|
LoL good idea... i should do this at work tonight... get it?
-------Original Message-------
Date: Tuesday, December 09, 2003 04:48:39 AM
Subject: [Sndbox] FW: Daily Humorscope for Tuesday, December 9, 2003
![]() |
Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Tuesday, December 9, 2003
If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires. More than once, I would have gladly traded all the gifts I got for a new set of tires.
Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide" |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to power-walk. It not only looks silly, it is silly.
A person wearing a frilly pink tutu will appear, uninvited, at your next potluck event. He will become quite ornery, when you ask him to leave.
This is going to be a fairly peculiar day, for you. You'll end up taking a bus downtown. Two neatly dressed but somewhat short and embittered women will push a cart up and down the aisle in the bus, dispensing packets of honey-roasted peanuts, and miniscule quantities of Diet Coke in plastic glasses.
Say something completely ordinary, today, but follow it with "Get it?" and a big grin. For example, "I'm wearing shoes. Get it?" See who gets it. Avoid them.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Go wild today! Try a different brand of ramen noodles -- or even go so far as to sprinkle a little chopped green onion over them!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you'll idly wonder what ever happened to Alan Alda, since his MASH days. Believe me, you don't want to know. Neither do I (and I don't). I just know that neither of us wants to.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Excellent time to make up your own names for kitchen implements. You'll discover that you don't have nearly enough sticklers, but that you have every reason to be proud of your flatula.
You will aquire a slight sniffle, today. (A sniffle is a cross between a dachshund and a cairn terrier, bred especially to spot helicopters.)
An older friend will avoid you today. Have you considered using any of the vast number of breath-freshening products that are available, these days?
You will be visited by creatures named Cthulhu, Nyarlathotep, Azathoth, Shub-Niggurath, Yog-Sothoth, Ithaqua, Tsathoggua, Dagon, and Bert. You will discover that all of them have atrocious table manners.
This might be a good time to decide what you want to be when you actually do grow up. I'm guessing that you'd be best off as either a yodeling oceanographer, or possibly a bovine pathologist.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
If you act now, you could be the first on your block to have an actual moat and a working drawbridge. Something to consider. |
The Daily Humorscope
Personal Humorscope Subscriptions
Thanks for subscribing to the Daily Humorscope!
This prediction was generated exclusively for Charles Mims.
Please forward this Daily Humorscope to your neighbor, and to all your friends and relatives who you think would like it. You may do anything you like with your Daily Humorscope, as long as you keep this notice intact, except resell it. Please use the Daily Humorscope content service to add it to your web page (coming soon).
To sign up for your own personalized Daily Humorscope, or to report problems, please visit the subscription page.
To change your email options, click here.
Copyright 2003 by Humorscope.com, All Rights Reserved
| 
IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here