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April 15 is tax day in the US, so please read the following to make certain that you have paid all of your taxes for either yourself or your husband or boyfriend. The only thing any Government has not taxed is the male organ. This is due to the fact that: 40 % of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 20 % of the time it is pissed off, 30 % of the time it is hard up, 10 % of the time it is in the hole. On top of this it has two dependents and both of them are nuts! According to the income tax ammendment act 2004, your tool will be taxed according to its size. To determine your category, please refer to Schedule 2 of the Income Tax return Form 8 which states the following: 10 to 12 inches ------ Luxury tax -------- $ 50.00 8 to 10 inches ------- Pole tax -----------$ 45.00 5 to 8 inches -------- Privilege Tax ------$ 40.00 3 to 5 inches -------- Standard Tax ------ $ 30.00 Anyone under 3 inches is entitled to a refund of 20 % and special relief as a handicapped person. Please do not ask for an extension. Those who exceed 12 inches will be liable for Capital Gains Tax. If you have any queries, please contact the nearest Income Tax office. Our staff will be only too willing to handle your problem. |
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