There was an ad on tv for the helpline. National Helpline Day. So I
called the Helpline to find help shoveling.
I had previously called Fatih in Action, that, without the great guy
who has now retired, is less than helpful. 'We only have people who
do rides,' the harried sounding woman said. This wasn't true when Tom
was there, because they had arranged for people to come help me
before. But Tom is gone.
The Helpline woman asked me about my location, zip code and age. When
i said my age, she said i was too young to get help. 'I'm paralyzed
and in a wheel chair', i said.
She sputtered and then raised her voice,"Why don't you ask your neighbors"!
This hurt and then infuriated me. If i could ask my neighbors why
would i call the helpline? But more to the point, if i had decent
neighbors, which i don't, really, I wouldn't have to ask them...
And after having identified myself as paralyzed and in a wheelchair,
what more did i need to say?
As I began to say these things to the helpline woman, she hung up on me.
So I wrote a letter to the Institute for Human Services that I sent
to three people, the head and a couple of folks in the 211 Helpline
Department since they listed only names and not responsibilities.
The reply:
Thank you for contacting 2-1-1 HELPLINE with concerns about how your
call last week was handled. It appears that the person who took the
call was not familiar with the resource(s) that might have been able
to assist you at that time.
I have done further checking into what is available and I have
learned that NY Connects does now have a list of people who may be
available to do snow shoveling. You may reach them at xxxxxxxxx
I realize that snow shoveling may not be as critical as the weather
warms but if there is an organization that can provide the human
services you need we will do what we can to assist with making a
connection.
My apologies for our having missed this referral when you called.
Ms. X
Thanks for your reply.
It wasn't only the lack of resource identification --- it was that
blaming-the-victim tone that made the experience so searingly
memorable.
If my/our neighbors helped, there would be no need for social
services, so to my mind it was obvious that I wasn't being assisted,
which is why I called.
A simple "I don't know" would have gone further than the
turning-the-table tact. I know something is wrong with me. I am
paralyzed and in a wheelchair. I need no further reminders of my
disability.
When I called the number you've listed, they identified themselves as
Office of the Aging/RSVP. I asked if they could connect me to NY
Connects. They did. However, as this was a bit confusing, perhaps you
could, in future, give the direct dial for NY Connects, or if there
is none, ask the phone answerer to include that name among
those that they say when answering the phone.
Regards,
Anyway, I connected to the designated folks who said they would send
me a list of possible people. They e-mailed me a form to sign, which
i did the same day and e-mailed back. They said they would send me
the list of providers the next day. It is a week later and I STILL
don't have the list of possible people. I've emailed them twice and
gotten no answer.
I was told about a woman who does things and called her. She was
leaving town for the holiday. She gave me the phone number for a
college kid, who came on Saturday and did a half ass job of removing
the now icy snow from the most critical place -- at the base of my
ramp... It cost me $10.
My front is clean and dry and there is still not a clear path at the
back for me to get out.
He was nice enough and told me he liked classical music -- I confused
him by saying what was playing was opera and that it wasn't the TV
but the radio and that it comes on every Saturday afternoon.
So much effort for such a little result. It rebreaks my heart that I
thought the lesson, if any, was about asking for help. But I exhaust
myself asking, trying to get, then still have to pay and don't get
the result I used to be able to get myself, in half the time, with no
expense.
Hurry, spring.
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