I feel so much luckier than most of you, because I am a 62-year-old professor; which means that, even after a fit of spasms that leave me temporarily unable to talk or use my legs, I can still write papers and continue working on a book I hope will be read (it is my second) someday soon. I can also plan my lectures around these attacks by lecturing in the morning, before they are due.
Never mind that I can no longer drive and must sell my car, or that I have had to give up so many things. No one is remembered for having a great life of sports and enjoyments. Or that we liked a good cigar after dinner (I did!); or that we went to the beach in summers and knew how to enjoy ourselves. What we will be remembered for is the way we acted toward others, especially those who could do us no good; if we ever seemed to do things for others for which only the good deeds themselves would have been the payoff; that if we were religious, our religion was in our heart and not so much in our mouth; and if our talk made things easier for others, not harder. I saw my life before TM as 2-dimentional, filled with many things I enjoyed but which made no difference for others; but now I am trying to make it 3-dimensional, going upward from that surface I used to live on, to attempt to include the dimension of earning my day by doing something useful for others whenever I have the strength, even if it is just getting along with my neighbor. It doesn't mean I reject any material aid to fight the disease I can get. Ends depend on means. So, for depression, for instance, I discovered that pushing up daily dosages of Omega-3, has ABSOLUTELY helped me fight depression. I have taken 40mg/day of Prozac for about 12 years, with only some success. But after taking large daily doses of Omega-3 I have actual jolly moments for the first time since I was 3-years-old. And I take 600 mg/day of Lyrica, to stop that feeling of being flensed from head to toe. Unfortunately, I haven't had much luck with the fits, seizures or whatever you want to call them. Lately, they have left me dazed and wondering what happened. No matter. I have an appointment on a day not known to me or of my choosing. I imagine being behind some poor soul making excuses for not doing more to make that own little world of friends and acquaintances better off by any measure at all. "Did the news not reach you about a day like this?-from parents, friends, from studying, reading things, or hearing about it from others-nothing?" I don't want to be in that position. I want to have anticipated it! I don't succeed too often, but there are some nights I can lie down with satisfaction that the day went pretty well, that I was able to get something done. Maybe it's just getting dressed and making myself presentable for the day, and that was it. This letter is too long and preachy. But I have come to the conclusion that the only difference between heaven and hell is the neighbors. Dalton _____ From: kimr1999 [mailto:kimr1...@bellsouth.net] Sent: Tuesday, July 27, 2010 1:05 PM To: john snodgrass; transverse myelitis Subject: Re: [TMIC] good to see posts John, it is understandable to feed a "Loss" for what we once "Had" depression is one of the hardest things to admit for me (now on Cymbalta). I have tried to stay up beat and happy but have days that I just want to sleep and forget TM came into my life. But after joining this site I have come to realize I had to learn to depend on others, and use friends on this site for support. We all have different symptoms from TM but also a lot of us have the same. We are all in this together and no topic or question is off limits. We are here for each other for support, encouragement and questions. --- On Tue, 7/27/10, Janice Nichols <jan...@centurytel.net> wrote: From: Janice Nichols <jan...@centurytel.net> Subject: Re: [TMIC] good to see posts To: "john snodgrass" <jcs...@yahoo.com>, "transverse myelitis" <tmic-list@eskimo.com> Date: Tuesday, July 27, 2010, 8:23 AM Have you just found this website? I am not familiar with your name. Regardless, we welcome you with open arms! You are right, the depression from TM is not clinical/chemical, it is the isolation felt from having such a rare disease and your life as you have always know it, taken from you. Those are 2 big hits that have left most of us on some kind of medication for depression. I take Zoloft. Faith and good humor are huge assets, along with determination to improve as far as possible. How has TM left you physically? Can you walk, or do you use a wheelchair? Do you have family support? You are under no obligation to answer these questions, we all just have a pretty good idea of each other's situation through conversations like this. Some people like to stay more private. Regardless, we welcome any comments, questions, etc. Hope to hear from you, Janice from Missouri From: john <http://us.mc1804.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=jcs...@yahoo.com> snodgrass Sent: Tuesday, July 27, 2010 6:49 AM To: transverse myelitis <http://us.mc1804.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=tmic-l...@eskimo.com> Subject: [TMIC] good to see posts it is good to see emails from this list. having been over 2 years with TM there have been times of depression that I have never experienced even with the depression you have with the death of loved ones. I did read of this depression, I think it was on the ninds website, and understood it when it happened. I just determined that it was not clinical and decided to go to sleep. when i woke up it was gone. My Neurologist said my faith and good humor would be instrumental in my recovery. He is determined that i will.
