Number One Idiot, so far in 2009

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison 
control centre.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter 
eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there 
would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the 
ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room 
right away..


Number Two Idiot so far in 2009

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life 
raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane 
and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Westpac 
Rescue Helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was 
homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was 
inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.


Number Three Idiot so far in 2009

A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked into the Branch and wrote 
'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his 
note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note 
and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the 
Bank and crossed the street to the NAB Bank. 

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller. She read 
it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light 
in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it 
was written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either have 
to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland .

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few 
minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of Queensland. 
Happened in Noosa!


Number Four Idiot so far in 2009

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the 
cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber 
saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told 
the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 
'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' 

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because 
she didn't believe
him. At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his wallet and 
gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she 
put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the 
robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two hours later.


Number Five Idiot so far in 2009

A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The
first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him..


Number Six Idiot so far in 2009

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw 
a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted 
the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The brick bounced back 
knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of Flexi-Glass. .. The whole event was caught on videotape.. 
Perth WA .


IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger.. She asked the 
person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they 
only had iceberg..Happened in Surfers Paradise !!!


IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 
''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask..'
Happened in Melbourne .


JUST AN IDIOT :

When my husband and I arrived at a car dealers to pick up our car, we were told 
the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to 
unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and 
discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know - I already done that side.'

This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo.




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