I am sitting around the house Saturday afternoon, and the phone
is ringing off the wall.      I thought it was strange that a telemarketer
could be so persistent, and after about 5 calls, they finally left a
message on the recorder.

It was someone who didn't speak English, and I only heard the word
"Goodwill", so I presumed they were asking for a donation.

A short while later, my wife came home and she was distraught.
She had lost her purse again ( the 3rd time in less than 5 months. )

It sounded like she had lost our house payment, but she was so
upset, I couldn't make any sense out of her as she was having
a nervous breakdown.

As she drove off to re-trace her footsteps, I tried to warn her that
she was not in a condition to drive, especially since she had
lost her driver's license.

About 2 hours later, she returned empty handed crying.

It is really hard to comfort a hard-headed person who doesn't learn
from their mistakes, but I did the best I could under the circumstances.

I asked her where she last saw the purse and she said the "Goodwill"
store.

I told her that somebody from Goodwill had been calling the house
like crazy for the past 2 hours.

My wife had been back to the Goodwill store and nobody there had
seen it.      I called the store myself and they told me the same thing.

Fortunately, we had an answering machine, and the people that
found her purse had left a vague message that they would call
us back.     I tried to *69 them, but that did not work.

We normally don't answer our home phone because 90 percent
of the calls are solicitors or creditors.      So, we patiently waited
by the phone.

They finally called back.        They lived less than an hour away
and my wife was able to retrieve her purse.

There is a moral to this story.        Never put all your eggs in
one basket.       Never carry your valuables when you don't need
to.       I have 2 wallets and only carry one with me and hide the
other at home or in the car's spare tire compartment.      I keep a
little bit in each.      I don't normally carry much cash on me.
Keep your charge cards in a safe place.
Ladies should not carry so much important stuff in their purses.      People
who carry a lot of keys on one key-chain are just shooting themselves in
the foot.     Get 2 or 3 key-chains and carry only the keys you need to where
you are going.  Leave the other key chains in the glove box or at
home.      Don't let yourself get distracted in public places.
Don't
set your wallet down on the counter of the register.        Use zippered
pockets when traveling.     Keep your purse zipped up.   I am sure
there are many more tips.

We lucked out again this time.

David Locklear

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