Bob,
Here is the docx-file, it is not exactly the same version as I used to create the txt-file, since I continued to look at the figure for the reference topology, and in that process I also corrected a spelling erros and cleared up the text for some comments. The only real change is that I have added an alternative to the figure (note: no problems with the topology itself) for the reference topology at the end of the docx file. /Loa On 20/01/2020 19:12, Bob Hinden wrote:
Loa, Thanks for doing the review. I think it may be worthwhile to also send out the .docx file in addition to the text version. BobOn Jan 19, 2020, at 11:54 PM, Loa Andersson <l...@pi.nu> wrote: WG, I have reviewed the entire document. First, I'm not an IPv6 expert. As far as I can see the sued on I have not used github, I had a couple of attempts to learn the tools, but so far I have failed. I have instead done what I use to do, use the review tool with Word. Since I sometimes have a pushback on the docx-format I save the result as a .txt-file. Drawback is that all comment show up as refrences to a list at the end of the document. But you can't get everything. /Loa PS gives this output for this draft; it is quite a lot and in itself are so much that it is worth sending it bck to the authors and asking them to fix it. Was the noits tool checked at all before starting the wglc? idnits 2.16.02 /tmp/draft-ietf-6man-spring-srv6-oam-03.txt: Checking boilerplate required by RFC 5378 and the IETF Trust (see https://trustee.ietf.org/license-info): ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- No issues found here. Checking nits according to https://www.ietf.org/id-info/1id-guidelines.txt: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- No issues found here. Checking nits according to https://www.ietf.org/id-info/checklist : ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ** There are 3 instances of too long lines in the document, the longest one being 6 characters in excess of 72. == There are 5 instances of lines with non-RFC3849-compliant IPv6 addresses in the document. If these are example addresses, they should be changed. Miscellaneous warnings: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- == The copyright year in the IETF Trust and authors Copyright Line does not match the current year -- The exact meaning of the all-uppercase expression 'MAY NOT' is not defined in RFC 2119. If it is intended as a requirements expression, it should be rewritten using one of the combinations defined in RFC 2119; otherwise it should not be all-uppercase. == The expression 'MAY NOT', while looking like RFC 2119 requirements text, is not defined in RFC 2119, and should not be used. Consider using 'MUST NOT' instead (if that is what you mean). Found 'MAY NOT' in this paragraph: To perform ICMPv6 ping to a target SID an echo request message is generated by the initiator with the END.OP or END.OTP SID in the segment-list of the SRH immediately preceding the target SID. There MAY or MAY NOT be additional segments preceding the END.OP/ END.OTP SID. == The expression 'MAY NOT', while looking like RFC 2119 requirements text, is not defined in RFC 2119, and should not be used. Consider using 'MUST NOT' instead (if that is what you mean). Found 'MAY NOT' in this paragraph: To traceroute a target SID a probe message is generated by the initiator with the END.OP or END.OTP SID in the segment-list of the SRH immediately preceding the target SID. There MAY or MAY NOT be additional segments preceding the END.OP/ END.OTP SID. -- The document date (December 18, 2019) is 32 days in the past. Is this intentional? Checking references for intended status: Proposed Standard ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- (See RFCs 3967 and 4897 for information about using normative references to lower-maturity documents in RFCs) == Missing Reference: 'SL' is mentioned on line 190, but not defined -- Looks like a reference, but probably isn't: '2' on line 191 -- Looks like a reference, but probably isn't: '1' on line 191 -- Looks like a reference, but probably isn't: '0' on line 192 == Missing Reference: 'RFC7011' is mentioned on line 230, but not defined == Missing Reference: 'I-D.ietf-idr-bgpls-srv6-ext' is mentioned on line 241, but not defined == Missing Reference: 'RFC792' is mentioned on line 701, but not defined == Missing Reference: 'RFC 8403' is mentioned on line 660, but not defined == Unused Reference: 'RFC0792' is defined on line 823, but no explicit reference was found in the text == Unused Reference: 'RFC8403' is defined on line 843, but no explicit reference was found in the text == Outdated reference: A later version (-08) exists of draft-ietf-spring-srv6-network-programming-06 Summary: 1 error (**), 0 flaws (~~), 12 warnings (==), 5 comments (--). Run idnits with the --verbose option for more detailed information about the items above. On 05/12/2019 04:53, Ole Troan wrote:Hello, As agreed in the working group session in Singapore, this message starts a new two week 6MAN Working Group Last Call on advancing: Title : Operations, Administration, and Maintenance (OAM) in Segment Routing Networks with IPv6 Data plane (SRv6) Author : Z. Ali, C. Filsfils, S. Matsushima, D. Voyer, M. Chen Filename : draft-ietf-6man-spring-srv6-oam-02 Pages : 23 Date : 2019-11-20 https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-6man-spring-srv6-oam/ as a Proposed Standard. Substantive comments and statements of support for publishing this document should be directed to the mailing list. Editorial suggestions can be sent to the author. This last call will end on the 18th of December 2019. To improve document quality and ensure that bugs are caught as early as possible, we would require at least two reviewers to do a complete review of the document. Please let the chairs know if you are willing to be a reviewer. The last call will be forwarded to the spring working group, with discussion directed to the ipv6 list. Thanks, Bob & Ole, 6man co-chairs -------------------------------------------------------------------- IETF IPv6 working group mailing list i...@ietf.org Administrative Requests: https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/ipv6 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Loa Andersson email: l...@pi.nu Senior MPLS Expert Bronze Dragon Consulting phone: +46 739 81 21 64 <draft-ietf-6man-spring-srv6-oam-03.txt>
-- Loa Andersson email: l...@pi.nu Senior MPLS Expert Bronze Dragon Consulting phone: +46 739 81 21 64
draft-ietf-6man-spring-srv6-oam-03-A.docx
Description: MS-Word 2007 document
_______________________________________________ spring mailing list spring@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/spring
