10. There's something half-hearted about the way they say, "Oh
wow -- Q- Tips".
9. They spend Christmas morning making up games involving
wrapping paper.
8. They hire a Gambino family hit man to break Santa's kneecaps.
7. You see them trying to shove everything back up the chimney.
6. Spelled out in Legos on the front lawn are the words "You're
Cheap!!!".
5. Moments after they unwrap gifts, you see them for sale on
E-Bay.
4. Your son simply refuses to understand why you couldn't get him
two hours alone with Cindy Crawford.
3. They cite your gifts as a major factor in their decision to
convert to Islam.
2. You wake up and find the head of Elmo in your bed.
1. They ask, "Where'd you buy this stuff -- Crap `R' Us?"
Charles Mims
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