Hello All,
The most painful part of being paralyzed is the complete loss of every one
of my family members with whom I believed I was so close to all of my life
before TM.
The last person, one of my sisters-in-law, has finally written me off
because of the Easter Sunday debacle when the lift on our van broke and we
couldn't
make it to visit her for the afternoon.
This week, I tried one more time, to recocile with her and she basically
told me that I am no longer considered one of the family. I have no idea
where
the real problem lies...cannot figure it out, but it must be me because every
single one of my nieces and their families, my nephew and his family and
both of my sisters-in-law (my brothers are dead and the gals have both
remarried), have written me off.
After losing all of my immediate family to cancer and one snowmobile
accident, I did everything in my power to keep us all together. Now, the
niece I
was clostest to had the nerve to tell me that she thought it was always "so
fake." I have no idea where that comes from because I love my nieces and
nephew like they are my own children.
What I am wondering is: Is there anyone out there who has any idea of where
to go on the Internet to find out the psychology behind their action? I
have been told that it is not uncommon, that it happens all of the time. I
have
tried different ways of describing for an Internet search, but have had no
luck in finding a link to anything meaningful. I have looked through the
Archives and have found bits of conversation here and there, but nothing that
really puts the reality of it out there and in words that I can understand.
And, in college, I wasn't far enough along to know about these kinds of things.
Who, if anyone, out there has had this kind of experience and who might be
able to share a Link or two so that I can reference it for myself?
And, as far as using a cane to gain mobility...you know me and my big
mouth...Aren't you hurting yourself more by being frightened every time you go
out?
If you needed glasses or contacts you would use them, correct? What about
a toupe? Now that's a frightening experience! No, I'm only teasing. We do
what we must do to keep our lives as open to the world as possible; to keep
our bones and muscles as strong as we can; to constantly challenge our mental
capabilities da-da, da-da, da-da! Use that cane!
I'll bet you are a handsome old fart who might meet and dazzle some sweet
young "thang" if you felt confident while out and about.
I love you all~
Jude
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