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Trueisms
Whether
a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on
the kind of chick he
marries.
Trouble in marriage often
starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt
that he forgets his sugar.
Too many couples marry for
better or for worse, but not for good.
When a man marries a woman, they become one, but
the trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.
If a man has enough "horse
sense" to treat his wife like a thoroughbred,
she will never be an old nag.
On anniversaries the wise
husband always forgets the past...but never the
present.
A foolish husband remarks to his wife: "Honey,
you stick to the washin',
ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is
gonna work."
The
bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept
up.
Many girls like to marry a military man--he can
cook, sew, make a bed, and
is in good health...and he's already used to
taking orders.
Time
Changes Everything ....I used to have Saturday Night Fever....Now I
just have Saturday Night hot flashes.
Ever get the feeling your stuff
strutted off without you?
Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old...
as long as she buys him a
few drinks first.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also,
my memory's not as sharp
as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the
wrinkles fill out.
I've still got it, but nobody wants to see
it.
I'm getting into
swing dancing. Not on purpose .... some parts of my body
are just prone to swinging.
It's scary when you start
making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
I think I've reached my sexpiration
date.
These days
about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast
relief."
I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for
people my age.. But they
haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."
Don't let aging get you
down...It's too hard to get back UP!
"The Pessimist complains about the
wind,
The
Optimist hopes it will change,
The
Realist adjusts the sails."
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