Chris, UK wrote: >> why do these problems NOT occur in the milongas of BsAs and, IMHO, the >> answer is obvious. The codes of the milonga prevent it. > > This is a misunderstanding. The codes of BA milongas prevent nothing. They > are simply a description of prevalent behaviour.
Precisely. The codes are a *result* of what people deem acceptable behaviour, not their source. An etiquette is *a* set of codes that allow people to know how to behave (i.e. to avoid embarassment, ambiguity and loss of face), but they can only work if everybody shares the underlying ethos and social customs. > >> cabaceo should be encouraged even if everybody knows everybody else. The problem with cabeceo is that it doesn't work unless *everyone* at a milonga uses it. Of course, you can build a group that refuses to acknowledge social rules that would be deemed normal outside of BsAs tango (i.e. followers who'll refuse a dance to someone asking for it explicitly), but that's very, very, very sectarian - and it creates yet another hurdle for newcomers and encourages clique building. Let's face it: the cabeceo simply arose as a device to prevent the leader from losing face when a follower refuses a dance. I personally don't live in BsAs and my ego isn't shot down in flames if someone simply tells me "no" (or even when she uses an excuse like "I'm too tired" or "my feet hurt"), so I don't live in a social context in which cabeceo invitations are *necessary*. I do "cabeceo" at times (certainly with followers who know me) but I'm not going to consider it dogma. > Uh oh. Next it'll be milonga etiquette instructional placemats again... Fix the problems (leaders behaving rudely and hogging good followers) and the etiquette's actual implementation becomes irrelevant; it will tend to grow naturally in a form that is matched to established local social customs. -- Alexis Cousein [EMAIL PROTECTED] Senior Systems Engineer/Solutions Architect SGI/Silicon Graphics -- <If I have seen further, it is by standing on reference manuals> _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list Tango-L@mit.edu http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l