________________________________ Subject: Fwd: ] Brandy Christmas Cake Hi folks, Much as I hate cooking (and with apologies to those unlucky souls who have been unwilling victims), I wish to now wish to reveal a secret which has been close to my chest almost all my life. Now that I am in my twilight years, I feel that this valuable recipe must not be hidden from posterity. Ladies and gentlemen, I am about to reveal to you the secret of my Brandy Christmas Cake : Brandy Christmas Cake Ingredients: 1 cup water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup sugar 1 tsp.. salt 1 cup of brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 1 bottle Brandy (preferably a Napoleon) 2 cups dried fruit Method Sample the brandy to check its quality. Take a large bowl, check the brandy again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point its best to make sure the brandy is still OK. Try another cup...just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or someling. Check the brandy. Now shift the melon juice and strain your nuts. Add one stable of sommon calt. Then add three cups of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Carefully greash the oven. Slowly, turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, bowl the throw through the window. Brandish the finny and wipe counter with the cat. CHERRY MISTMAS! (Never underestimate the therapeutic value of brandy in winter) Best Wishes __._,_.___ . __,_._,___
