore. • Your drivers license claims you are 5 years older then you really are. • You have ever legally bought pirated software or VCDs. • You have ever been forced to memorize UUD'45. • You have bought something from a barefooted street peddler. • You know exactly how many islands Indonesia has. • You have ever eaten something sold off a cart on wheels. • You realized that money is everything before you were six. • The first thing that comes to mind when hearing the word "Jakarta" is "macet". • Someone you know has ever ridden on top of a train. • Your daily commute includes thinking up new ways to ride the city bus for free. • You don't mind people being late. • You think standing in line is a waste of time. • You have tried every Monday of your youth trying to avoid upacara bendera. • You have used a mosquito repellent that looks like a coil and is lit on one end. • You use the terms "Ni yee", "cai-lah" and "Ih, jijay" on daily basis. • You know what Pancasila is, what it means and know it by heart. • You complain that movies in America don't have sub-titles. • Your daily conversation may include enactments of TV commercials. • You have ever consulted a dukun. • Your whole class has ever cheated on a test, and gotten away with it. • You have ever spent the night before an exam looking for someone who sells the questions. • You like the smell of terasi. • You think the Thomas Cup is equal to the Super Bowl. • You can name a manufacturer of shuttlecocks and badminton birdies. • You have a 16' satellite dish hidden in your back yard. • You have ever ridden in a motor vehicle with three wheels. • You miss your maid on laundry day. • Your clothing has brand names printed on it that are visible from 50' away. • You attend weddings only until you are done eating. • You have attended weddings that you are not invited to. • You go to McDonald's to get your weekly supply of ketchup, salt, pepper and napkins. • You know more than one music group that stole the tune of Cranberries' "Zombie". • You have a can of Baygon on your kitchen table. • You make major decisions based on gengsi. • You take advantage of Wal-Mart's 30-day money-back guarantee to "borrow" home appliances. • Someone in your family has extra pockets in his outfit to hide cookies from the all-you-can-eat bar. • You have paid more then $1,000 to get your name on your license plate. • You carry your hand phone always, even to a 'no service' area. • You think bribery as a 'tip in advance'. • You think of the road as a place to park. • You fly Garuda just to get to know the stewardesses. • You send your kids to US & Australia just so they can go to school. • You go to a park and drink 'teh botol'. • You travel to L.A or Sydney from Jakarta more than 3 times a year. • You mix soccer and boxing at the same time. • You consume more cloves in your cigarettes than in your food.. • You have more credit cards than your wallet can hold. • You have a car with 20' wheel. • You work for the government to get rich quick. • Your friends in the US & Australia refer to you as their 'Indonesian connection.' • You have been to a motel that can 'hide' your car. • You give guests a roll of toilet paper or a box of facial tissues to wipe their hands after eating.
